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  #42861  
Old 6th August 2017, 09:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bleakshaun View Post
Lick my whip wounds and try to sit comfortably without it hurting

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Lol after being whipped try doing my job, sit back and watch 150 cctv cameras
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  #42862  
Old 6th August 2017, 09:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrBarlow View Post
Lol after being whipped try doing my job, sit back and watch 150 cctv cameras
Easy, good exercise having to jump up after sitting down in an awkward position continuously

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  #42863  
Old 6th August 2017, 09:51 AM
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Continuing the transformation into Sex Labs

Are You Being Served? (1977, Bob Kellett)

The Grace Bros massive embark on a studio bound "Euro" jolly. Even Carry On Abroad managed to get outdoors
Typifying the British attitudes in this time (sniggering at sex ... laughing at foreigners)
This is tawdry and cheap set in stone.
Give me The George & Mildred Movie anyday. They use the "taking a break" scenario far further and funnier .....
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Last edited by Demoncrat; 6th August 2017 at 05:42 PM. Reason: GRRRRRRRRR
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  #42864  
Old 6th August 2017, 09:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Demoncrat View Post
Continuing the transformation into Sex Labs

Ate You Being Served? (1977, Bob Kellett)

The Grace Bros massive embark on a studio bound "Euro" jolly. Even Carry On Abroad managed to get outdoors
Typifying the British attitudes in this time (sniggering at sex ... laughing at foreigners)
This is tawdry and cheap set in stone.
Give me The George & Mildred Movie anyday. They use the "taking a break" scenario far further and funnier .....
Sex labs? I was thinking along the lines of 50 shades of cult

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  #42865  
Old 6th August 2017, 10:06 AM
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Now for the cold shower ....

Til Death Do Us Part (1969, Norman Cohen)
Garnett's bladdy life told in a bleedin' origin story stylee. We see our intrepid protagonist battle the bladdy council, neighbours an' the bleedin' Luftwaffe using only his inate sense of whinging
Felt the pathos creeping in at the end though. Not a patch on the 70s version.
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  #42866  
Old 6th August 2017, 11:53 AM
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Over the last couple of days:

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) – Chronologically, the first film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), and a really good World War II action movie. For those of you who don't know, the film follows Steve Rogers, a man who wants to serve in the army but has numerous health reasons preventing him from doing so resulting in a 4F designation. Fortunately for him, a scientist sees something in him which makes him perfect for an experiment in which the subject basically become superhuman, with every aspect of themselves being boosted – in Rogers, this includes his compassion and gratitude for strength.

I remember being underwhelmed by this at the cinema, but it could have been because it had followed slightly glossier and more exciting Marvel movies. On its own, and treating it as the first entry in the MCU where none of the other 'Avengers' exist, it's really interesting and Chris Evans is superb as Rogers, with some inspired VFX making him look like a 90 pound weakling and the genetically enhanced super soldier. Hugo Weaving is terrific as the antagonist, a mutated Nazi called, because of his appearance, Red Skull.

Iron Man (2008) – After the events in the first series of Agent Carter, the MCU moves to the present day, with weapons manufacturer, narcissistic playboy Tony Stark in Afghanistan to showcase the new "Jericho" missile. When his Humvee is attacked and he's taken prisoner, a fellow captive called Yinsen saves his life by using an electromagnet to keep the shrapnel in Stark's chest away from his heart. It transpires the warlords are keeping him prisoner so he can build missiles for them and he, with Yinsen gets to work. However, unbeknownst to the Afghan warlords, Stark and his assistant are not initially building missiles, but an arc reactor to replace the car battery-powered device in his chest and, once independent from wires, a powerful suit which, when completed, allows Stark to escape.

Back in America, Tony realises the impact of his weapons sales and unilaterally decides to enter that aspect of Stark Industries' business enterprises. There are secondary stories with Obadiah Stane, one of Tony's friends and business colleagues working behind his bosses back to take control of Stark Industries and resume openly selling weapons, plus you have the humorous interactions between Tony and Happy, (Tony's chauffeur and bodyguard) and between Tony and Pepper Potts, his assistant and love interest.

Jon Favreau directs this with real verve and humour, but the dark moments are suitably moving, and the film is an absolute blast from first minute to last, with the post-credits scene adding much more to the drip feeding of information about S.H.I.E.L.D, which happens throughout the movie as Agent Coulson tries to debrief Tony.

