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I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE (1943)

There was a family that lived on the isle
Of Saint Sebastian a long, long while
The head of the family was a Holland man
And the younger brother, his name was Rand

Ah, woe! Ah, me!
Shame and sorrow for the family

The Holland man, he kept in a tower
A wife as pretty as a big white flower
She saw the brother and she stole his heart
And that's how the badness and the trouble start

Ah, woe! Ah, me!
Shame and sorrow for the family

The wife and the brother they want to go
But the Holland man, he tell them no
The wife fall down and the evil came
And it burned her mind in the fever flame

Ah, woe! Ah, me!
Shame and sorrow for the family

Her eyes are empty and she cannot talk
And the nurse has come to make her walk
The brothers are lonely and the nurse is young
And now you must see that my song is sung

Ah, woe! Ah, me!
Shame and sorrow for the family
Ah, woe! Ah, me!
Shame and sorrow for the family

:peace: I thank you !

Of course i'd be more impressed if you were walking the streets of St Sebastian singing and playing your guitar.

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4.2/10


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6/10


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8/10

Next up

The dunwich horror (2009)

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Finished dunwich horror and expected a lot more with Stockwell and Combs but both gave very poor performances and seemed bored and that they didn't want to be their which I coudn't blame them with the poor script, acting and special effects. 4/10

DEATHGASM

Peter Jackson dreams of Nordy.

American Ninja 3

No more Dudikoff instead we get David Bradley as Sean Davidson, another American with Ninja training. The only real link to one and two is Steve James as Curtis Jackson who once again kicks ass and steals the show. Its all so silly the Power rangers comparisons are not unfair, with another ludicrous Bond villain in play and some nifty pre-mission impossible face mask stunts.

American Ninja 4

Dudikoff returns and teams up with David Bradley to take out a ruthless islamic terrorist bent on making an atomic bomb. At this point you know what to expect however this one throws some added sadism into some of the scenes. Its still a lot of fun and better than its reputation suggests but at this point I'm not about to go hunting part 5 on youtube.


Avenging force

Made between American Ninja 1 + 2 with Dudikoff and James reuniting with director Sam Firstenberg for a new orleans based action thriller with overtones of the most dangerous game. James plays a senate candidate who becomes a target for right wing extremists, Dudikoff plays his friend and ex secret service agent who ends up having to fight the group.
Actually miles better than any of the American Ninja films this one is a solid, no-nonsense action thriller that's well written and shot. Dudikoff actually gets to act and the fights are way more brutal than any of the scenes in the Ninja series. This one is highly recommended.

THE TOOLBOX MURDERS 2: COFFIN BABY – A sequel, of sorts, to the 'Toolbox Box Murders' remake. I saw that remake, and I thought it was shite. Tobe, I threw my DVD in the bin, and I don't often do that. 'Coffin Baby' is very different however. It's basically a minimalist gore fest and, as far as story goes, is really just about a captive woman who is forced to behold various mutilations and acts of splatter visited upon the victims of a masked killer at work in his lair. Oh, and Bruce Dern is around for some reason – can't be sure, but he appears to be a slightly rude ghost. 'Coffin Baby' really sets itself up to be trashed by whoever officially reviews movies these days because it's just so shameless and unembarrassed about what it is, namely, eighty minutes of voyeuristic brutality and bloodshed interspersed with bits of relative tedium and attempts at arty lighting. Torture porn be damned, I really liked it. You'd think that countless movies like this were being made in the name of latter day exploitation, but when one comes along it actually feels a bit special. OK, you'll have seen far 'better' gore in other places – the splatter here is frequent, but not overly intense or transgressive, and it's not sleazy particularly. Some bits made me chuckle, like the bit where captive lady is given a tub of popcorn to accompany her murder vigil – sorry, 'self reflexive' isn't your style, dudes. In another scene, murderer guy is harassed by captive lady over a remote control and gets so pissed off with her that he cuts her hand off! Lolz. And the best line goes to the cop who yanks a tattered sausage from between the jaws of a corpse - “Imagine being in such pain that you bite your own dick off.” Anyway, I could go on. See it if you're interested, or if you want to check out discredited former horror journo Lianne Spiderbaby in a small role.

