What?....You mean it's not real? :axekiller: :nono:

THE CHILD – Watching a movie like 'The Child' brings home just how bland and ordinary most genre fodder is these days (and back then, too – late seventies in this case). It's about a babysitter who starts a job in a household where an obnoxious little girl has psychic powers and is mates with a bunch of zombies. So much for the 'story', but really, with 'The Child', we're in a place where narrative merely pegs up more important qualities like tone and feel. Nothing about 'The Child' is normal. It makes you wonder what the makers were going for, because intent is hard to gauge in a film where artiness and ineptitude seem to walk hand in hand. Deliberately skewed shots give way to badly composed ones. Lines of dialogue feel stilted and alien (it was post dubbed). Everywhere is smothered in mist and fog. Random freakiness bursts out at the drop of a hat – a jack'o lantern makes like it might be evil, but then doesn't do anything, someone dances with a scarecrow in a dream, zombies crop up apropos of nothing and lay on a sprinkling of primitive gore. The atmosphere, omnipresent and as charged as the air before a storm, truly has the unhinged quality of a slow motion fever dream. Do yourselves a favour and watch 'The Child'. It's a grainy masterclass in disjointed grindhouse murkiness.

THE DEATH WISH CLUB – Fans of 'Night Train to Terror' (they do exist) may recall one of the badly edited and typically ludicrous segments being about a game of Russian Roulette involving a deadly insect and some bad special fx. Well, that was a minature version of the film now under discussion, 'The Death Wish Club', a truly remarkable and sui generis flick from the early eighties. I can't really summarise it to be honest, although there is a straightforward narrative of sorts. I guess it's a kind of surrealist sex comedy with a bizarro horror undercurrent, albeit without much sex, much horror or that much comedy (although parts of it are pretty funny). In essence, it's about college dude Greg who falls in love with a porno actress called Greta after watching a stag reel. He tracks her down, only to find that George, her possessive and slightly psychopathic lover, is in the way of things. More complications arise when Greta randomly changes gender, leaving Greg desperate to “win back the real her” (well, it was the eighties, cis- and trans- didn't really figure in these guy's vocabularies back then). On top of all this, there's this club called, yep, 'The Death Wish Club', which is a haven for decadent types who want to push the limits of their own mortality by playing the aforementioned Russian Roulette type games with various implements of human destruction. It all mingles together into one prolonged head scratch. 'The Death Wish Club' has a lopsided atmosphere. It's not stylised, there's cheap naturalism to it so after a while you kind of acclimatise to its odd premise, but every now and again you come out of that and think “what IS this film on about?” It does carry the grainy stench of low, low budget eighties product, and you can hear the room reverb of the dialogue, which gives it a slightly porno-level feel. As an aside, another weird thing about it is that many of the actors look really recognisable to me, but an IMDB search reveals resumes that begin and end with TDWC. Did those involved anonymise their contributions? Is Frankie losing it a bit? Both are equally possible. Anyway, 'The Death Wish Club' is certainly an odd curio and is worth tracking down.

Doubt you like the 50s original much either then Inspector?

I can also recommend The Child. Great review, Frankie. :nod:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSVeDx9fk60

Romantic comedy in which Bill Murray plays a cynical weather man phil conners who is sent to cover the annual groundhog day festival. Things get weird when Phil keeps living groundhog day over and over. He starts out enjoying this as he can do what ever he wants, but as time goes on he grows disenchanted with the endless monotony but love is in the air as he falls for his producer Rita (Andie McDowell). Lots of memorable scenes and great performance from Murray. 9/10


Now watching mark of the devil( what the hells up with the soft porn music)

Me! Me! I love that crazy smorgasborg of shit. No idea The Death Wish Club existed! Where can i track it down, any ideas?

Count me in as a fan of THE CHILD too.

Well, it used to be available on Amazon / ebay fairly cheaply, but a quick check has revealed it to OOP and ££. Also included as an extra on the Vinegar Syndrome 'Night Train to Terror' Blu-ray / DVD set, which is probably still going for a reasonable price. Surprised it's not on YouTube, but a cursory search comes up with nada. Can't find anything else besides, not being acquainted with all the other darkly interweb pockets. Soz, thought it'd be out there and marked down, but it's been ten or so years since I last got a copy.

Incense for the Damned (1970)

In truth, Incense for the Damned is a total mess, but a total mess with some good ideas. Directed and then disowned by Robert Hartford-Davis, a director i admire from his films The Black Torment (1964), Corruption (1968), School for Unclaimed Girls (1969) and The Fiend (1972), his name doesn't appear on the credits, nor as a pseudonym, and when you watch the film you can see why.

It's a film that treats vampirism as a sexual perversion as a young woman searches for her lover, a university student who is seduced into a satanic cult on a Greek island. The film sports a fine cast including Patrick Macnee, Peter Cushing, Edward Woodward, Imogen Hassall, Patrick Mower and Johnny Sekka but pretty much wastes all of them. The film's production was a troubled affair with much of it shot on Cyprus which gives it a unique feel, however money ran out, scenes were dumped and the producers shot new scenes with new actors at a later date.