The Incredible Hulk (2008) – When I saw this at the cinema, I thought the opening credits sequence was very cleverly done because, alongside the names, it’s a montage of the events everyone knows about so the film can work on assumed knowledge and, almost without explanation, begin with Bruce Banner living in self-imposed exile in Brazil. On first viewing of the cinema, I was underwhelmed by the VFX, whilst being impressed by Edward Norton's performance in the lead role, with the talent gap between him and Liv Tyler, playing Betty Ross, Banner’s former girlfriend who was injured in the gamma radiation experiment which altered Banner’s DNA so when his heart rate reaches 200, he undergoes a remarkable physical transformation to become the titular green creature.

The main thrust of the story is Banner looking for a cure to his blood condition, and the military – spearheaded by Ross’s father – looking to get his blood in order to make super soldiers. The main antagonist is Emil Blonsky, a colonel who isn’t interested in being promoted to general as he wants to fight rather than do paperwork, and part of that sees a blood transformation turned him into the Abomination. As such, the military’s experiment is beyond their control and their only hope is the person who was previously their most wanted target.

I really like Louis Leterrier’s direction, because he proved with the first two Transporter movies that he can really do action sequences, and it is certainly a better film than 2003’s Hulk (something I thought was boring and bloated, perhaps unsurprising considering Ang Lee is not really recognised as an action movie director), but when compared to the other MCU films, Leterrier doesn’t seem able to inject the comedy or human element that makes the other MCU films so funny, witty and generally memorable. As I said, Edward Norton is terrific as Bruce Banner, so although it was a shame that he didn’t continue as Bruce Banner, Mark Ruffalo is a more than adequate replacement. Aside from the lack of fun, perhaps The Incredible Hulk’s biggest problem is it had the misfortune to be released in the same year as Iron Man and The Dark Knight, two superhero films which are superior in every way.

Iron Man 2 (2010) – I think last night’s viewing was the first time I’ve seen this film since being thoroughly disappointed at the cinema and, based on what I saw, I have no idea why I was so down on it. Robert Downey Jr is again utterly brilliant as Tony Stark, Jon Favreau’s direction is as good as it was with the first film, and the verbal sparring is a joy to behold.

This picks up a couple years after the events in the first film, with Tony Stark ‘outing’ himself as Iron Man and arguing the suit is his property and cannot be taken by the US military because he and the suit are inseparable, so without him it is not a weapon but, with it, he has ‘privatised world peace’. This is, to put it mildly, disappointing news to rival weapons developer Justin Hammer who, unbeknownst to Tony, has been in touch with the son of Anton Banko, a Russian his life was very badly impacted by Howard Stark, Tony’s father, when Banko dies, his son, Ivan, continues his work and develops a similar suit to the one Tony has, only with electrified whips powered by the core. When Ivan attacks Tony, he loses and is captured, but Hammer breaks him out of prison so he can assist him in developing weapons. If this wasn’t bad enough for Tony, he is also trying to find a solution to the palladium core in the arc reactor which, despite keeping him alive, is simultaneously poisoning him.

As with the first film, the blend of superbly crafted action sequences, ‘buddy comedy’ moments between Tony and Happy, the verbal jousting between Tony and Pepper and real human emotion works superbly. There’s also a noticeable escalation of the MCU, with Nick Fury very prominent and introducing Natasha Romanov into the series. The fact all this is so neatly scripted by Justin Theroux and executed by Favreau is a testament to their skill, and the VFX is spectacular, plus sound which (courtesy of the subwoofer handling the explosions) had my floor vibrating. It may not be as good as the original, but it’s a film that relishes in the lead character’s flaws, completely screwing with the viewer’s moral compass and making arrogance, narcissism and sexual misconduct funny!

As the post-credits sequence showed the Hammer of Thor, quite neatly informing the audience Thor (2011) is the next film in the MCU, I’ll probably watch that later tonight and then The Avengers and Iron Man 3 next week, something which takes beyond the first season of Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.. However, as I also have (in no particular order) The Creeps, Zombie Creeping Flesh, The Flying Guillotine, Luther the Geek and Joe Bullet which I really want to watch ASAP, it’ll probably be a case of having some very varied viewing and alternating between high budget Hollywood superhero movies and films made with much, much less money!
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  #42867  
Old 6th August 2017, 12:39 PM
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THE AUTOPSY OF JANE DOE – A mysterious cadaver turns up at the local morgue and spells trouble for mortician Brian Fox and his assistant son. TAOJD is a very well put together slow burn for the most part, and includes some interesting themes and ideas – I was quite taken with the nature / back story etc of the corpse in question, although I won't go into it for the sake of spoiling the fun. There's also a tense, looming atmosphere, although TAOJD falls down a bit in its latter sections when it goes for obvious genre stock-in-trades like jump scares. All in all though, a recommend.

