Whatever next. How about Invasion Of Mega Cod-In-Batter starring Alison Moyet & Howard Jones? :madgrin:

I'd buy that for a dollar! And that's probably how much it would cost to make. :pound:

Saw Zombies of Mass Destruction last night.

Was a good zombie-com, not as good as Zombieland by any stretch but had some really funni moments inc the "comming out" scene :lol:
Its a fun lil flick to watch if your bored.

You'd grow weak in the presence of beauty. :dance:

(it had to be said. I shall now go and catch a goo-goo)...... :heh:

Too Late The Hero

Not Robert Aldrich's best war film (that would be Attack) but still enjoyable, if overlong. Good to see familiar faces such as Ronald Fraser, Percy Herbert, Harry Andrews and (of course) Sam Kydd though Ian Bannen is wasted in a frivolous role. Curious casting for Lance Percival too.

Harshly X-rated when originally released though probably due to the then unavailabilty of the 'AA' certificate. Entertaining thick-eared stuff with a fine Gerald Fried score.

Meteor

A large slice of what appears to be a week old Wonderloaf falls slowly towards Earth (destroying the Twin Towers en route) and only an all-star cast can stop it. Typically silly 70's disaster film but, as with most (not all) of these films it's still thoroughly watchable fun. Sean Connery dallies with Natalie Wood (the lucky bastard bloke), Brian Keith gets a rare chance to use the F-word in a PG rated film (though in a thick Russian accent), Martin Landau snarls a lot and Sybil Danning looks stunning in a ski outfit.

Hi-De-Hi fans (are there any and, if so, why?) will spot Simon Cadell as a TV news reporter.

Oh good lord no! She will be "alone now" if Shark and Octoplod are anything to go by ... won't be shelling owt out for that one!

Strange ass film that. But there is a fascination to it.
It's a really schizo picture too, being very light-hearted at first (some nice Caine "Alfie" cocky Cockney humour here) but then turns pitch black.
It always surprised just how downbeat and cynical this got after that opening. Nihilistic to the bone this.

I always remember just how revolting a creature Ronald Fraser was as well. A nasty piece of work.
Some good plot twists too and some pretty gruesome moments here and there (always remember the body parts sequence) and yes Bannen was underused but thanks to what his role is...and his relationship to the vile Fraser...I thought he was memorable. As was Denholm Elliot in perhaps the most cruel and cynical part of the film.

Went to see Alice In Wonderland tonight - two cinema trips in a row! Oh yeah! - and wasn't too impressed with it to be honest. Fell asleep half way through :laugh: It seemed to have all the ingrediants but lacked anything special. Although the last third of the film was quite good, and the 3D worked well. Not something I'd go out of my way to see again.

I went to see this in 3-D yesterday iluv. Can't say I was too impressed with it either... :ohwell:

It seemed like it was a film concocted to try and target every type of cinema-goer but it just came up short for me. There were some good voice actors in it (particularly Stephen Fry and Christopher Lee) but even the 3-D failed to impress me much really....

.... this could be due to the fact that I'd seen that Oscar-dodging Pocahontas rip-off Avatar in 3-D the day before. Wherein the 3-D was better, but it was such a bland, predictable, empty shell of a film I don't think I'd ever want to see it again. :ack:

Couldn't agree more BE! I wasn't expecting Christopher Lee to voice anything in this so that was a nice surprise. It seemed like it was a colour by numbers Burton film - odd, strange characters, Johnny Depp etc - but one where someone had coloured out of the lines ending in a mess.

I think I'll stick with the animated Disney version!

Good choice mate! :nod: :biggrin:

just sat throught 127 minutes of Twilight New Moon, What a wanky film. The girl in it is such a pussy, one minutes she wants some vampire loving then she wants some werewolf loving, whats next some mutant Pirahna man Loving. The strange this is, even though this film is wank, i want to see Twilight Eclipse now because the this one ends on a cliffhanger. I feel like a 14 year old EMO girl.

After Cross Of Iron and Attack!, Too Late The Hero is my favourite WWII film...so my third favourite...you get what I mean! :lol:

He also worked with Aldrich in Flight Of The Phoenix and Killing Of Sister George. He was an odious git in the latter as well though he ends up falling foul to a tanked up Beryl Reid. :laugh:

Just to point out I meant his character, not him personally! LOL!

OOOOOOH! I loves me a bit of "Sister George". Reid is fantastic and that scene...is still damn sexy.

Me too. It's a deliberately paced film but all the better for it. Reid is absolutely phenomenal, York never looked lovelier, and Coral Browne's performance was excellent.

I watched Romero's Survival of the Dead. Eh, it was about what I expected.

The Wild Geese

Revisited these after Too Late The Hero, and it's hard to think of a more perfect film than this. It just seems to look better every time. Not a bad performance in it and it's sad to think that, of the main stars, only Roger Moore & Hardy Kruger are still with us.

