Your Christmas Movies! Whatcha' Watchin' this Christmas season?

[Inspector Abberline]

Lone Wolf and Cub: White Heaven in Hell (1974)

Ogami Ittō has 150 on screen kills in this film, the most of any individual character in a movie...WIKI

Tomisaburo Wakayama as Ogami Ittō and Akihiro Tomikawa as Daigoro finally get to stop constantly walking the wastelands of desolate war stricken Japan, all i can say is they must be bloody tired, and have sore feet,well apart from Daigoro who lords it up in his little battle cart.What I love about this series is that you do get some wonderful pieces of imagery,take an early scene where Ogami blasts a wall with his machine gun laden cart,next minute the dead come crashing through the bullet ridden stone like Fulci zombies who stumbled into the wrong film..Its moments like these that make the Baby cart series stand above most other ninja fare.The other highlight is the soundtrack by Kunihiko Murai, which can manage to go from Ennio Morricone spaghetti western style guitars to covering parts of Toccata and Fugue in D minor by Johann Sebastian Bach ( title music to the Tales from the Crypt (1972) film) .There are some chinks in this ninja armour im afraid, after five movies of pretty much the same sort of thing the series is starting to lose some of the magic and you would think that after killing so many assassins that his enemies would of called it a day sooner or later, Ogami Ittō has pretty much slaughtered most of the population.Minoru Ohki as Yagyū Retsudo yet again sends another one of his offspring to die against Ogami ,this time its his daughter Kaori a knive throwing assassin who proves just as useless as the rest of them.And also Retsudo has an Illegitimate son Hyouei who is head of the Spider Clan,although they should of been called the Mole Clan as they burrow every where and stick there heads in the ground for about 42 days at a time. By the end of the film its gone abit James Bond we have swarms of ninjas on ski's and sledges and toboggans all with the express purpose of chopping Ogami and his son into little pieces. If you want a proper Christmas action film ,forget balls like Lethal Weapon,you want Xmas treats filed with snow , blood and goodwill to all ninjas then this is it.Only downside is thus wasn't the apocalyptic confrontation to end the series,so back to more walking aimlessly then.

out of 5

[MacBlayne]

My review on Krank

After witnessing his parents getting brutally murdered by a mugger in a Santa costume, young Billy Chapman grows up believing Santa Claus is the vengeful hand of God. Compounding matters is Billy’s upbringing in a Catholic orphanage. Under the strict guidance of an overzealous nun, Billy is thought that sex and nudity is shameful and sinful. You can probably imagine what happens when an adult Billy is forced to wear a Santa costume at his workplace.

Silent Night Deadly Night is probably more famous for its ad campaign than anything else. The trailers and the infamous poster (featuring an axe-wielding Santa descend a chimney) traded on classic Christmas imagery and it generated a shitstorm of epic proportions. Parents’ groups rallied against a film that would feature a violent Father Christmas and critics like Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel joined in the naming and shaming campaign of everybody involved in the film. Even Mickey Rooney came out swinging against the film, claiming to support the First Amendment while calling for the film to be banned (Give the man a break! He just turned 64! – Ed.). The outrage was so bad that, even though the film outgrossed A Nightmare on Elm Street on its opening weekend, the film’s distributor, Tri-Star, didn’t want the headache and pulled the film from theatres. They didn’t even bother submitting the film to the BBFC.

As for the actual quality of the film, nobody really commented about it. The critics that weren’t frothing at the mouth like rabies victims called it another Halloween knock-off. So, I wasn’t expecting much from a film whose only real legacy nowadays is that it had a sequel that features a kill that the internet dubbed as hilarious.

But, here’s the kicker: Silent Night Deadly Night is good. Not great, but good. At least it’s a lot better than I was expecting it to be. It has good production values (cinematography and set design are impressive considering the budget), the actors’ talents extend beyond screaming while flashing their tits and there is real effort put into the writing and directing. The killing spree doesn’t start until well after the halfway mark.

Seriously, real thought and care was put into Billy’s plight and his path to destruction. Although his brutal actions will repulse you, it’s hard not to sympathise with the lunatic as he rips his way through the townsfolk over Christmas Eve. Plus, the film raises a delightful middle finger to the crass commercialisation of the Santa Claus legend. You honestly get the impression that screenwriter Michael Hickey and director Charles Sellier wanted to make a really good film that stood out against the Halloween knock-offs. A film that rose above its limitations.

