Lethal Weapon

I'm too old for this shit blows up!

Ha,ha. A great film!

Is it the sequel where shit literally does blow up?

Dirty Grandpa.

Crikey DeNiro must have some bills. Crass shite of the lowest possible order. Think I barely made it to the halfway mark.

Last Stop (2014)

Ten people arrive at a secluded mountain resort to find it completely deserted. With no gas for the return trip, the visitors are forced to stay and investigate the mystery surrounding the abandoned lodge. It soon becomes apparent that all is not well when one by one they begin to mysteriously vanish and naturally tempers flare.

Not a bad little horror mystery thriller with competent acting from a cast including Mena Suvari. However the ultimate feeling is one of frustration as the reason for the disappearances is never resolved. It does make you want to keep watching though.

Doctor Who fans will notice several plot points in this film are extremely similar to stories featuring the Weeping Angels, including the phrase 'Don't blink' scrawled around the resort.

Overall Last Stop was an interesting one watch film that i kind of recommend.

Kong:Skull island.

Shit assuredly blows up.

Whatever faults this film has, and Kong probably has some faults, anything can be fixed with giant apes. I could care less about the snotty guardian reviews on this, they can sod off back to french films about 50 year old men screwing girls young enough to be their granddaughters. Kong is the sort of film that might get some of the snobbier critics up in arms but I loved it. Essentially its a mash up between Nam flicks like apocalypse now & the deer hunter and monster mash ups, with kong beating the tar out of various monsters and generally being a lovable old brute. Throw in a bit of Moby Dick with Sam Jackson going Ahab on Kongs ass and your good to go.
Sure its silly, sure the script is occasionally clunky but I didn't care. ITS FUN. So much FUN. There's a bit at the end credits and a moment that riffs on Cannibal Holocaust that's surprising for a pg-13 level film but then it throws a fair bit of grusome imagery at the screen. I can only imagine that suitcases stuffed with bills were involved in getting it passed. I must stress this is a real treat theatrically and well worth admission. It helps a lot that its still £4.99 at my vue.

Hopefully will retain its place as one of my films of the year.

Mena Suvari you say?

ive came to the conclusion any film that the guardian doesn't like i more than likely will. most of the reviewers seem to be stuck up there own arses and wont entertain a film unless its some arty farty crap that they pull themselves off to

I know that, strictly speaking, Mark Kermode writes for the Observer rather than its Monday-Saturday stablemate, but he was very complimentary about Kong: Skull Island on the BBC on Friday, both on TV and radio.

BBC News Channel - The Film Review, Kong: Skull Island, The Love Witch, Elle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-3zcvZTH7M

I did, however and this is a spoiler, she's only in the first half hour unfortunately.

Burlesque (2010)

A small-town girl ventures to Los Angeles and finds her place in a neo-burlesque club on the verge of bankruptcy run by a former dancer.

Starring Christina Aguilera, Cher and Stanly Tucci, Burlesque was a slightly disappointing, risk free and certainly risque free stab at a modern pop musical. Whilst certainly watchable it takes it's cues from far superior fayre such as Coyote Ugly (2000) and Cabaret (1972), It's as cliched as they come and by the conclusion i'd decided it was just an attempt to get Christina Aguilera's career back on track, but to be fair she gives it her all and certainly bestows the film a lot of energy and drive. Although the film looks good and has some fine musical set pieces it's 'been here before' storyline lets it down somewhat.

Anyone who thought Rock of Ages (2012) was poor, steer clear of this.

Should i even be owning up to watching this? I'm sure you guys will tell me in no uncertain terms. :lol:

Interesting. Pretty positive review of The Love Witch, too.

I haven't seen Burlesque but remember reading it was basically Showgirls for a PG-13 audience – is that an accurate assessment?

That's a great assessment, Nos. :nod:

I genuinely like Showgirls even if it is laughable in places.

Is that the one with the Lady Marmalade cover version in it? Killer tune.

No, that was Moulin Rouge. Burlesque would have benefited from it's inclusion though.

I would like to take credit but someone else (I can't find who) gave that analogy. I remember critics also writing about Cher being very odd to watch because, aside from her eyes and mouth, her face didn't move!