Admittedly Joan Armourplating's theme song should have been sent to oblivion but why carp when everything else is so good (including a brief appearance by a short-skirted Suzanne Danielle). Would this film have worked with the originally cast Burt Lancaster (as Janders), Stephen Boyd (as the RSM) or Joseph Cotten (as Sir Edward)? No, I don't think so.

[spoiler]The death scenes of the main characters are also deeply moving. Especially Harris, Kruger (who drools a bit too much for my liking) & Jack Watson. Even the graphic stabbing of the heroic Kenneth Griffith is horrific and disturbing. The look on Burton's face as he holds the hand of the dead Limbani is sheer brilliance.[/spoiler]

Films like this are impossible to improve upon. It's what great movies are all about.


Wild Geese II

Let's get this out of the way quick. A great big steaming turd of a film with no redeeming features whatsoever, and an insult to the movie that shares its title. Wild Geese? No, more like Vile Turkey.

I can find nothing good about this atrocious mess. A badly acted, badly scripted misfire that doesn't even waste a good cast (because it isn't). Richard Burton died before making this (bet it was just an excuse) and the role (which wasn't in the book anyway as the Burton character was killed off in the original novel) was rewritten as his brother (mercenaries run high in the family) and given to a hopelessly miscast Edward Fox ("Thanks for the party, chaps. Wouldn't have missed it for the world") who seemed as threatening as a one-legged stoat. Stratford Johns sweats a lot as a fat Arab ("By jove sir, I like your style") and as for Laurence Olivier.... well, this is on par with Inchon and The Jazz Singer ("I hef no son!") as his most lamentable performance.

Absolute bilge.

Words, took, out, my, right, the, mouth, of!!

Perfectly put!
And Griffith is a joy! "My my, look at the size of you big bastards"!:tongue1:


LMAO! :lol: :thumb:

"Elsa: Fraulein SS"

http://www.beardyfreak.com/rvelsa.php


"Salon Kitty" on a choo choo.


Welcome to the world of Eurociné!
If many (though certainly not all) horror/exploitation flicks of this time were low-end rehashes of the current American cinematic trend…Eurociné were making rehashes of those rehashes!

“Elsa” opens with upbeat classic music playing over stock footage of Hitler shouting a lot and his armies goose-stepping merrily along.
After this we are thrown into even more cheap padding footage taken from newsreels of various battles before the movie jerks into the film proper as we see a handful of bored, skinny, extras in baggy (and rather dubious looking) German uniforms shuffling down the road.
Almost all the extras in this are awful though. They either stand there slouching and looking bored (not good when dressed as a soldier) or staring at the camera with a look that says “how long till the lunch break”.

Thankfully the look and production design of the film improves a bit after the opening as we enter a chaotic Nazi headquarters in a mansion which is of course complete with multiple swastika flags, Hitler photos and a smug git (with a gloriously theatrical twitch) in a groovy looking Black and silver SS uniform (I’ll say it once again…say what you want about those damn Nazis, but the bastards sure knew how to dress) who sets the plot up.
So if nothing else we at least have some essential iconography on display.

After this scene setting sequence we have the ever essential ‘medical check-up sequence’ to pick the prostitutes.
The luckiest actor in the film?
The guy who plays the examiner who spends his time opening the women’s legs (as they lie down naked on his table) and getting right in there with his beady little eyes to check that all Nazi vagina’s are up to snuff. Or sniff.
So far so trashily good.

As we move onto the train all the delightful Naziploitation cliché components are here, from much groping in stiff uniforms, sexual humiliation (only mild though here), preening Nazis, shifty spies, theatrical fanaticism and a spot of Dietrich like singing involving piano perching, see-through lingerie and a big feathery boa.
But then unlike the train, the film loses steam as we watch numerous extras get bloodlessly shot in the head for saying nasty things about Adolf with their trousers down.
The dead direction, amateur staging, laboured dubbing and repetitiveness of it all starts to make the mind wander.

Thankfully Elsa’s rather magnificent breasts (Malisa Longo is no Dyanne Thorne but she looks damn hot and is willing to let it all hang out, and get zoomed in on, for the cause) bring our minds back to the movie.

It’s not long though before we’re back to a slow crawl again and get hit with blatant padding when we get to spend time with wimpy Frantz (dubbed over by someone doing an impression of James Mason. But even at his lowest career ebb I don’t remember James Mason licking the boots of a sadistic Nazi bitch with no knickers on!)

Sadly we have now come to the conclusion that, despite the high camp value and genuine ‘so bad their good’ moments, the film is often very slow, lacking energy and mired in too many flat dialogue scenes.
We do get a few dialogue gems though.
Frantz: “To spy while making love! Disgusting! But no one compels you to have orgasms”!

