Ok, I have carried on a little bit more with this, It took me about an hour to write as you will probably be able to tell, but I hope the story will make you overlook the negatives of my outlay...
"Hello Sandra", Dr Walsh said as he glided through the door and past Pixie, as she sat stoically watching the tree`s outside flailing softly, Then taking a chair himself, opposite her and interrupting the scene she really was`nt commuted to anyway,he continued "I am so proud of you and I really have been waiting for this day from when we first met." Pixie`s eyes instinctively darted to a random direction in the office, as they always seemed to do when any hint of the reason she was at Ingsdale was thought about or mentioned. "Well I hope things have`nt changed too much since i was a girl" Her smile weakly hid the fraudulence behind it, "So what will I do once I leave? This has become a home to me for the past 8 years and...","Sandra, You will be fine with Mrs Franklin and she is looking forward to being your foster carer so to speak, not to mention your friend and she will get you more or less, stabilized and reinitialized with day to day living" Pixie found herself smirking within about Dr Walsh`s habit of using `non-commitment` when he spoke "More or less" and "So to Speak" Although she found some humor in it, she craved to hear something solid from him, but she knew him a bit too well."Now we have sorted out your prescriptions, your future appointments with myself and Dr Hughly and you know where we are if you really need us." "Yes...I guess i do." Her eye`s almost went dark as she looked at Dr Walsh. His thick black moustache, contradictory hairline and perfectly secured eye glasses, "Do you really think I will be able to live outside of here? It`s been a long time since i have not had walls to shield me, I know you will say I cant depend on Ingsdale forever, but..." The reason she was where she sat at that very moment started sneaking up on her, which forced her to cut what she was about to say short. Pixie talked about what happened with Frank Burke many times in group or with Dr Walsh and Dr Hughly, now she realized she was on auto pilot whenever the subject came up. At first, after coming out of her haze she would be hysterical and need medication. Once the realization that she would not be left alone regarding Burke and the rape until she faced it set in, She learn`t to almost pretend she was reading a script for a play or tv show. All her emotions were turned off like how the world would go dark just by closing her eyes, she found it became easier with practice.
"But...?" Dr Walsh`s voice brought her back, "But..." Almost instinctively she changed direction "...I know how much you have taken an interest in me and how much you have helped me and I cant thank you both enough but I suppose I dont want to disappoint you or Dr Hughly". "Sandra, I wont lie to you, You have been through so much, even more so after you arrived here. I would be more worried if you had gotten to this point quicker. Look at it like this - If you put a roast in the oven on full heat It will cook quicker but in the center of it nothing will have changed. We made small steps every day and I truly believe you will make further progress by yourself, but YOU have to look towards the future rather than dwell on whether or not you will live up to standards that are perfect". The room was still as Sandra took in Dr Walsh`s words. The dark cloud of that day was not as prevalent as it was 8 years ago, but she still could not see any sunlight. The world was stale, the flowers lived to eventually wither and she was not walking in to a new life, but waiting for every new day only because it was another day removed from her first death.
"The taxi is waiting. It will take you to Alice`s house and she will get you settled in". Dr Walsh extended his hand as did Pixie, he grasped her hand with both of his and squeezed with vigor, "Pixie remember this - You`re not who you think you are, you only think you are" Pixie looked at him with a look of confusion, not only because of his cryptic advice but because he had never called her `Pixie` before. Once again she tuned out and gave him the reward of hope even though inside she felt like a sheep that did`nt know if she was going to be taken away to be sheared or slaughtered. "Goodbye Dr Walsh and please tell Dr Hughly that I appreciate every moment you both were there for me". With that, Pixie stepped in to the taxi door being held open by the driver. As she sat down reality set in. She was alone. And her life as she remembered it only begun 8 years ago with her spirit being vanquished....
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