However, while Silent Night Deadly Night does rise above the limitations of the slasher genre, it is happy to wallow in the genre’s more exploitative excesses. The violence is gruesome and bloody (well, Santa is using an axe), and there is a sequence featuring scream queen Linnea Quigley (Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers) that probably made the video a fond favourite for teenage boys everywhere. Some will find the marriage of the analytical and the exploitative to be inconsistent with each other. Others, like myself, will put it down to as having the best of both worlds.

But, before I sign off, I want to talk about the film’s attitude regarding religion. Charles Sellier was an evangelical Christian who went on to make religious documentaries such as the stomach-churning George W. Bush: Faith in the White House, a documentary that found nothing wrong with a man who thought he could directly communicate with God as his finger hovered over the nuclear switch. But, Silent Night Deadly Night is rather anti-religion, or anti-Catholic in its themes. By choosing to ignore the warning signs and instead instill the fear of God in Billy, religion is to blame for Billy’s actions. And it’s not like the film hides this: it points its accusing finger at the orphanage’s Mother Superior.

Sellier later disowned the film, but judging by his interview with Calum Waddell (included with Arrow Video’s DVD release), it seems that he was more frustrated with the film’s controversy than the film itself. If this is the case, Silent Night Deadly Night is the work of a man showing some cracks in his faith, which gives the film a deeper resonance than most of its ilk.

Or maybe it’s just about a drunken f***er who goes mental with an axe. I don’t know but who really cares? It’s a fun film. Check it out!

[MacBlayne]

Originally Posted by Demdike@Cult Labs

Where Eagles Dare (1968)

Any who say this isn't a Christmas movie, well i disagree. What do we have in this splendid boys own, Alistair MaClean war time adventure?

Well, we have a lovely Bavarian village, Ingrid Pitt serving Schnapps and mulled wine, alpine trees, twinkling Christmas lights in the form of a myriad of explosions and snow. Lots of snow, meaning there's a one in four chance it's set in December anyway.

As for the film...it's fantastic. A holiday treat, endlessly watchable. Clint Eastwood at his coolest, Richard Burton who actually out cools Clint, a plot that twists and turns and at some points really does make you ask 'What the f**k?' and a final hour of all out action. Shit really blows up in this film!

Where Eagles Dare - The ultimate Christmas movie.

Clint Eastwood, Richard Burton, snowy mountains and shooting Nazis - how could Where Eagles Dare be anything but a Christmas film?

[MacBlayne]

From Krank

Picture the scene: the family are all gathered around the dinner table (if your family happens to include Chris Kattan, Fran Drescher and James Caan). Barbs are being traded as others drink nervously. And as mom brings out the Christmas turkey, old dirty secrets are being aired out in front of everyone. The family start yelling and the proceed to bellow out violent threats.

Suddenly, a loud tumble is heard from upstairs and everyone calms down. Dust starts coming down the fireplace, and the dog starts barking. Suddenly, jolly St. Nick in all his red coated glory emerges from the chimney. And before the family can even begin to comprehend what has happened, Santa has kicked the mutt into a ceiling fan, and begins to dispatch each family member in ways that Frank Castle could only imagine.

Writer-director David Steiman’s first (and only) film has one of the greater set-ups for a comic horror. In a rather wonderful stop-motion sequence, we learn that Santa Claus is a demon who would murder children on Christmas (as a callback to King Herod). However, after losing a bet to an angel, Santa was forced to reward children for a thousand years. Now that a millennium has passed, he returns to his diabolic ways.

With a premise like that, you may be wondering why Steiman has not made another film. And the answer is simple: Santa’s Slay is not a good film. Despite a larger-than-life performance by wrestling legend Bill Goldberg, and the aforementioned animated sequence, Steiman never re-captures the pure delightful anarchy of his opening scene. His direction is shoddy, his shot compositions are terrible and the sloppy editing and surprisingly cheap looking cinematography (by Matthew F. Leonetti [Commando, Dawn of the Dead remake]) only exacerbates things. It also doesn’t help that the protagonist is the type of little shit that you would push in front of a bus. He never stops whining and complaining throughout and you just pray for him to die so we can follow Emilie de Ravin’s (The Hills Have Eyes remake) far more likable (and better acted) character instead.