We have a little bit of violence to liven things up slightly that comes in the form of some rather mild torture (a bald old guy) and a brief bit of naked woman flogging.
The various shootings are ridiculously bloodless though and the weapons mostly sound like cap guns.
And boy! The action scenes are bad.
Those bored looking extras I mentioned just stand around in the open pointing guns in a confused manner pointing their cap guns and going ‘pop’.
Then occasionally one of them will clutch their chest and slowly and carefully fall to the ground in what passes as the horrors of war.

The lack of any real bloodshed, inventive torture (I know, I know, but we are talking Naziploitation here) or general sadism (I know, I know, but we are talking Naziploitation here) in “Elsa: Fraulein SS” is a let down as far as good old fashioned cheap thrills go and we only have the frequent nudity (and its lovely collection 70’s pubic bushes) to keep our interest up , away from the more unintentional joys of course at the sheer wonderful badness of it all.

And as for the end, well, what can one say except…Heh?
Worst stock footage explosion ever leads into a bizarre open-ended finale that seems to hint at a damn sequel! As if! Talk about wishful thinking.
Definitely one for Naziploitation completists (and fur lovers) only.

And was it my imagination or during the meeting between Fox,Barbara Carrera and John Terry,did Fox say that he took part in the African operation in the first movie? Funny,I don't remember that.

We watched Possession (2009) the other night, wish we hadn't though :(

http://midnightspecialfttf.blogspot....sion-2009.html

Watched Jigsaw last night that I bought in Poundland.A Fullmoon film from the period when they were produced by Tempe Entertainment and had Charles Band Slap his name on it as an Exectutive Producer.A terrible,terrible film.Terrible acting,terrible production values and a dvd with picture quality that looked like it had been mastered in someones basement! Thank god Fullmoon/Charles Band is making better films these days.Bring on Puppet Master:Axis Of Evil.

Watched "The Fourth Kind" last nite ... what a pile of pap! I wasn't convinced one bit that any of the "genuine" footage even looked close to being that!

Poo

:ack:

... Altough

"Triangle" was terrific!!!

Keeps you glued to the screen all the way through. Don't want to give anything away, but can highly recommend this intelligent piece of film making.

Triff

:rockon:

:lol:

yeah it is bad.
:ack:

I like SMG, wish she would do some good movies.

Alice in Wonderland 3D and thought it was not bad, love Tim Burton but not one of his best!

Plan to see Shutter Island and Kick Ass next week!

I am not sure but I can only really remember one bit from The Sentinel .... and it has stuck in my mind ever since ... an old woman shouting something like"Black and white hat, black and white cat!"

I may have the wrong film as I rented this in the very early 80's when I was young and vulnerable :ohwell:

It was long and boring though as I remember ... then again with Michael Winner involved, what more could I expect :(

Fox was probably confused. He meant to say that he'd gone to Paris in an attempt to assassinate De Gaulle but ended up getting shot by that bearded French chap from Moonraker. :heh:

:lol: Could be! And poor Lord Olivier.I know he was supposed to look confused throughout the film,but I think it was more a look of embarrassment. :embarassed:

He probably was and, after Inchon and that abysmal Neil Diamond monstrosity, he had very good reason to be. :ack:

Watched Saw VI again - first time on DVD - very good sequel! Tonnes of great traps and a fairly good twist too.

Just finished watching Inside. Mmmmmmmm, what can I say, It's rather disturbing to say the least. Some pretty cool death scenes and unpredictable throughout which makes a change. Problem is, my g/f thinks I must be some kind of sociapath for watching it and now won't talk to me..... honestly! Guess who's on the sofa tonight?

Inside is a terrific little film. I'm guessing your gf isn't a fan of French horror cinema then? ;) She's not pregnant though is she - that could explain it otherwise! :biggrin:

Nope........well not that I know of. Shit! I think you've just opened a can of worms. KELLY??!!!!! :confused:

:lol:
ha ha

Speaking of Inside, I think im one of the few people who thought it was way over-hyped and didn't pull through really. It felt lacking and that great tbh.
I may need a 2nd viewing as I not seen it since it was released in the US.

"Shutter Island"

Liked it.
But it was perhaps just too long especially when the film is ultimately only existing to get to the twist(s).

Nice turns, looked great, stupidly unsubtle music though and some good atmosphere.

You can see what's coming though (though where you pick it up I know varies) and only the VERY end was a real surprise.
And this little bit (listen to the final sentence said in the film) saved the film from just being ho hum. As it was a nice little idea and added a real poignancy to the final moments.

I agree. The push this one got on horror websites was overbearing. When I watched I found myself laughing at all the projectile blood spray and how 'try-hard' it was. It wasn't intense or shocking. I liked it, but it's an example of internet promotion gone silly. I had a similar experience with 'Martyrs' - which again is by no means a bad film - but it was pompous and ultimately lacking in depth considering how profound it was meant to be.

Of the recent french shockers, I liked 'Frontiers' the best. That new it was an exploitation picture and went to town providing some nice cheap frills.