I inadvertently had a sexual health double bill last night. First up;

Chemsex (2015)

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This was an eye opener! Produced by the people at Vice magazine, a documentary charting the current sexual health crisis among gay men in London and the new craze of Chemsex which is essentially using drugs such as Crystal Meth and having sex, often with multiple partners. This was highly disturbing in it's frankness and while I was aware this goes on I didn't really know the extent. Very troubling subject matter. Especially discussions of HIV and status, it seems that the people who do this sort of thing are of the mind that you should just 'get it out of the way' and sleep with someone positive because you're probably going to get it at some point anyway!

That Kind Of Girl (1963)

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I followed that with a swinging 60's cautionary tale of catching syphilis which follows Eva an Au Pair from Austria who goes from virginal maid to having 3 sexual partners in the space of 10 minutes! She gets the clap from the first and gives it to the other 2 one of whom gives it to his pregnant girlfiend... oops...
Not entirely successful and it feels like 2 films bolted together but the cast is great and the soundtrack is exciting and I enjoyed the CND march on one of the Nuclear Testing facilities as it was an actual demonstration which the film makers went along to in order to save money paying for extras!

Worth watching, just not great!

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BITE THE BULLET (1975)

Enjoyable western which revolves around a 700mile horse race.The race brings in people from various backgrounds and they learn about each others lives as the film runs. The movie follows their adventures and heart aches across some superb locations.

Hail, Caesar! (2016) - 4/5

I'll probably need another viewing to completely get to grips with the intricacies of the plot but I got most of it and its subtext - another intelligent, stylish, and funny film from the Coen bros! Would have liked Scarlett to have been in it more, and man Channing Tatum has improved so much.

Jan Michael Vincent punching horses in the head left a sour taste with that film. Tosser!

Im hoping to see this tomorrow after work! :pop2:

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Enjoyable Classic Disney that looks fantastic on blu ray, the animation might be simple by today's standards but I found it had a certain charm that fitted the film and made it more interesting looking than a lot of modern animated films. Mind the prince was next too useless without the fairies and I can't understand why they didn't just use the sword a lot earlier. But I suppose that wouldn't show us that true love is the most powerful magic of all 8/10

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Excellent live action version of the Cinderella story that for me worked better than the animated classic thanks to a good cast and direction. I thought maleficent was a slightly better movie, with it being done from maleficents point of view and her be more complex Than the evil character we know. 7.9/10

Now watching

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Which will be followed by

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NINJA VENGEANCE

A small town is dominated by it's brutal police force who also happen to be the local branch of the KKK...a drifter arrives in town skilled in the arts of Ninjutsu..

Fun shite with excessive use of forward rolly pollies. Recommended for those who find the American Ninja films too intellectually challenging.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (2001)

Only the second time i've seen this film. The first was way back when it first hit dvd, fifteen years ago. Although i have all the films except the very last one i can't remember a damned thing about them. I probably nodded through the majority of them the only time i've bothered with them.

You know what? It wasn't bad at all. Some of the effects looked a little dodgy, but i'm not expecting that to be an issue with the other films as this opening chapter made gazilions at the box office so i trust the fx budget went up for subsequent outings.

There's no point going into the plot, it's fairly formulaic anyway, it just seems occasionally unfathomable due to author JK Rowling's bizarre yet daft names of characters and, well, pretty much everything.

A fine cast of Brit thesps ,including Richard Harris and Alan Rickman, give what could have been a minor kids film much needed gravitas and help to ensure i'll be back in the next day or two to watch Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

I 1st saw the film on VHS

What have i seen lately then..
Jeremiah Johnson,
Sidney Pollacks 1972 western stars Robert Redford as an ex soldier who retreats from civilisation and heads into the rocky mountains seeking a life of peace and solitude.
Redfords an actor I've never really taken too, but he's not bad here, the real star is the stunning snowy Utah locations anyway.

The Equalizer

An update of the 80s (?) series I've never actually seen which starred Edward Woodward.
Here Denzel Washington takes over the role of Robert McCall a mysterious retired spy/soldier/intelligence agent. Now living a normal life as a shopworker McCall is spurred into vigilante action when a young hooker (Chloe Grace Moretz) is badly beaten and hospitalized by her Russian pimp. Things spiral and before long McCall finds himself up against a major Russian mob outfit.
I really enjoyed this film and i quite liked that Denzel was pretty much this unstoppable killing machine lurking behind an anonymous everyman exterior. I also like that the film took its time, without out staying it's welcome it managed to fit in a few little subplots further establishing Denzels character.

