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  #59671  
Old 17th December 2022, 11:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Frankie Teardrop View Post
There's a nice bit with a crazed Santa in a shoot-out.
I really don't remember any of it other than i didn't think much of the sequels.
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  #59672  
Old 17th December 2022, 12:25 PM
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Satanic Panic (2019)

A really enjoyable horror(Black) comedy romp about a pizza delivery girl who ends up at a wealthy mansion who unfortunately for her are a coven of Satan worshipers (Led by the excellent Rebecca Romijn) on the look out for a female virgin to offer to Baphomet as that have just lost theirs.

A hell of a lot of fun, although not remotely scary or tense in any way. Some of director Chelsea Stardust's imagery is phenomenal such as the satanists themselves with their blood red gowns which are brilliantly striking against the twinkly lit backdrops of the mansion.

The humour is very much of a female centric nature - I guess it would be when all but the short lived Jerry O' Connell and Jeff Daniel Phillips are female - but the dialogue is largely excellent with Romijn sparring with fellow worshiper Arden Myrin a highlight. In her debut role Hayley Griffith as the pizza girl was terrific with so many catty put downs sent in her direction.

The gore on show is great even if parts of the film are a bit uneven and there's no way the demon stalking the crowd at the end was Baphomet either.

I'm pleased i got round to watching this as cousin Jim* and i had a pretty good time with it all told.

*Perhaps watching this with Auntie H2O wouldn't have been just as much fun.
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  #59673  
Old 17th December 2022, 05:01 PM
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TRANCERS – Picked up a sort-of old fave and realised I’d inadvertently hit on a Christmas movie. Twenty-third century gumshoe Jack Deth slips ‘down the line’ to mid-eighties LA, where a sinister bad guy is messing with the future. A nice, solid B with all the era-specific turkey and trimmings, including a constant neon and palm trees vibe. One slight bit of trivia of interest only to me is that I always think ‘Trancers’ features a cameo from The Exploited as the band in the punk club, but when I watch it I realise it’s someone else. Being wrong sucks. Anyway, the ending feels rushed and a bit fumbled but doesn’t really make this anything other than an enjoyable romp.

THE MEATEATER – Every shoe salesman must dream of opening their own movie theatre – but not one that comes with its very own ‘Phantom Of The Opera’ clone, right? A cheapo indie from the late seventies that’s bad in a way you couldn’t carry off nowadays. If you dig that kind of thing, there’s plenty to like; inky shadow vibes, baffling edits and odd camera moves all have their magic. You could also overlook the flat acting and constantly bungled scenes in favour of quirks such as the avalanche of references to meat snacks (don’t expect cannibalism, this one’s in it for the hot dogs) and the fact that the cinema only ever plays a documentary about animals shagging and eating each other to a tranced-out audience who giggle like they’re in someone’s dream. It must all be a metaphor for… something. When the meat eater appears, he looks distressingly like Jimmy Saville! ‘Off’ enough to invite but not weird enough to excite; the creaky regionalism charms on a level with, say, something like ‘Toxic Zombies’, but doesn’t quite reach the sinister strangeness of Don Dohler’s similarly semi-competent ‘The Fiend’.

HIGH DESERT KILL – Some guys are on a desert hunting trip to commemorate their dearly departed best mate. After a while their macho antics start getting weird and a bit dangerous; an alien presence might be involved. ‘High Desert Kill’ is actually a late eighties TV movie that cribs from era mainstays in ways that are awkward and quite interesting. ‘Predator’ as a metaphor for grief? It just doesn’t happen. I guess the desert setting lays on a bit of atmosphere, and there are some nicely eerie stretches, particularly when they all start going a bit mad. A few lulls, although the TV flatness was less in evidence than expected, and in looks and tone it reminded me of a direct-to-video work from around the time more than anything else. Enjoyable. Chuck Connors always gets a thumbs up from me.


