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Pedromonkey's DVD Review Corner.....PART 1 OF 4 DEC 09

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Posted 3rd December 2009 at 02:42 AM by pedromonkey


As i have just had the news that at least 4 members of staff have stoodpidly been given the week off and i have to work like a slave, i've decided to start Pedromonkey's DVD Review Corner this i bring you


If like me you were born in the early 80s and were male chances are you would have come across a cartoon and toyline called ACTION
FORCE, this was the UK title for the afformentioned G.I JOE, a cartoon so unbelievable badass that Transformers and Thundercats were considered lame (don't get me wrong Thundercats was the bomb when your 4 years old) The team of G.I JOE was made up of different military personel from around the globe, created to battle the evil force of THE COBRA ORGANISATION, led by the insane Cobra Commander. (you still with me) COBRA was a ruthless terrorist organisation that had there hands in everything from cloning to space exploration, the JOE force were sent in to stop them, led by Gen. Hawk. Hawks second in command was Duke followed by Flint, these men were integral to stopping Cobra' plans for world domination....The cartoon series ran from 1985 to 1986 and racked up an impressive 85 episodes. It was brought back in 1990 for a 39 episode run but never truely recieved the viewing figures that the original series pulled in during the mid to late 80s.

Toy company Hasbro released a huge line of action figures and vehicles that were posable and had a large selection of characters and weapons. As a child, i myself had amassed an impressive 102 action figures and about 198 plastic guns, most of which got sucked up the hoover....this brings me to nearly 20 years later. Im 26 years old, but my mental age is around 9 so when i found out that a movie based on G.I JOE was being made, i felt all nostalgic...i jumped onto the internet and frantically searched for information on this so called rumor and discovered a promo photo of a character called Snake Eyes, the black suited ninja that never spoke...and guess what?
it looked exactly like the Snake Eyes from the Cartoon. well i can tell you, i was giddy with joy, i had dreamt of this day since i was but a child, a movie based on my most treasured childhood memory of television based entertainment, so as it gets released in time for christmas i can tell you after watching this movie, that i sat through the 113 minute run time with a huge smile on my face. something i have not done since i saw Shaun of the Dead at my local cinema.

The Rise Of Cobra is directed by Stephen Summers, a man many movie geeks hate, not as much as Michael Bay but quite a bit, personally i think the man has made some pretty entertaining films from Deep sea creature comedy DEEP RISING to THE MUMMY, infact three of the actors from the latter appear in This film.

I will not go into the plot but i can tell you a few things that made me fall in love with this rediculously OTT action movie. To start, we have a super powered pulse pistols capable of blowing a man half way across the room, The insanely georgous Sienna Miller, dressed in black, Christopher Eccelston trying his hardest to do a scottish accent while trying to disguise the fact the he has a very prominent Manchester broag, A massive multi-layered underground base which is the Joe's HQ, a massive underwater city which is Crobra's HQ, Gunfights, swordfights, ninja's, commando's, A man with a silver head, Accelerator suits that makes the wearer of said suite almost indestructable, a pretty decent car chase through the streets of Paris, the list goes on.

The cast for a film this rediclulous is outstanding, even the not-to-funny Marlon Wayans is good fun as a character called Ripcord, Denis Quaid (a persnal fav of mine since the awesomeness of INNERPACE) plays the leader Gen. HAWK, and suprisingly Indie moppet Joseph Gordon Levitt as Cobra Commando, is very good in a role the requires him to wear the breathing mask of Darth Vader from most of the movie. The Ninja's a played by Star Wars actor Ray Park as Snake Eye's and A Bittersweet Life's Byung-hun Lee as the white Ninja storm shadow. The main actor in this film is Channing Tatum, an actor devoid of any character, who manages to be not only excrutiating to watch but also way to young to be playing the part of Duke. This film will never win any oscars, but it wasn't made to win any, it was made to make money from people willing to see France get eaten by tiny little nanobots, so as you can tell, this film absolutely does not and never will take irt's self serious, so as a study of film making techniques, is this film worth viewing, No but as a shut down, switch off movie, that wants to cater to the small 6 year old inner child in all of us, is it worth spending 113 minutes sat in front of it....ABOSO-FREAKIN'-LUTELY.....

So on that all that's left to say is...YO JOE!!!!!


pedro's score..............4/5, entertaining as hell

Next Review is Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterd.....look out for it.....
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