Candyman (2021)
Who can miss the theory,
And condescend to you?
Stop the pace every two minutes,
And explain itself to you?
The Candyman!
And Nia DaCosta too!
Yes, the Candyman reboot sucks,
It replaces subtext with text,
Cause you're too thick to think complex.
Is this a remake?
Or maybe it's a sequel?
Or maybe it's a film
With nothing original to tell.
It's Candyman!
It has little to compel.
It's great they hired Tony Todd,
But it's all just a facade,
Because the film's a stinking sod.
It's Candyman!
In a script that is a slog!