Crackers at Christmas
Andy Turpin never leaves anything to chance. A man obsessed with order, routine and tidiness, everything he does is precision-planned. On Christmas Eve his wife returns home to their 2nd floor flat after a day of shopping with a battered box of Christmas crackers she bought from a homeless-looking man in the street. Andy is annoyed by this as every year he buys the expensive Platinum Cracker Set from from his local supermarket but as his wife did this to be seasonal and charitable he lets this slide, against all character.
On Christmas Day he pulls the cracker with his wife and gets the bigger half. Out falls a party hat, a cheap-looking toy car and a slip of paper with a joke on. Getting into the spirit Andy puts his hat on and reads out the joke:
Q) What has 10 toes, 9 fingers and will be dead by the end of the week?
A) Andy Turpin
Andy screams, throws the toy car against the window and shouts at his wife: "Is this a joke?!". His wife doesn't understand how this has happened. Andy, becomes increasingly obsessed with his fate as predicted by the cracker. On Boxing Day while distracted by the thought of the cracker's premonition he cuts his finger off while making a turkey sandwich. He arrives at the hospital too late for them to reattach it.
"This isn't right! This can't be how it's planned!" Andy says when he gets back from the hospital. Frantic, he runs around his flat thinking of ways to overcome the grand plan that seems destined for him. "Please let me beat this!" he screams "I'll be more spontaneous in future, I don't want things to be pre-destined and ordered anymore!". He hears a noise below the 2nd floor window. Worried that this is a sign that his time is up he runs madly to the window, not seeing the toy car from the cracker still on the floor. He steps on the car, slips and goes flying through the window, landing on the ground below with a splattering 'thud'.
Andy Turpin, a man whose obsession with destiny became his downfall. A man who didn't realise that life was what happens when you're busy making other plans. A man whose distraction by a simple Christmas cracker lead to his unfortunate demise, in The Twilight Zone  |