Just come out of the cinema to see The Coen's Hail Caesar! It was a great film, took a little to get going so I can't give it full marks. Ralph Fiennes and Channing Tatum stole the show and the scene with the sailors was a stand out for me!
Frances McDormand and Scarlet Johansson both deserved much more screen time though!

Going to see the much buzzed about The Witch on Saturday, anyone else seen it yet?

Yeah, I know what you mean. I think most DVD's and TV broadcasts in the U.K are now cut to some extent and also have cuts to horse falls.

Rosewood Lane (2011)

Rose McGowan plays a radio talk show host who moves back into her childhood home following the suspicious death of her father only to find herself seemingly stalked by the local paperboy.

Despite being a familiar subject matter, Rosewood Lane is actually an enjoyable little chiller. McGowan does well in the lead role and the film has some fine scenes of creeping tension. The idea of a malevolent paperboy who maybe isn't quite what he seems was rather interesting even if we aren't actually given any answers by director Victor Salva, though he does like to indulge in the sheer bizarreness of it all including disturbing uses of nursery rhymes.

If you can ignore the fact it was directed by Salva and the ambiguous, what the ****? ending, Rosewood Lane is a half decent thrill ride.

FINAL GIRL

A slight story of vigilantism draped in Lynchian visuals and mockabilly riffs...it is all very vague but not in an interesting way and ultimately goes nowhere as a horror film nor as the arts**** oddity it wants to be. That said, I loved the training for combat scenes that are spectacular in their limpness and general feeling of can't be arsed.

I really liked it, but I could tell that it was the sort of film that diminishes after a couple of watches (maybe even gets a bit irritating). There were a few genuinely rubbish bits in it, like the hallucinations which looked like they'd been designed by a three year old.

Although i quite enjoyed it, just like Under the Skin (2013), i knew it was a film i was only going to watch once, so off to CEX it went whilst it still had some cash value.

They are pretty poor, I presumed they where actual flashbacks from Wes Bentley's crack years. I did like the lack of explanation and sub plots but found it over long for such a simple story. I also wanted more violence.

99p rental from Amazon for me!

Crow Hollow (1952)

Ann, a newly wed and her husband, Robert, a doctor, goes to live on his family estate, the beautifully named Crow Hollow. Surprisingly for Ann, Robert's three aunts also live there. As odd things begin to occur, Ann starts to believe someone is intent on killing her.

A delightful British oddity where everyone speaks clipped English and no one could possibly be a wrong doer. Except it's plain as soon as we meet the aunts they aren't quite what they appear.

Crow Hollow is practically a forgotten film, very much of it's time. Although it has a quaint Gothic air to it, the film falls far short of what Hammer would produce just five years later.

Natasha Parry plays the vulnerable new bride Ann and gives a convincing performance. The sense of unease gradually creeping over her much as it does the viewer. Fortunately the film is well acted by all as the script is rather talky and truth be told not an awful lot happens...just the odd murder, you know. For an unknown film it has a surprisingly good cast including Donald Houston and soon to be Mina Harker, Melissa Stribling.

The film title is very much lived up to. Legend has it the crows only appear when bad things happen at Crow Hollow, therefore the film begins birdless but as the murder plot thickens the crows return and you can hear them constantly on the soundtrack until it's almost a cacophony from the trees in the final reels.

It's perhaps not a film i can recommend, although i do like it. You'll know if this is the sort of film you'd get anything out of i suspect.This was the fourth time i've visited Crow Hollow and it seems to grow on me more with each viewing.

The dvd from Simply Media, where it is double billed with the equally quaint Gothic chiller Castle Sinister (1948), has been lovingly restored for both sound and picture quality.

Saw 10 Cloverfield Lane today. Enjoyable suspense thriller. It's fairly loosely linked to the original, and anyone expecting a monster movie is for a big disappointment lol! It's really more of a psycho thriller in unusual circumstances, with John Goodman in terrific, intimidating and unpredictable form. Pretty good. :)

Incredibly p*****d off that my local VUE is not showing Hail Caesar. We are getting the new Divergent film and they are keeping on Dad's Army and Grimsby which tells you all you need to know about the viewing habits in Barrow-in-Furness. :rolleyes:

