The Fixer Uppers (1935)
Stan and Olly are selling Christmas cards door to door, Arthur Housman aka The Drunk opens his door to find the two of them on his doorstep, Arthur is obviously drunk as he constantly wears an ice pack on his head, even when he goes outside for a drink."Merry Christmas, Mother "Merry Christmas, Ma"Hi, Mommy-mommy "and a hot cha-cha".As they move on to the next door there greeted by the adorable Mae Busch as Madame Pierre Gustav who is obviously upset.
Stan:Ask her if she's got a husband.That gets them.
Olly:Pardon the presumption, but you have a husband, of course?
Mae:Yes
Olly:Now you're right up our alley!We have one here which I think
is one of Stanley's tenderest thoughts.Listen to this.
"A merry Christmas, husband,
happy New Year's nigh
"I wish you Easter greetings,
hooray for the Fourth of July"
We call that our four-in-one card.You can use it all the year round.
Mae still upset is comforted by the the boys,she explains that her husband pays her little attention anymore,this then triggers Stan to remember a story he heard.
Stan:You know what? I knew a woman once that had a case just like yours but you know what she did?She got a fella to make love to her in front of her husband and it made the husband jealous.
Olly:Then what happened?
Stan: Well, when the husband got jealous his wife knew that he was in love with her just because he was jealous.If he hadn't have been jealous,he wouldn't have paid any attention to the fella that made him jealous, see?
Olly:What'd the husband do?Go out and shoot the other fella?
Stan:No. When the husband found out he was so pleased that he was jealous,he took his wife and kissed her and they went out again
and got married all over and then he kissed her again...
Olly: Just a minute.What happened to the other fellow?
Stan:When the husband found out he was jealous,he was so pleased
that the fella had made him jealous he gave the fella a lot of money because he'd made him jealous and they all lived happy ever after.
Olly's abit cautious at first (hardly surprising after hearing Stan's story) but $50 dollars to make her husband jealous.You can do it cheaper by the week. Mae suggests that her Charles Middleton as Pierre Gustave should find them embraced in a kiss where upon Mae grabs Stan and gets him in a clinch. Olly looks on as the kiss seems to last ages, Olly taps Mae on the shoulders,she releases Stan he then faints,he gets back up gives her a kiss and then this time she faints.
Ollie: "Now look what you've done"
Stan: "Well she started it!"
Mae seeing her husband arrive grabs Olly and kisses him just in time for Pierre Gustave to witness this betrayal
Pierre Gustave :I'm looking for the viper that destroyed the sanctity of my home.
So we've gone from selling Christmas cards door to door to infidelity in one fatal swoop,surely Olly would of learnt his lesson by now, how can he even contemplate one of Stan's ideas when Stan himself can never get the plan right when he repeats it back to Olly.Of course with a name like Pierre were to assume he is a French hot head, which explains why he challenges Olly to a duel and lets be honest here Olly makes for a pretty big target.In fact it gets abit grim later on, when Pierre thinks he has killed Olly (Mae put blanks in his gun) he then announces he is going to cut him up into little bit, which then prompts the duo to leave as fast as they can with Pierre in hot pursuit blasting away behind them. The Fixer Uppers story wise is abit far fetched, but then again when has that ever stopped them, and also there's a major leap of coincidence that's gets from the bar back to Pierre's flat just in time for the duel. That said the boys do get to kiss Mae Busch so you can't blame them for that. Charles Middleton or as you may know him as Ming the Merciless. Yes he was that dastardly villain in the old Buster Crabbe serials, is as always pretty damn good and knows how to play the baddie for sure.Im really surprised we never got to see him in some juicy Rko style horror movies he makes the perfect villain. Add a touch of Mae Busch and you got a pretty darn entertaining 2-reel short.
out of 5