[Make Them Die Slowly]

Originally Posted by Handyman Joe

The Wicker Tree - I knew this was going to be bad but nothing could have prepared me for the full tedious horror of this film. Where to begin sifting through this wreckage? Firstly, I've been to wedding venues scarier than the mileu of this movie - where exactly is it meant to be set? There's the oblitigary toothless locals peering round corners, but mainly it takes place in some kind of well manicured hunting estate - zero atmosphere to be had here folks. There's attempted comedy - a man with a talking raven! - but it's in no way funny, there's nudity but it's in no way sexy, there's no scares whatsoever so it's in no..... you get the picture. Why is this all so bloody dull? - I can't even get worked up about the aggressively racist depiction of Scotland - there isn't even a pub or bookies in sight - and, as for the ending, well, imagine a minor conflagaration in The Beechgrove Garden and you're way overestimating its power. An all time shitty, wretched dud.

Nice review. When I watched the film I had to keep reminding myself that it was a companion piece to "The Wicker Man" and not some crazed homage to British sex comedies.