Worst cockney geezer(s) crime film?

[SilverSurfer]

My nominees are.

Honest (2000)

Which had two of All Saints in it and trying to do cockney accents.

Rancid Aluminum (2000)

Some of the critics have said "This film succeeds in getting its cast - some of the brightest and best of British character actors, young and old - to give the worst performances imaginable... The plot is all over the place, eventually incomprehensible, and very, very boring."

"I couldn’t even work out where the film is supposed to be set. Isn't that Portobello Road? Why is Tara Fitzgerald talking about Exeter? And how in hell did we get to this cricket pavilion? Director Ed Thomas appears to have been aiming for the Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels crowd, but misses by several billion miles."

"In many ways, Rancid Aluminium is beyond criticism because it is very hard, even after several viewings, to work out what the hell is going on" and that it was "incomprehensible and deeply lacklustre in all departments."

I agree.


and

We Still Kill the Old Way (2014)

Which had amongst it's cast Ian Ogilvy trying to do a 'cockney' accent and fails badly.

If that is bad enought they made a sequel called We Still Steal the Old Way (2017) which I will avoid at all costs.

Obviously they are popular with some sections of the public as they keep on making them eeeeeek!


So what are yours?

[Demoncrat]

Ach, I like WSKTOW. A round of familiar face kneecapping hoodies ( 'im from 'stenders is a right nasty little turd and deserves a good slapping! And breathe ...)

Green Street ... which is a bit more footbally, but does feature a trifficly awful van Dyke from one of the cast (the blonde one .... I've tried to suppress it .... the memories ....)

Ahem.

[Demoncrat]

Ahem. Not only responsible for the AWFUL The Firm retread, but Nick Love seems to be a standard bearer for these kind of movies.
See Outlaw ... where a reasonable cast (Sean Bean, Lennie James, Sean Harris and of course his 'lover' Dyer ) is wasted. A mismatched bunch of vigilantes are assembled by a soldier with a few problems of his own. Tediously exploitative ... and a spiffing bit of unreconstructed homophobia from Love in the comm means I'll watch his films no more. Strange considering his first film ahem.

[pmwpaul]

I need to track down Outlaw having read this. I believe the Guvenor himself Bob Hoskins is in it too. Is it really that bad?

[Demoncrat]

Originally Posted by pmwpaul

I need to track down Outlaw having read this. I believe the Guvenor himself Bob Hoskins is in it too. Is it really that bad?

It's pretty terrible. See Queen & Country instead, even if it has Denzel playing a Brit, nasty tense wee thing. IMHO.

[karlbifs]

Originally Posted by Demoncrat

I Denzel playing a BritIMHO.

This sounds truly horrific in itself

[marvinnashsear]

Originally Posted by pmwpaul

I need to track down Outlaw having read this. I believe the Guvenor himself Bob Hoskins is in it too. Is it really that bad?

The commentary is 90% f***s and c***s. It becomes extremely tedious extremely quickly. Hoskins is in it but he seems more embarrassed than he did in Super Mario Brothers.

[Demoncrat]

Indeed.

[energyman]

Sounds like its a long way from Bobs performance in The Long Good Friday

"Its the bloody Micks!"

[The Reaper Man@Cult Labs]

Those DTV 'Kray' films.......