But, like Jack Frost, Santa’s Slay does have a joyfully sick sense of humour. This is a film that revels in finding ways for Goldberg’s homicidal Santa to murder the small-town residents. Or coming up with scenes such as the one in which a pastor offers Christmas mass condolences to strippers with names like Tess Tickler and Dixie Wrecked (say it fast).

But, the film is more trying than it’s worth and collapses around the halfway mark. If you feel that you’ve played out your Gremlins disc, by all means try out Santa’s Slay. Everyone else should just watch Gremlins again.

Best Kill: Santa uses a menorah to stick Saul Rubinek (Donny Douglas from Frasier) to a wall.

Best Line: “Why, I’m here to stuff some stockings.” – Santa, when a strip club bouncer asks him where he’s going dressed like that.

[MacBlayne]

From Krank

There’s no need to beat around the bush here. The Nightmare Before Christmas is a bona-fide masterpiece and essential Yuletime viewing. While the story of how the king of Halloween tries to take over the Christmas holiday is as thin as Jack Skellington, the execution pushes the film far beyond the average family film.

First of all, the stop-motion animation (brought to life by director Henry Selick {Coraline}) is still as jaw-dropping as it was back in 1993. Every character is beautifully realised (Zero the ghost-dog’s glowing nose is a Jack-o-Lantern) and they all have their own unique movements and facial expressions. The shot where Sally stumbles down the street after literally pulling herself together (don’t ask, just watch it), while a quartet of zombie buskers perform is a marvel to be hold.

And since it is stop-motion, it means the visuals have that more punch. Watching it on Blu-Ray, the sets (supervised by Rick Heinrichs {Edward Scissorhands, Sleepy Hollow}) are almost 3D in appearance. Aided by Pete Kozachik’s lighting, the sets are more like a fully realised reproduction of The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari than your typical Disney fare. In fact, Disney thought the film’s adherence to German Expressionism was so dark, they released it through their adult label, Touchstone.

But, it’s the songs that stand out the most. I must admit, I am not really a fan of musicals, and a musical about Christmas does not sound most appealing. But, thanks to some ingeniously funny lyrics, fantastic vocal performances and an eclectic mix of musical genres, The Nightmare Before Christmas is one of the most enjoyable and addictive musicals out there. Seriously, you’ll be singing out to the lyrics before you know it.

Gather the family and turn on The Nightmare Before Christmas and bask in the film’s warm glowing warming glow. It won’t be Christmas without it. And if you still need convincing, let me leave you with one of the finest shot compositions ever committed to celluloid:

[Demdike@Cult Labs]

Ghost Stories for Christmas with Christopher Lee - Number 13.

This classy take on MR James ghost stories is quite simply exquisite. The idea is quite simple. Christopher Lee plays writer MR James whilst he was provost of Kings College at Cambridge. Set at the turn of the 20th century, James invites a select group of students to his study as the witching hour approaches on Christmas Eve. Once there the students are given a glass of port and settle down around the roaring fireplace as James recounts one of his haunting tales to them.

That's it. The whole of the half hour episode is set in the warm atmosphere of the study. There are no other actors or additional scenes to enhance the stories, the entire thing hinges on Lee, his personality and his superb ability to chill the blood with his recollections of terror.

This series is an absolute treat. So gorgeously atmospheric, and Lee so mesmerizing, as the viewer like each and every student, hangs on his every word.

This is classic horror portrayed the classic way. I watch the three stories each and every year with the final one always on Christmas Eve. The BFI Ghost Stories for Christmas box set is one of my favourite dvd's full stop and this series is the jewel in that crown.

Absolutely superb.

[Godewind]

A good mix of classics like The Fearless Vampire Killers, The Uninvited, The Time Machine, Ghost Story (1981) and of course the perfect Val Lewtons. Where Eagles Dare is well-suited for the season too, yes. Even some favourite '70s thrillers get in this year; The Odessa File, Coma and The Eiger Sanction. Also, Our Town (1940) should to be a TV tradition just like It's A Wonderful Life has become it's just as good with some very atmospheric moments, bordering on the eerie.