River of death

Ending up in my cannon films pile in error, its actually a Harry allan Towers production, this is an adaptation of an Alistair Maclean novel. Robert Vaughn is a brutal Nazi doctor in the Josef Mengele mould who escapes at the end of WWII screwing over a fellow Nazi, played by Donald Plesance. Some years later Michael Dudikoff is an adventurer who botches an expedition into the rainforests with a doctor and his daughter investigating a mystery illness. Abandoning them to the natives he's racked with guilt and decides to mount a rescue operation. He finds funding for the trip from Plesance who has since become a major businessman in south America. Accompanied by a number of interested parties, including two mossad agents, they make their way into the wilderness to locate the Nazi doctor.
Mixing up 80's adventure pictures with Heart of Darkness, River of death is a fun film. A little silly, with some major plot holes (including why no one has noticed a major south American business mogul with a penchant for German musical theatre is a spitting image of a prominent Nazi who ran a death camp). Dudikoff gets to actually act again and isn't bad. The whole film isn't as much fun as avenging force but is still worth checking out.

It's not coming to my local this week, hopefully it'll be next week because i'm really looking forward to it.

I watched Noah with Russell Crowe, Ray Winstone and Anthony Hopkins on Netflix and rather enjoyed it. :)

Haven't done this for quite some time, so to make up for it here's the last 20!

Eugenie... the Story of Her Journey Into Perversion (1970)

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Starting my Franco odyssey with this little oddity! Poor Eugenie, invited to stay on a secluded island by a hot woman, I can't remember if a reason was given! Seduction and a false sense of security follow until a grisly end... Very entertaining I have to say. Took me a while to get used to everything going out of focus every time the camera moved and sometimes for no reason at all - I put it down to being the 'dreamlike state' of the film over all.

Nightmare City (1980)

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I watched the damaged print version on the Arrow disc, first 10 minutes are a bit ropey and then it settles down fine until the end when it goes crazy again. I feel that's better than watching the softer version.
Never seen this one before but the ending has been long spoiled for me so there were no surprises there!
Great action flick, well made and suspenseful. I'm not sure why the zombies/infected were so horny though chasing after woman and tearing their clothes off!
Best bits for me were "So we're following emergency plan H, we'll keep plan B for a backup" ....what :lol: and the bit where the surgeon throws the scalpel :lol: YES! haha great fun.

Enter the Ninja

Franco Nero graduates Ninja school and heads off to meet up with his old war buddy. As an added bonus he discovers his old mate is married to Susan George who spends most of the film in loose tops. Before you can say Jiggle, he discovers his old mate is in some difficulties with a local mobster with a hook hand. Nero gives him a bit of a slap down and everything seems to be fine. Unfortunately hook-boy works for a nutty criminal overlord played with insane glee by Christopher George, who in-between organising synchronised swimming displays is busy trying to secure the land Francos pal owns. Realising he'll need a bit more fire-power he hires Nero's rival Sho Kosugi to take care of business.
Directed by Menahem Golan, who seems to be a Ninja enthusiast, Enter the Ninja plays more like an old school revenge western, hence perhaps the hiring of Franco Nero. In all honesty Nero feels a little miscast but it's forgiveable as some pacing issues aside the whole affair is gleefully insane and plenty of fun. Watch the American release and there is some Random cock-fighting that the film could easily lose and not suffer, it might even improve the films pacing. Overall its daft, but lots of fun.

Revenge of the ninja

not even remotely a sequel, the film is more of a total overhaul of the Ninja film concept for Cannon films. Hiring Sho Kosugi was a good start, he's great, especially in action scenes and the whole affair works better thanks to Sam 'American Ninja' Firstenberg who had his action début with this film. Its weird that this is is first film as it has some of his best orchestrated action scenes.
The plot itself is fairly straightforward, Sho flees west with his son and mum after the rest of the family is butchered by ninja. He opens a gallery dedicated to Japanese art, unaware its a front for Heroin dealing. This leads him into conflict against a criminal gang, and a rival master ninja.
Its great fun, including a barmy end fight scene atop a skyscraper. Theres plenty of violence and the film is well paced. Overall its a better sequel and highly recommended.

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What great fun this movie is. I thought I would just check it out, not expecting much. Glad I did because I enjoyed this zombie romp.
Three scouts and a stripper find themselves the only ones in the town alive and band together using all their skills to take on the undead horde...
Some good comic moments, excellent gore scenes and great looking girl with a shotgun. What more could you ask ?

Monster Hunter.