I also like Showgirls but don't know whether that's because of, or despite, the horrendous acting and laughable dialogue.

The best songs in it are the title track which i think was called Welcome to Burlesque (Don't quote me though) and Christina's cover of Marilyn Manson's The Beautiful People.

They were both quite memorable, possibly as they were performed more than once.

I also really like that version of the song and, coincidentally, listened to it a few times of this week because it was on the Spotify #ThrowbackThursday playlist.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQa7SvVCdZk

I thought the Cher face thing was because it was 3am and my companion was a bottle of Scotch.

Clearly not. :pound:

Confession time.

I went to see Ms. Aguilera touring her Stripped album back in 2002. Lady Marmalade and the punchier songs such as Fighter were the stand out numbers.

I don't think that is anything of which to be ashamed – Fighter is an excellent song and I imagine she would (a little like Madonna) have a really expensive set to make it a memorable audiovisual experience.

Better off Dead. John Cusack is a high school teenager so obsessively in love with his girlfriend that he flirts with the idea of suicide after she just casually dumps him for a local ski champion. Between coping with his mom's cooking, the sweet French foreign exchange student living with his creepy neighbours, and a malevolent and relentless paperboy, he ultimately decides to challenge his rival to a suicidal-in-itself ski competition down a notoriously "untameable" nearby mountain... This mid 80s comedy is irreverent, off the wall and frequently hilarious. Great fun from start to finish, this was once a frequent rewatch but I hadn't seen it for about 11 years for some reason, but it's still as great as ever. The DVD did a couple of weird things a couple of times, though, so I think a Blu ray upgrade is both warranted and deserved. I think my fave side character is Vincent Schiavelli's impossibly charismatic maths teacher, who genuinely has his entire class rivetted to his every (incomprehensible) uttering. Genius! :lol:
Hollywood hasn't made anything as funny as this in donkeys years.

I have a real soft spot for this film.

I don't know why, but I've never seen this. I think John Cusack is a great actor and, even though Siskel and Ebert gave it 'two thumbs down' and Cusack apparently hates it, I will probably buy the DVD soon.

I've never heard of it to be honest.

Absolute cult gem. :nod:

Lethal Weapon 2

Dolphin friendly, Apartheid hating shit blows up!

Not a film for caravan clubbers!

I bloody hate caravans.

Lizzie Borden Took an Ax (2014)

The true story of Lizzie Borden, a young woman tried and acquitted in the 1892 murders of her father and stepmother.

Lizzie Borden. A name i'd heard of, perhaps because of the 80's American metal band of the same name, but not someone i knew of or what she'd done to make her a 'name'.

Rather than taking thousands of selfies and posting them on social media as would happen now, Lizzie became infamous because she, as the title suggests, took an axe and brutally murdered her father and stepmother. History lesson over. This tv movie looks at the murders and the ensuing court case in which she managed to clear her name due to lack of concrete proof, even though it was clear to the jury she was the only one who could have committed the murders they couldn't provide the proof needed.

The film is quite enjoyable, not too taxing and an easy watch. Christina Ricci who has 'oddball' down to perfection, strolls the part of Lizzie and is always a joy to watch and the rest of the cast including Gregg Henry as the prosecuting lawyer and Stephen McHattie as Lizzie's father, who comes to a gruesome end, provide decent support.

I was surprised at how gory the whole thing was. The camera seems to practically ogle McHattie's axe mulched face on more than one occasion lending the film a whiff of the exploitative.

What really lets the side down is the soundtrack. It's ****ing excruciating if you'll pardon my French. Tiresome rock music when it should be period pieces or even none at all. It really does grate the ears and almost ruins the whole thing.

On the whole Lizzie Borden took an Ax is a decent tv movie and worth picking up at Poundland as i did last October.

All I know of Lizzie Borden is that she was axe killer who, as you say, killed her mother and stepfather. I probably only know that much because there is a rhyme, possibly mentioned in a film with people skipping, and because it is an American story which is famous in the US.

"Lizzie Borden took an axe.
She gave her mother 40 whacks.
When she saw what she had done
She gave her father 41"

The film sounds interesting – if it is cheap, I'll think about a blind buy.

