Doctor Who over the years: Episode quotes
The Zygon Invasion
Clara [OC]: Hi, this is Clara Oswald. I'm probably on the Tube or in outer space. Leave a message!
(beep) The Doctor: Hello, it's Doctor Disco. I'm in the twenty first century. I don't know what month. I'm staking out some of the most dangerous creatures imaginable.
(Two little girls stop and stare at him.) Operating under deep cover. Trying not to attract suspicion. Give me a call, Clara. Nightmare Scenario. I'm worried.
(He follows the little girls to the monkey bars.) Okay. Hey, Monster High and Cinderella. Down off the monkey bars. Listen to me. We've got to talk.
******************************************
Kate: You left us with an impossible situation, Doctor.
The Doctor: Yes, I know. It's called peace
******************************************
The Doctor: This is a splinter group. The rest of the Zygons, the vast majority, they want to live in peace. You start bombing them, you'll radicalise the lot. That's exactly what the splinter group wants.
Jac: Truth or consequences. What exactly does that mean?
Kate: It's just the usual kind of nonsense these idiots call themselves.
Clara: It's in New Mexico.
Kate: What?
Clara: It's a town in New Mexico. Truth or Consequences. Er, they renamed it after a TV show, for a bet or something. It's a Trivial Pursuit question. I used to memorise Trivial Pursuit questions so I could win.
Kate: That's the last place we received signal from Osgood's phone, isn't it? New Mexico.
The Doctor: Okay. Kate Stewart, no bombs for you. Go to Truth Or Consequences. See what you can find out. The Doctor will go to Turmezistan. Negotiate peace, rescue Osgood, and prevent this war, cos that's what he does. Clara, Jac, you stay here. This is your country. Protect it from the scary monsters. And also from the Zygons.
Clara: Fine.
The Doctor: Oh, and do you still have the presidential aircraft?
Clara: I thought you didn't like being President of the World.
The Doctor: No, but I like poncing about in a big plane.
************************************
Clara: How many troops do you have?
Kate: Not many. Usually on bigger cases we can draft in from the regular army. We can't do that now. The secrecy of the project has to be maintained.
Clara: You got any snazzy weapons?
Kate: There was an attempted Zygon invasion before, in the seventies, eighties. One of our staff was a naval surgeon. Worked at Porton Down on the captured Zygons. Developed Zee-67. It's a nerve gas. Unravels their DNA. Basically turns them inside out.
Clara: Where do you keep it?
Kate: We don't. It was taken. The formula, the lot.
Clara: Who took it?
Kate: Somebody with a Tardis.
*************************************
The Doctor: At ease. I'm the President of the World. I'm here to rescue people and generally establish happiness all over the place. The Doctor. Doctor Funkenstein.
Walsh: Yes, we know who you are.
*************************************
The Doctor:
(points to the question marks on Osgood's lapels ) Oh, I see you've accessorised it.
Osgood: Yes.
The Doctor: The old question marks.
Osgood: You used to wear question marks.
The Doctor: Oh, I know, yes, I did.
Osgood: They were nice. Why don't you wear them any more?
The Doctor: Oh, I do. I've got question mark underpants.
Osgood: Makes one wonder what the question is.
(The Doctor pulls up another chair and sits down.) The Doctor: Which one are you? Human or Zygon?
Osgood: I don't answer that question.
The Doctor: Why not?
Osgood: Because there isn't a question to answer. I don't accept it. My sister and I were the living embodiment of the peace we made. I will give all the lives that I have to protect it. You want to know who I am, Doctor? I am the peace. I am Human and Zygon.
The Doctor: Like a hybrid.
Osgood: A hybrid, if you like.
The Doctor: Well, I'm proud to know you, Osgood. And I promise that I won't tell anyone that you're a human. Zygons need to keep the human original alive to refresh the body print. If you were a Zygon, you'd've changed back within days of your sister's death.
Osgood: Those were the old rules, before Zygons could pluck loved ones from your memory and wear their faces. Zygons only need to keep the original alive if they need more information from them. If the interrogation is over, then the original can die.