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  #45431  
Old 13th February 2018, 09:04 AM
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movie and takeaway night.


Welcome to Willits

A meth head who believes he was abducted by aliens freaks out when he thinks they have returned. He begins to start killing off the aliens in the woods not aware that they are just campers out looking for the local hot springs.
Its an interesting idea that's somewhat flatly shot. It boasts Dolph Lundgren in a film within a film cop show that was probably where most of the budget went. Its not a terrible film, and if you see it on netflix/prime it might be worth 90 minutes of your time. If its in poundland give it a go. Just don't spend real money on it.

Cold skin

A man arrives to work at a remote antarctic light house. He arrives to discover a demented Ray Stevenson who initially refuses him entry to the light house. Things get worse when he discovers a race of humanoid amphibious creatures head onto land at night to attack people living there. Eventually he manages to talk his way into the lighthouse and the pair begin their nightly defence of the lighthouse. However our protagonist begins to discover all is not what it seems and starts to question who are the real monsters.
Up to a point cold skin manages to successfully capture some of the cosmic terror of its main influence H.P Lovecraft. Its based on a Spanish novel which seems to have mined the same influences. However it seems to lose this at some point mid way through the film and it ends up feeling a little unsatisfying. Its still worth checking out if you get the chance. Its visually striking and the creatures are well realised. Its just a shame that you begin to realise Stuart Gordon did a better job of humanising the creatures while still making them scary.

Headgame

Remember the craze for torture porn a few years back? There seems to be a desire to bring it back. We had another (disappointing) Saw movie recently. We also get this. Its pretty much standard fare. A bunch of people wake up in a warehouse with cameras attached to their heads and only one person can leave. Its about what you expect, with a lot of padding at the end to make it have a run time over an hour. The gore effects are pretty good but thats about as much praise as I care to give the film.

Toxic shark

A singles resort is attacked by a poisonous shark that can shoot toxic substances at people on land. Its poison seems to turn people into zombies. Pretty much as it sounds. It has some production values and its far from the worst shark movie SYFY have turned out. Could have lost ten minutes perhaps but it passes the time.
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  #45432  
Old 13th February 2018, 09:49 AM
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Hatchet (2006)

*** out of *****


Subspecies (1991)

*** out of *****


Bloodstone: Subspecies II

***1/2 out of *****

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  #45433  
Old 13th February 2018, 01:32 PM
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THE SECT – Had the vaguest memories of ‘The Sect’ before I watched it a couple of weeks ago. I certainly couldn’t remember whether I liked it or not, and, at two hours, I was a bit worried its run-time might send me the way of ‘The Church’ (Soavi’s previous flick was generous with the fried-looking visuals but wasn’t afraid of uneventful build-up, either). I came away from it thinking that ‘The Sect’ is Soavi’s strongest moment. It’s a really odd film – in a way, nothing much happens for a lot of it, but, unlike ‘The Church’, its relative non-eventfulness is injected with heightened ambience and atmosphere. The plot is all vague Satanic conspiracy stuff, with Kelly Curtis being groomed by Herbert Lom to become some kind of devil’s bride, but ‘The Sect’ is more about twilit stylistics and the steady accumulation of weird details then sense. The cinematography really soaks up the shadows and lends the lead character’s living space an expressionistic tilt, whilst the recurrence of objects and images – rabbits, weird blue ribbons – works up vibe of foreboding. There’s some ickier stuff at points and we get to see insects going in through people’s mouths and a face being ripped away by hooks, but for the most part, ‘The Sect’ is more ominous rumble then lightning bolts of gore. I really liked it, I know many just think it’s a bit boring, but for me this stands at the peak of Italian horror surrealism.

ALIEN FROM THE DEEP – Bought this after reading Demoncrat’s review – cheers, man! I’d never heard of it, although it’s an Antonio Margheriti title. It’s from the late eighties fade-out of Italian exploitation, a rocky terrain for some. All I can say is, for those into the bottom of the Euro-barrel, AFTD shouldn’t disappoint, and speaking personally it’s exactly the kind of Italo production line schlock that I lap up. Although it announces itself as a sci-fi horror flick, AFTD is more a splice between two thirds environmentally aware actioner and one third ‘Alien’ rip-off. There’s a chemical plant that’s been doing bad things with radioactive material and a couple of intrepid activist types keen on exposing foul Charles Napier and his frothing mouth. After a few jungle chase scenes and a groovy snake attack, an alien with a massive crab claw rises ‘from the deep’ and does some slimy damage. Margheriti keeps things functional and straight faced, which offsets the alien absurdity later in the film. It’s competently put together, too – I can’t help but wonder what Bruno Mattei might have done with the same material! Doubt he could afford the massive crab claw, though. Enjoyable stuff.

THE TOOLBOX MURDERS – I’ve seen ‘The Toolbox Murders’ three or four times over the years. There are always things that stand out about it. The most obvious for me is the strangely lopsided construction – the film begins with a pretty vicious murder spree, then settles down into a psychodrama dominated by Cameron Mitchell’s unstable performance. It’s hard not to take a shine to Mitchell when he does his warbling monologues concerning, amongst other things, the accident that killed his little girl. The latter is not very convincing as a plot device to explain the genesis of a power tool - fixated murderer, but it’s the springboard for a delivery that seems risible and disturbing all at once. In a way, Mitchell is the best thing about TTM, although the first twenty minutes take some beating for grindhouse harshness and there is an appropriately bleak atmosphere of seventies cheapskate nihilism running through it.
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  #45434  
Old 13th February 2018, 02:51 PM
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I watched '50 Shades Of Grey' earlier. Well, I say I watched it - I actually lasted about 40 minutes before I turned it off

To describe it as 'abysmal' and 'pitiful' would be doing it a favour. It certainly is a poor film!