A CURE FOR WELLNESS – Bit torn on this big budget but pretty weird effort from the director of 'Pirates of the Caribbean'. It's about a company CEO whose icy dedication to the world of high finance is tested when he ends up stopping over at an Alpine sanatorium where bad stuff's going on. Latter includes things to do with eely organisms and rejuvination, not to mention some dark history and a bit of rape-by-burned-looking-guy at the end (slight spoiler). Visually, cinematographically, ACFW does pretty well, and manages to evoke both a frosty elegance and, at least at first, a mounting sense of unreality . There's a background resonance to it all which threatens to rumble all the way up to cosmically Ligottian dimensions somehow, but the film ultimately decides to play it safe and wrap up its oddness in easily digestible forms – getting a bit more actiony, the firey back story, the bit at the end with the 'House of Wax' style reveal etc etc. So, a bit disappointing in some ways, but an intriguing oddity that I shall definitely play again some time.

PERSONAL SHOPPER – Kristen Stewart plays a post-collegiate type washed up in Paris and haunted by unknown others in this eerie number from Olivier Assayas. Stewart's character Maureen is living in the shadow of her brother's death, and, convinced she's still connected with him, spends her time looking for evidence that he's making contact. She starts to receive enigmatic texts which brush up against her preoccupations. Has the supernatural arrived, or is it something to do with her mysterious boss, a rarely seen fashion celebrity, and her bitter ex? 'Personal Shopper' is a slippery film, difficult to pin down. It moves in places like a supernatural horror, at other times like a mind-gamey thriller, at others like a down-beat indie drama. I really liked it – it summons up quite a baleful atmosphere where it's difficult to tell what's going on or who's being played. The only certainty at its heart is Maureen's alienation, and Stewart gives another of her reliably neurotic performances, one which embodies the film's claustrophobia and gathering paranoia. And the last few moments of the film are as chilling as anything I've witnessed recently. Recommended.
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  #42868  
Old 6th August 2017, 02:28 PM
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Don't know where to put this.....
Hitler - The Rise of Evil
Set prior to the second world war, this depicts Hitler from as a child to the point of him becoming the chancellor of Germany..
Robert Carlyle brings a great performance as one of the cruelest men of all time, supported by a cast including Peter Stomare and Matthew Modine. The major issue is the lack of accents. None of the cast do anything to hide their real nationality.
7/10

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  #42869  
Old 6th August 2017, 04:05 PM
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Knucklebones (2016)

Some young people manage to resurrect a demon from the depths of hell by rolling some knuckle bones. Naturally said demon then goes on a rampage.

I have to say i loved this 80's slasher throwback. Which encapsulates all that was good about the genre including a great looking demon that reminded me of an unmasked Jason Vorhees from later Friday films with quips straight from a Freddy Krueger phrase book.

Although done on a budget it all looks quite impressive. Shot on film rather than digitally it looked the part and the abandoned clothing factory was a suitably impressive location. Admittedly some of the actors weren't wonderful especially the girls, but i think they were chosen for the size of their chests as much as true acting ability. Having said that they were all quite appealing characters and had a wonderfully witty script to deliver. I have to admit i laughed more than once.

Just when you think the film is petering out and will never reach it's 80 min run time, writer / director Mitch Wilson throws another bunch of characters into the mix, this time punks intent on stealing lead pipes from the factory, all who are very much ripe for the slaughter.

And it sure is a slaughter. The effects are all practical and suitably gory. Bones are broken, stomachs ripped open, faces melted... and a couple of great kills that i won't spoil for anyone who decides to give Knucklebones a go. Lets just say i winced and also laughed at the ingenuity of them. The BBFC would not have been as amused back in the day.

Knucklebones is never going to change your world but it should give you enough popcorn throwing slasher fun for an evening.

Well worth the fiver it cost at Morrisons. Recommended.
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  #42870  
Old 6th August 2017, 04:26 PM
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Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart at the River Styx (1972)

**** out of *****

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