L
O
V
E

HDK btw. Kudos as always sir. REWATCH.
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  #59674  
Old 17th December 2022, 10:10 PM
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The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)

An ambitious take on Alan Moore's Victorian fantasy which brings literary heroes and villains from the period together to save the world from a megalomaniac and his small army.

We have Sean Connery as Allan Quatermain, Stuart Townsend as Dorian Gray, Peta Wilson as Mina Harker, Jason Flemying as Henry Jekyll / Edward Hyde, Nasseeriddin Shah as Captain Nemo, Tony Curran as the Invisible Man and Shane West as the American agent Tom Sawyer. Anyone familiar with literature of the period should be able to work out who Richard Roxburgh's main villain 'M' is.

Although one or two of the special effects are a bit ropey the whole thing is a fantastic concept mixing Victoriana with Steam Punk and for me it really works. It's fast paced, littered with clever and witty dialogue and on the whole is quite a spectacle, especially Nemo's huge submarine Nautilus in Venice.
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  #59675  
Old 18th December 2022, 09:41 AM
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Roots Of Evil (1979, Christian Anders)

A hoot. When an uptight short arse heroin dealer wants you to move out so he can move in, what's a man to do but start kicking folk left, right and centre?
There's just something not quite right with this one (TF). Yes, the stilted dialogue and ropey action scenes are in place natch. It's the lead, he personifies vapid. Lawdy. Great ending though.


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  #59676  
Old 18th December 2022, 11:59 AM
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Death Screams (1982)

"The last scream you hear...Is your own" goes the tag line for this regional slasher.

Too f*cking right! I was screaming out of boredom.

The first seventy minutes of this 89 minute film play out as a look at life in regional America as we are treated to life at school, life at the coffee shop and life at the carnival and it's tedious as hell. When we get some slashing during the final ten minutes it all feels so rushed and cheap and worst of all relatively blood free.

I usually try an enjoy low budget regional horror, both old and new, if i can but this was simply too much.

To sit through this again i'd need my uncle Jack, cousins Jim and Johnny and probably even old Captain Morgan from down the docks by my side.
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  #59677  
Old 18th December 2022, 07:25 PM
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Ninja Powerforce (1986, Joseph Lai)

Reuniting with an old love whilst investigating ne'r do wells?
I feel I have to watch this one again. I paid attention, but twas the overriding feeling that I was watching three movies stitched together that was strong with this one. Harrison clean shaven and all!! Lawdy. The kicking was quite brutal this time all told. Lawdy.


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Last edited by Demoncrat; 18th December 2022 at 10:14 PM.
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  #59678  
Old 18th December 2022, 08:30 PM
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Assault. A schoolgirl is raped by an unknown attacker, putting the local community on high alert. When the next attack occurs, it's murder - but this time there's a witness in the form of the girl's teacher, who volunteers herself as bait to catch the killer. Frank Finlay stars in this early 70s British thriller that has elements of the Italian giallo genre to it and a fine supporting cast including Tony Beckley and Anthony Ainley! (Honestly when the cast came up I saw Beckley's name and immediatley thought "it's him!" ) But they point the finger at him so early and so strongly I knew it wasn't going to be. Pretty good.
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  #59679  
Old 18th December 2022, 10:12 PM
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Underground Wife (1982, Yu-Lung hsu)

This is getting a blu ray? GIES.
Crazed Indo rape revenger.
The print I perused was shall we say, Escher like in presentation, the 4:3 crop adding to the general mayhem in fact.
Recofrickingcockadoodiemended.
Ahem.
A maiden becomes entangled with rum sorts. Her journey to self discovery is a bumpy ride.
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  #59680  
Old 19th December 2022, 10:35 AM
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Avatar:Way of the water.

well lets get the only positive out of the way, it looks amazing and should be seen on the biggest screen possible but thats its only good point, it shallow as a tide pool with a boring cringe story that puts the BBC shame with its agenda and unlikable characters
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