This evening my missus tried her old trick of picking a film to watch she thought i might fancy so's i don't go sloping of to my den in peace.
Not necessarily a bad thing except she then falls asleep halfway and snores over the top of it anyway so i can't hear the bloody thing.
Anyway tonight's pick was a flick called Monster Hunter from NowTV. For some reason this has previously been released under the less corny though decidedly more ambiguous title of Dark Was The Night.
Kevin Durand (the Russian exterminator dude from tv's The Strain?) is the sheriff of the small rural town of Maiden Woods, a town that wakes up one morning to find strange non human footprints running right the way through their little hamlet and off into the woods. Before long farm animals start to go missing and then the strange sightings start.
Finally its dismembered bodies in the forest time and the sheriff and his new deputy Lukas Haas have to defend the town from forces unknown while trying to battle their own personal demons.
I quite enjoyed this little film, Kevin Durand is surprisingly good in a role that required a bit more emoting than I've seen from him before. And the rest of the cast including Jim Mickle regular Nick Damici put in decent performances.
Its clearly a b-picture so effects are a bit ropey but the whole thing works quite well i thought thanks to the slow burner character building approach taken.
As long as you don't go in expecting too much I'd recommend this one.

Oh and i watched the Lou Ferrigno film Hercules...
...erm...
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WITCHBOARD – Comes from the director of 'Night of the Demons', Kevin Tenney, although it's quite different in tone. In it, Tawny Kitaen plays the bored wife of a medical school drop out who gets into messing with a Ouija board left behind after a disastrous house party. She contacts what she thinks is the spirit of a little boy, who starts to cause some mischief – like killing hubbie's work colleagues and basically trying to possess her. Hubby does the manly thing and teams up with an ex chum to sort things out. 'Witchboard' goes for atmosphere over eighties schlock and manages quite well for some of the time. There are sequences which feel quite tense, despite being 'horror basics' – the bird's eye view shot circling a room conjures a spirit vibe, despite it just being a camera move etc. It falls down when it has to face those aspects it can't embrace ie aspects of eighties cheese like the ditzy medium and the whole 'buddies on the road' thing later on in the film. But, for a film with quite a lot of talk, 'Witchboard' is pretty absorbing and entertaining.

MURDER-ROCK – Once again I come round to reviewing a lesser Fulci flick, and once again I'm baffled as to why I hold this end of his stuff in such high regard. Over-stylised eighties hell 'Murder-rock' is a last gasp Giallo / slasher set in a 'Fame' style New York dance academy. Someone's going around offing legs and co by skewering their breasts with a long needle. Unlikeable, slightly snappy dance teacher takes centre stage to solve mystery etc etc. Although it's not very good, of course I lapped 'Murderrock' up. It has that mixture of rank awfulness and style that I see as the hallmark of Fulci – a collision of sweaty, leering dance sequences soundtracked by catchy hits such as 'Paranoia's Coming Your Way' and artfully elegant shots such as the one which follows a body on a gurney down a corridor, passing each suspect's face in turn. Class and tastelessness, that to me is Fulci. And of course there's those stock in trade heavy close ups around the eyes and weird field reversals. The plot may be bland but the resolution is psychotic, and the film is full of eccentric characters and events, from the little girl in the wheelchair to the bitter dude with the metal foot. And of course there's that pungent but difficult to 'pin' Fulci atmosphere. See it, and squirm your way through those skewerings, the awful music and that whole 'Hot Shoe Show' travesty thing.

:lol: I truly prefer this to most of his work. :peep:

It has a sort of salacious, tasteless style to it that i can't place anywhere else.

I'm at least half way with you on that, man. A lot of his less well regarded stuff just has this over-ripe, mad atmosphere - 'Conquest', for example, which for some godforsaken reason is my fave from this period. Although as someone who sees 'Cat In The Brain' as the pinnacle of his career, maybe I'm not qualified to talk.

London Has Fallen

With less CGI and a more physically imposing antagonist, this would be a bona fide modern day Cannon production.

Just the kind of senselessly violent (and bromantic) cheeseburger movie that gives me a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

I love Zombie Flesh Eaters, and i think i always will. The first time i saw it age 14, i was eating beans on toast and almost vomited when Auretta Gay get's her throat bitten out.

Films like The Beyond and House by the Cemetery, i loved earlier on in life but have since fallen out with them in recent years. Preferring the likes of Cat in the Brain, Murder Rock and Perversion Story.

I don't feel the majority of his so called fan faves stand up to much scrutiny or oft-repeated viewings. City of the Living Dead seems to grow on me more and more though. Maybe because it's so disjointed.