[MacBlayne]

From Krank

Okay, show of hands, please. Who here has see The Ref? Anybody? No? Okay then, perhaps you’ve seen it under its UK VHS title, Hostile Hostages? No? Has anybody seen it?

It’s really weird how Ted Demme’s 1994 film has faded into obscurity. It was produced by Jerry Bruckheimer and Don Simpson. It was written by writer of The Fisher King, Richard LaGravenese. And it features Kevin Spacey, Judy Davis and Denis Leary as its cast. How the hell are more people not aware of this film?

It’s a shame because The Ref is one of the finest Christmas films ever made. In fact, it’s one of the finest comedy-dramas out there. Imagine if Ingmar Bergman was convinced to make a Christmas comedy and you’re probably close to what The Ref offers. After a botched burglary on Christmas Eve, thief Gus (Leary) hijacks a passing couple and holds them hostage until he can figure out how to make his escape. What Gus didn’t count on was that Caroline (Davis) and Lloyd Chasseur’s (Spacey) marriage is falling apart, and now Gus is trapped between spiteful tirades and sarcastic insults.

What really helps The Ref is its honesty in portraying a failed marriage. This isn’t the Hollywood marriage where people wave their arms about, shout their way through dialogue before falling passionately in love again. No, this is a case study in self-destruction. Caroline and Lloyd’s hatred for each other has seen their own lives collapse as they succumb to depression and delusion. Caroline believes if she could walk away, her happiness would be secured. Lloyd, still clinging to a pathetic America Dream, hopes that by persevering, their relationship will be saved.

Their anger has not only ruined themselves, but the lives of those around them. Their son is a military-school tearaway who resents returning home. The extended family would rather not have any contact with them, as Caroline and Lloyd’s blazing rows have already left their scars. Before the night is over, everybody is verbally torn apart, Shane Black-style insults are traded, upsetting secrets are revealed and failings are brought into the spotlight. All while a desperate Gus tries to keep control of an unmanageable situation.

A film like The Ref lives or dies on the cast, and thankfully, everybody is brilliant. Denis Leary is hysterical, switching from over-the-top threats, to anguished wails, to pretending to be the Chasseur’s marriage councillor, Dr. Wong (his explanation to his ethnicity is a one-liner for the ages). Christine Baranski (Bowfinger) is fantastic as Lloyd’s sister-in-law, who sums up the Christmas message as “either you’re good or you’re punished and you burn in hell.” Meanwhile, Glynis Johns (Mary Poppins) is pure venom as Lloyd’s mother, a woman powered only malice and rancour. As Gus puts it to her, “I know loan sharks more forgiving than you!

But, this is Davis and Spacey’s hour (or 97 minutes). Despite all the bickering, they share a definite chemistry and it’s hard not to believe that these people once loved each other, and may still have some feelings for each other deep down. Their performances are raw, heart-breaking, funny but ultimately believable. Whether it’s when Caroline gets hammered and growls “cocksuckers” to her guests or when Lloyd loses it and wrecks the Christmas tree in front of everybody, Davis and Spacey never fail to convince.

Even though all of the above reads like the most trying drama ever made, I must stress again that The Ref is one of the funniest films ever made. Hardly a minute passes without a line of dialogue that will have you guffawing like an idiot. But, it’s a comedy that will stay with long after watching, and long after Christmas.

Best line: In a film like The Ref, it’s hard to pick one line as the entire script is full of classics. So, here’s a random selection:

- “Is it possible for you to shut the f*** up for five minutes?”

- “I’m in this restaurant, and the waiter brings me my entree. It was a salad. It was Lloyd’s head on a plate of spinach with his penis sticking out of his ear. And I said, “I didn’t order this.” And the waiter said, “Oh you must try it, it’s a delicacy. But don’t eat the penis, it’s just garnish.””
- “Lloyd, what do you think about the dream?”
- “I think she should stop telling it at dinner parties to all our friends.”

- “What are we, girlfriends? Do I give a shit about this? No.”

- “The day you see anything through to the end, I’ll stick my own dick in my ear.”

- "I have a gun. It’s loaded. Shut up!"

[Inspector Abberline]

I hate Denis Leary,his whole stand up routine was a rip off of Bill Hicks,Hicks died and this jack ass jumped started his movie career,there no justice.

:burningtre e:

[iank]

The Ref is a fricking classic, I couldn't agree more!