Yes the rhyme comes in during the final shot which was nicely done with Lizzie looking out from her window as children skip.

BEYOND THE GATES – 'Beyond the Gates' shares similarities with a few recent indie horrors in that it seems to set itself up almost as a relationships drama before throwing in the bloodbath. 'Honeymoon', 'We Are Still Here' etc all do something like that, and there are other examples too. In this case, BTG opens with two brothers who are clearing out their dad's abandoned video store, a real relic stuck in the VHS era. Dad disappeared under strange circumstances, so things are difficult. But they get even more difficult after the brothers find an eighties video role playing board game type thing in their father's office and it turns out to be a portal into a supernatural realm where the usual bad stuff lurks waiting to happen. 'Beyond The Gates' is an interesting flick and is definitely worth a watch. I don't know how successful it is compared to a film like 'Spring', for example, where the horror is worked into the drama quite subtly, because BTG feels more like a crude cut and shut, bringing together something quite poignant and well-rendered with something much coarser – you have to admit, there is an aspect of 'never the twain' if you're trying to relate well observed nuanced indie drama to garish eighties-inspired horror, and that really shows here. I for one quite like that in itself, sort of, although it does make for a slightly jarring experience. And I have to say that, despite the presence of Barbara Crampton as the witchy host of the video game and some pretty good gore, the horror aspects are overshadowed by the build up, which is all about unspoken antagonisms, shadowy pasts and the melancholy of returning to your home town. This is carried really well by the players, with all of the main performers doing good here. If you can get your head around the tonal shift from downbeat drama to over-ripe gore, I'd say 'Beyond The Gates' is one to check out.

EVIL DEAD 3: ARMY OF DARKNESS – Yeah, back to that comedy horror thing. I don't like it generally, especially when it's broad. Black comedy's one thing, but you can't play horror for laughs. However, I've contradicted myself too many times over the years on this point to be unabashed in saying I really like 'Army of Darkness'. I guess it's the level of invention – Sam Raimi's movies were always crazily imaginative back then, and there are some great moments here, like the eye-in-the-shoulder homage to 'The Manster' or whatever, a mere drop in the ocean of a myriad other such visual gags, most of which I can't recall as it's a pretty fast paced flick whose zaniness never really lets up. For the uninformed, Bruce C has been zapped back to medieval times where he has to confront the same dark forces at work in parts one and two, except that this time there's a whole battalion of them. He might not be as iconic in his 'grooviness' as he was in 'Evil Dead 2', but Ash can still work some magic with that stump of his, and his battle scenes with loads and loads of stop motion undead are pretty impressive. And that of course is the bigger part of the draw here – it's just a movie about mashing up skeletons. That's pretty cool – what horror nerd wouldn't want to be in that position, you know, “I've just blown $xmillion on a Ray Harryhausen wet dream”. There's something charming and infectious about those kind of enthusiasms, even now.

In some versions, the rhyme continues with another two lines:

"Lizzie Borden got away
For the crime, she didn't pay"

AMUCK!
Barbara Bouchet stars as a woman investigating the disappearance of her best friend, centering on the home of a writer, whose sex / mind games with his guests appear to have got out of hand. Rosalba Neri also stars as one of the guests in this really enjoyable giallo, that makes its long awaited debut on blu ray via 88 Films Italian Collection.
Having only ever seen this one on grey market dvd, this is a big step up quality wise. There are some great extras on here too.
I really hope 88 pick up director Silvio Amadio's other little seen giallo SMILE BEFORE DEATH ( which also stars Ms Neri ) - another enjoyable thriller with plenty of plot twists and an equally catchy score.

Lethal Weapon 3

Mad Mel wanks off a dog and shit blows up!

That the Japanese release ?

Attachment 188287

Haha! Yeah but the whole dog is pixilated to remove any offensive hair other than Mel's mullet.

:pound:

Sokdier Boyz (1995, Louis Morneau)
Dudikoff gets asked to save some bint. No sweat. Cause as many international incidents as I can along the way? No problem. Also this 'revolving door policy' in our prisons needs tweaking. If you are scratching your head Now ... wait til you see this undemanding actioner...or not cough.