It is badly miscast. For a film that is supposed to be an erotic romance, Jamie Dornan (Christian Grey) and Dakota Johnson (Anastacia Steele) are incredibly plain, and nowhere as near glamorous as they needed to be. There is absolutely no sexual tension or (more importantly) chemistry between the two characters. I had to be told that Anastacia had fallen in love with Christian because I certainly didn't see it on the screen

But even a film with hideous acting, directing, editing and storyline can be saved by believable dialogue right?

Check out this laff riot:

Christian: It's just behind this door.
Anastasia: What is?
Christian: My playroom.
Anastasia: Like your Xbox and stuff?

Anastasia: You're a sadist?
Christian: I'm a dominant.
Anastasia: What is that mean?
Christian: It means that I want you to willingly surrender yourself to me.
Anastasia: Why would I do that?
Christian: To please me.
Anastasia: To please you? How?
Christian: I have rules. If you follow them, I'll reward you. If you don't, I'll punish you.
Anastasia: What can I get out of this?
Christian: Me.

Anastasia: Also, on page 5 there are some terms which need clarification. Suspension?
Christian: Hanging on ropes from the ceiling.
Anastasia: For what possible reason?
Christian: For your pleasure.
Anastasia: Really?
Christian: And mine. Something to consider.

And when we got to the classic

Anastacia: Do you want to make love to me?
Christian: I don't make love. I f**k... hard.

I had had enough and stopped my suffering to save my sanity!
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  #45435  
Old 13th February 2018, 02:55 PM
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I took one for the team and watched that with my girlfriend when it came out, thankfully we both hated it meaning I’ve not had to suffer the sequels, awful film in every way!
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  #45436  
Old 13th February 2018, 03:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rik View Post
I took one for the team and watched that with my girlfriend when it came out, thankfully we both hated it meaning I’ve not had to suffer the sequels, awful film in every way!
The Blu-Ray was a pound in poundland

That's the only reason I got it!
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  #45437  
Old 13th February 2018, 03:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Susan Foreman View Post
Christian: It's just behind this door.
Anastasia: What is?
Christian: My playroom.
Anastasia: Like your Xbox and stuff?
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  #45438  
Old 13th February 2018, 03:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Susan Foreman View Post
The Blu-Ray was a pound in poundland

That's the only reason I got it!
You'd have been better getting tomatoes; more juice squirts out than that pile of drock.

Sorry

Sent from my PRA-LX1 using Tapatalk
Rik, keirarts and Heisenberg like this.
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  #45439  
Old 13th February 2018, 03:40 PM
keirarts's Avatar
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I bought 50 shades of grey for 99p in a charity shop the week of release. Flipped it on Amazon for a lot more. Watched it out of curiosity and had to turn it off. Has it ever explained how grey made his money? The film took great pains (pardon the pun) to stress it was hard work and definitely not luck in any way. But I don't recall it ever saying what his business was. The whole thing stunk of some vapid morons pipe dreams of getting wealth and power without having to do anything to get it.
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  #45440  
Old 13th February 2018, 04:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Susan Foreman View Post
I watched '50 Shades Of Grey' earlier. Well, I say I watched it - I actually lasted about 40 minutes before I turned it off

To describe it as 'abysmal' and 'pitiful' would be doing it a favour. It certainly is a poor film!

It is badly miscast. For a film that is supposed to be an erotic romance, Jamie Dornan (Christian Grey) and Dakota Johnson (Anastacia Steele) are incredibly plain, and nowhere as near glamorous as they needed to be. There is absolutely no sexual tension or (more importantly) chemistry between the two characters. I had to be told that Anastacia had fallen in love with Christian because I certainly didn't see it on the screen

But even a film with hideous acting, directing, editing and storyline can be saved by believable dialogue right?

Check out this laff riot:

Christian: It's just behind this door.
Anastasia: What is?
Christian: My playroom.
Anastasia: Like your Xbox and stuff?

Anastasia: You're a sadist?
Christian: I'm a dominant.
Anastasia: What is that mean?
Christian: It means that I want you to willingly surrender yourself to me.
Anastasia: Why would I do that?
Christian: To please me.
Anastasia: To please you? How?
Christian: I have rules. If you follow them, I'll reward you. If you don't, I'll punish you.
Anastasia: What can I get out of this?
Christian: Me.

Anastasia: Also, on page 5 there are some terms which need clarification. Suspension?
Christian: Hanging on ropes from the ceiling.
Anastasia: For what possible reason?
Christian: For your pleasure.
Anastasia: Really?
Christian: And mine. Something to consider.

And when we got to the classic

Anastacia: Do you want to make love to me?
Christian: I don't make love. I f**k... hard.

I had had enough and stopped my suffering to save my sanity!
The fact you even thought about watching any of these
you should hang your head in shame and be banned from here until you apologise. .
I'm safe because my misses hates any type of ROM com or chick flick and said I've to slap her and give her head a shake if she ever went down that route.
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