What Films Have You Seen Recently?

[Paul Zombie]

Marked For Death.

John Hatcher(Steven Seagal) is a DEA agent who announces his retirement after his partner gets killed in a drugs bust in Columbia. and he decides to move back to his home town and visit his sister. But his quiet life dosent last long when he crosses a bunch of Jamaican drug dealers led by one seriously strange chap called Screwface, who marks Seagal and his family for death.

made in 1990, this was when Seagal still used to make decent films that were worth watching, until he started going straight to dvd and piling on the pounds and wearing unconvincing wigs.
okay,he was never going to win any awards for his acting ability even in his best efforts, but the action in his early films was brutal and relentless. and this one really shows him at his best with shoot outs, car chases, broken limbs, eye gouging, sword fights and head chopping.And funny dialogue as well when after he shoots a crook and the other jumps out of a window, he says to his partner, One thought he was invincible, the other thought he could fly. But they were both wrong.

top old school action film that i definitely recommend, that even throws in some voodoo as well, and i give it 84.5 out of 100.

[bleakshaun]

Dr Moreau's House of Pain
A boxer and his friends are investigating the disappearance of his brother and it leads to them following a stripper after she smashes her fist through a gangsters head. It leads to them being kidnapped by a manimal. Now they have to escape.
Em......? I ain't got a damn scooby what I just watched, some boobs; alright make up (for a Charles Band movie). **** it, it was only 50p, so it's fine.


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[Demoncrat]

Ooh I'm sure I got that attached to a certain magazine

[bleakshaun]

Originally Posted by Demoncrat

Ooh I'm sure I got that attached to a certain magazine

Starburst? (note just realised how stupid I was). Dark Side?

[Demoncrat]

Video World?

I'm looking for it as I type



He's Out There.
Decent if predictable thriller.

[nosferatu42]

Ball-sacks and Bolognese..

I always want to drop some sort of in-depth review on here for the films i peruse, like back in the day when i didn't drink as much and could string a few sentences together and could be arsed.

Nevermind here's the latest round up of ptish and fish.

Captain Sinbad

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Not a Harryhausen masterpiece but still a very entertaining and colourful film, saw this on T.V as a kid and it always stuck with me through the Sinbad years of my youth.

I watched it a few weeks ago and all i remember is a wizard with extendable arms and a beating heart at the top of a tower, still i would recommend it to Sinbad fans although don't expect the usual stop motion extravaganza, but still it is definitely worth a watch.

7/10


Buck Rogers - Theatrical version

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Still ridiculously entertaining stupidity,that has got better over time like a fine wine or something and actually seems to hold up pretty well compared to Sci-fi of the time.
Thoroughly enjoyable with some choice disco moves.
8/10

Sapphire and Steel - !st Assignment

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Some mental headf*ckery about some kids parents disappearing, nursery rhymes and a link to a time corridor or some such shite.

No budget twaddle that is overlong and slow as a turtle nailed to a doorstop.

But yet somehow it is turned into T.V gold with the mere presence of a young Joanna Lumley with blue glowing eyes.

Was way too long but i couldn't stop watching.
A masterclass in how to make compelling T.V out of some chewing gum, sticky tape and a torch.

8/10

Attack of the 50 foot woman.

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I can't remember a whole lot about this except it was cheesy and enjoyable and actually a lot better made than i expected, with an actual story that someone thunk up.

7/10

House of Mortal Sin

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A Peter Walker effort, i like his stuff so found it entertaining.
A sly vicious underhanded evil killer priest bastard (the usual then ) is freaking out some young girl, i can't remember much else but i was entertained and slightly disturbed. recommended and unexpected.

7/10

[nosferatu42]

And still checking out some rare stuff on the Amazon prime trial.

*Psyched by the 4D witch.

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I can't really honestly recommend this film to any sane person but i thoroughly enjoyed it. Some virgin sexpot get's tricked by a witch into trying to shag anything that moves with the tagline of "let's fantasy F*ck" or something.
Bad wigs, bad dialogue that is pretty hilarious, overlaid with a hell of a lot of bad psychedelic fuzzed up imagery.
One of a kind.
I really enjoyed it... but then again i would.
8/10

-

*Raiders of Atlantis./Atlantis interceptors

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First time watch for this Deodato cheese-fest and i found it to be a total hodgepodge cut-up-f*ck-up of a lot of better films. Didn't make a blind bit of sense but was carried along by a barrage of explosive action and pathetic dialogue.

An enjoyable 6.5/10

-

*Weekend murders

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More Amazon obscurities...

A bizarre film that is somewhere between an Agatha christie murder mystery and a giallo, a foreign production shot somewhere in England, that features scenes of a black gloved maniac with psychological issues but in the end ends up closer to a traditional British murder mystery.

But that's not all, there is a lot of humour in this film and some Euro style direction, which really cements this as a hybrid concoction.
I really enjoyed it, i would say it is very restrained in the traditional boobs and bloodletting element Giallo wise, but is well worth a watch.

I really enjoyed the rural P.C who everyone thinks is an idiot but is really on the ball. Solid entertainment. Recommended.

8/10

[iank]

While You Were Sleeping. Mildly amusing mid 90s romantic comedy. Bullock is the best thing about it. The Friends version was funnier, though.

[Demoncrat]

Likes for nos!!

[Demoncrat]

The Vampire Lovers (1970, Roy Ward Baker)

Hammer goes all booby with this colourless adaptation of Sheridan Le Fanu's tale. Inkgrid Pitt is welcomed into various unsuspecting households, where she practises the ancient art of pouting in slow motion. And wearing a rug.
Look, I've never really cared for this one. George Cole??
PC looks tired and all. Twins Of Evil towers over this flick. In fact,
.. where's it at