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A calamity of snakes (or the things you get for a fiver on amazon!)

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Posted 20th April 2011 at 04:52 PM by keirarts

Theres a little consumer game I play on Amazon. If there's a spare few quid knocking about on my account I go on to Amazon, search for horror movies, select horror in the genre toolbar then narrow the search down to films under five quid. Try it you'd be surpised by some of the things you find on there!

Firstly you've got your supermarket horror, you know the stuff I mean, Dead silence, candyman, the children... Not BAD films per-se theres just an awful lot of them out there clogging up the super market shelves. I tend to by-pass these films, mainly because if I havent bought them from the supermarket day of release i'll just wait till they turn up dirt cheap on a car-boot or charity shop for 50p.

Secondly theres the occasional rarity somones trying to get rid of. Back when the anchor bay release of torso was a rarity, I got the film for 99p! More recently a pal of mine got sold savage streets with linda blair, the out of print 2-disc american release that tends to go for 80 quid. Add to that the strange american cult releases that dont always get sold-out.

Take impulse..

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the cover makes it look like some kind of awful soft-core porno, but having seen the film several times previously its a fantastic crazies like horror about a small town that gets exposed to a deadly virus that causes its victims to act on impulse. It also features an early appearence by Bill paxton playing a bit of a creep and the whole thing is a severely underrated cult-classic in need of discovery.

and finally the incredibly weird discoveries your glad you made.

For me the best one recently has to be A clamity of snakes!

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The film centres round a new high-rise luxury apartment building where construction is halted one day after the site becomes infested by snakes. Naturally impatient the boss decides to take swift action, gets into the nearest digger and promptly begins crushing the hell out of those snakes.... for about 10 freakin' minutes! Its at this point that you know where your gonna be with the film, and anyone who can't handle animal cruelty need not apply, its snake snuff city baby!

The boss had ignored his workers who warned him that tormenting snakes can bring about their wrath, big mistake! The construction is soon plagued by the biggest (and fakest) boa i've ever seen in my life. Still unconvinced theres a curse the boss hires a snake-fu martial artist to come and beat the long devil good and proper, cue the first and only man vs snake martial arts bout I have ever seen...

Convinced the threat is over the apartments are built, sold for a healty profit and everything seems fine, but like in any good horror there has to be one final scare, and the apartment block is infested with thousands (literally, i'm not kidding) of peed-off snakes, its die hard....WITH SNAKES!

Calamity of snakes came on the Advantage eastern horror box set released by the now defunt BCI.

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Its got a whole bunch of mad, bad and in some cases truely dreadful asian horrors including Robo vampire(robocop with vampires and zero budget) Devil's Dynamite (more of the same) Counter destroyer (nightmare on elm street rip-off with added robot vampires!) Magic of the universe (just plain bad) Satans slave (asian-islamic take on the exorcist, not too bad) Corpse master (hopping baby vampire and kung-fu comedy, not bad at all) Devils shadow (chinese attempt at a giallo, pretty good) Vampire ressurection (holidaymakers stranded on an island full of hopping vampires, lots of fun) Devils box (haunted film set/decent into madness picture, rather good but awful picture quality) and of course... calamity of snakes.

Its a fun box-set but checking it now its way too expensive at the minute, which is a shame really, at just over 2 quid before postage it was a bargain at the time but i'd balk at paying 50quid!

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Fans of bizarre and outright crazy cult cinema will probably love it though so give it a try...

Theres also one called centipede horror out there but its not as good.
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  1. Old Comment
    Pete's Avatar
    I really hate CALAMITY OF SNAKES, the amount of snakes killed for that film is shocking.
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    Posted 20th April 2011 at 05:43 PM by Pete Pete is offline
  2. Old Comment
    keirarts's Avatar
    Its best seen as a product of its time, thank the lord film companies can't get away with this anymore, and animal cruelty is certainly a hot topic in genre films, yet as a carnivore I cant get myself that worked up over it, its no worse than watching a minstrel show, a shocking reminder of the way things once were. If you can get past it though the film is mental enough to actually be enjoyable (plus the snakes get their revenge!)
    Comment with Quote permalink
    Posted 20th April 2011 at 10:38 PM by keirarts keirarts is offline
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