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Old 11-13-2011, 12:39 PM
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Default Weekly Comp - Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale - 13/11/2011 - FINISHED

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, Christmas is a little way off still. But Rare Exports is out now and is such a great film, I just had to give it away! Plus by the time the prizes finally get sent out, it'll be Christmas ( I'm joking - I plan to post prizes about once a month now)

Anyway, here's all the info....


“GREAT FUN AND VISUALLY SPECTACULAR” Kevin Maher - The Times (4 stars)



“Eighties-vintage Joe Dante and Spielberg are the reference points” (Total Film, Four Star review) for Finnish director Jalmari Helander in his critically acclaimed debut feature, Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale, coming to DVD and Blu-ray on 7th November 2011.

Described by Twitch as “a Christmas story for people who hate Christmas… executed with such audacious style and with such a big vision that it’s impossible to watch without a big grin spreading across your face”, Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale has been hailed as “an original, daring, carefully crafted film” (Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times) “full of wonderfully twisted visions” (The Onion) and as “the best anti-Christmas Christmas film since Bad Santa” (Village Voice).

Driven by his curiosity regarding a supposed archeological excavation located on a mountain near his remote rural home, young and adventurous Pietari stumbles upon the shocking, ugly truth about the being known the world over as Santa Claus.

Local legend suggests the jolly old man in the red suit was in reality a supernatural creature that, rather than rewarding children for being good, severely punished those who were naughty. When a large herd of reindeer on which Pietari’s father depends for his livelihood is found slaughtered, the townsfolk suspect it is the work of hungry wolves that have crossed into the area from the nearby slopes. But when all the local children mysteriously disappear overnight, Pietari fears the scientists on the mountain have unearthed something extremely sinister and very much alive from what is apparently “the largest burial mound in the world”.

Elements of “The Thing” are combined with the adolescent adventure spirit of “Gremlins”, “The Goonies” and “The Monster Squad” in what Total Sci-Fi has called “a fun family fright flick” and Little White Lies regards as “one of the best (and most brutal) festive kid’s films in years.”

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (cert. 15) will be released on DVD and Blu-ray by Icon Home Entertainment on 7th November 2011.

Check out the Rare Exports Fan Hub Site (created by Cult Laboratories) - Rare Exports Official UK Hubsite - Cult Laboratories


So how do you win?

Well, quite simply, all you have to do is let us know either...


What present you have always wanted to give to someone that you hated! Or if you dont hate anyone, theoretically if you did, what would you get them? Would it be something lame? Something totally useless? Or perhaps something painful?

Or what is the lamest present you've ever given/recieved? Or if your lucky enough not to have recieved a lame present, what would be the lamest?

The three funniest entries will each win this on either DVD or Blu-Ray (their choice)! Anyone can enter, as many times as they like, and the comp ends next sunday!


Obviously don't go too OTT with these entries guys, keep it fun!


GOOD LUCK

Kyle
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Last edited by iluvdvds@Cult Labs; 11-13-2011 at 12:56 PM.
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Old 11-13-2011, 01:10 PM
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I would give someone a runny shit in a box and tell them its chocolate thats melted
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Old 11-13-2011, 01:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Bringer Of Funerals View Post
I would give someone a runny shit in a box and tell them its chocolate thats melted


Greetings!
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Old 11-13-2011, 01:42 PM
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I would give James Blunt a skinhead and a spiderweb face tattoo, then he won't be singing in public again.

I'd give David Gray a neck brace to stop him from being an annoying bobble head twat!

If anyone fancies treating me this Christmas a ticket to Download would be most welcome! Worst gift I've ever received is Top Gun on DVD, I have boycotted the film my entire life and my best mate bought it for my birthday this year so now I feel I have to watch it!
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Old 11-13-2011, 01:59 PM
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The worst Christmas present I could ever receive?

A box set of the X Factor - all past seasons and the follow up Xtra Factor from ITV2...

My wife and stepdaughter watch it every weekend and its the most excruciating agony I can imagine.

Oh, and if they included a dentist appointment card as an extra that would just about do it.
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Old 11-13-2011, 02:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by darthelvis View Post
I would give James Blunt a skinhead and a spiderweb face tattoo, then he won't be singing in public again.

I'd give David Gray a neck brace to stop him from being an annoying bobble head twat!

If anyone fancies treating me this Christmas a ticket to Download would be most welcome! Worst gift I've ever received is Top Gun on DVD, I have boycotted the film my entire life and my best mate bought it for my birthday this year so now I feel I have to watch it!
oooh, i would have cried, i hate that film.

I was given a copy of Nuclear Sounds by Ash (the band) and i hate them, think i ended up using it as a coaster, Also received an ugly plain red jumper that looked like old an woolworths uniform top, One year i had no money and bought my mother a crappy card and a Chocolate orange bar, i wrapped it up as well.

If i truly hated someone why would i buy them a present? but if i had to i would pay a tramp to have a five knuckle shuffle and i would collect the after affects, bake a cake, use the tramp juice as a filling and give it to my worst enemy telling him or her it's a christmas cream cake. Yeah it's a lot of bother to go through and i would be paying a tramp to have a wank but if i truly hated that person it would all be worth while.

Or i would kidnap their child, that would piss them off.
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Old 11-13-2011, 03:33 PM
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The worst present? UNDERWEAR AND PERFUMES

that combinations is the lamest combination of totally lame presents ever

plus I had to say thanks to every family member that gave me that shit just to hide my deception
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Old 11-13-2011, 05:37 PM
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the worst gift for a man that you hate is the Mr. Wonderful doll.
Is a horrifying talking doll that says stuff like :

"Here, you take the remote. As long as I'm with you, I don't care what we watch."

"Aw, can't your mother stay another week?"

"You know, I think it's really important that we talk about our relationship."

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Weekly Comp - Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale - 13/11/2011 - FINISHED-mr_wonderful_doll_pic.jpg   Weekly Comp - Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale - 13/11/2011 - FINISHED-medium_mr_wonderful128.jpg  
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Old 11-13-2011, 06:19 PM
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The worst presents I received were pretty much every year from my Mum, she's useless.

The best of the worst was when she bought me a Barry Norman film review book in 2005 but it was the 1995 version, 2nd hand too obviously. It had pencil markings and torn pages but to top it off there was a lovely note on the first page:

"To Ant, I know its 10 years old but what do you think I am? Made of money? Merry Christmas, love Mum x"

Thanks Mum, you're the greatest.

It was followed up the next year with Superdrug Shampoo and a pencil. You couldn't even make this stuff up.

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Old 11-13-2011, 06:34 PM
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My worst present was also from my mum. It's 1994 and I've asked for a denim jacket because that's what a lot of 15 year olds were wearing at the time. Imagine the horror when I unwrap mine to find she's bought me a girls jacket, with a turquoise lining and flowery patterns on the sleeves.
I spent about 2 hours in my room thinking of how to tell her I hated it and that it was a girls one, this is the response I got when I finally mustered up enough courage to tell her. "It'll look ok when it gets mucky, you won't be able to tell it's got flowers on it". All the while my dad and sister are sat there(in their crappy Xmas jumpers) laughing their heads off at me! Yeah I had really long hair in a ponytail and not that much in the way of facial hair and I know she's foreign(Sicilian to be precise) but come on mother! I still give her shit about it now every year.

Worst present I would give someone would probably be a cd of me singing all their favourite songs, anyone who has heard me sing says I've got the voice of an angel, Angel of Death it may be but still an angel nonetheless, least I'd be playing them correctly on the old geetar




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