The odd thing is that i rather enjoyed it second time around. I knew what to expect and the sheer clumsiness of it all had a certain charm that kind of allowed me to have more fun with it this time around.

Full review on The Gothic Thread. https://www.cult-labs.com/forums/mem...tml#post520035

Swamp Ape

A group of students shuffle around under a couple of trees whilst being killed off by a geezer in a monkey suit. Clocking in at under one hour and never taking itself too serious this micro budget film is as cliche ridden as you would expect. That's kind of what I liked about it, there is a uniformity to this sort of bottom rung dreck that means you will never be disappointed when watching them as there are no expectations to overcome.

Prey

A group of twenty somethings run around in the dark whilst being killed off by a goat sucker. As with the above film this is a collection of cliches holding together a slim plot but this film takes itself deadly serious and as such fails to deliver despite its exotic location, great creature effects and technical skills in film making.

Holy Virgin Vs Evil Dead

Excellent Hong Kong fantasy/horror film that never lets up from beginning to end in a martial arts frenzy of fists, feet and dodgy optical effects. Recommended.

Sennentuntsci

Some Alpine goat herders get pissed whilst listening to T Rex and Serge Gainsbourg, make a sex doll from a sack and broom and unleash a vengeful demon!

Swiss made folk horror cum police thriller which is pretty good in a leisurely way as the story and action slowly unfold giving it the feel of a tv detective show as the crimes and investigation play out against some stunning scenery. Worth a look if you have Netflix and enjoy films with folklore at their heart.

Apparently the band The Blue Oyster Cult put forward their song 'Godzilla' to be used as the films theme, but the producers wanted something more contemporary, and they went with the P. Diddy song instead

In response, the BOC took to changing the lyrics of the song when it was performed live. It now went:

"Oh no, say it isn't so
There's no "Godzilla""

and

"Millions spent on special effects
But our tune doesn't get no respect
No no Godzilla"

Sadly, there doesn't seem to be any recordings of this version

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ST80JVlCllo
Enjoyable enough with some gruesome scenes but its been done far better in Witchfinder general. 7/10

Aliens

Where do you go from Ridley Scott's ALIEN? Director James Cameron brings in his fetish for military hardware and long running times and delivers probably his best film. Certainly the absolute refusal to do a 'slasher sequel' and repeat the previous film is smart, and while some of Cameron's lengthier films can end up being drags ***coughAvatarTitanicandthe abysscough** this one actually benefits from watching the extended directors cut and feels like a more intense movie.

Alien 3

This one gets quite a bad reception but I like it. Essentially David Fincher, at this point music video director, wanders into a Hollywood mess of epic proportions and realises too late someone has coked themselves into green-lighting a film based on a bunch of ideas that were either too damned expensive or two f****** expensive. The fact that there's any film at all is a goddamn miracle. The fact that somehow the end result, especially the directors cut is a doom laden meditation on faith, mortality and sacrifice thats only really hampered by some crappy effects work and high fan expectations is admirable. That said I can understand why Fincher's second feature was the low budget Seven with a script that was already in place.

Alien resurrection

Can there be a director truley more up his own arse than Jean pierre jeunet. I never understood why the walking definition of style over substance still has a following given the twee, garbage fires of worthless crap he churns out still float about charity shop shelves like the turd that wont just flush. To sum it up. Lots of style, nice set design. Terrible CGI, Zero tension at any point. I only watch this one for Ron Pearlman.

Alien vs predator 1&2

I heard they were going to do this. I even got told I watched them once. Nope. Dont remember it. I read the Dark Horse Graphic novel though. That's really good.

Prometheus

Take a solid script that promises good things and the director of the original film who hasn't really turned out anything exceptional in a long while. Then take the script, burn it and instead hire Damon Lindelof to write something AMAZING!
Its got to be good right? Lost was a deep and meaningful experience carefully put together by some of Hollywood's best talent right?
Nope, he's just the master of throwing weird shit at the screen then reading internet message board speculation in attempt to figure out what it means. #
The end result is a pretentious mess that I still enjoy in the same way I'd enjoy a lot of the Alien Rip offs that came out after the first films success.

Hacksaw Ridge

50% aww shucks Americana, 50% war porn for people who think war is hell can only be done by showing people being blown apart in a spectacular manner.
I hate being mean to it as the actual guy its based on is incredible and the war scenes are well done. However it wont make any 10 best war films. Not as bad as Braveheart either, possibly Mad Mels best film.

Trumbo

Much better. A brilliant performance from Bryan Cranston underpins a film that deals with the career of Dalton Trumbo, an unrepentant leftist who managed to continue working through the blacklist and won two Oscars that didn't have his name on it. It's on Prime so worth checking out. Some genuinely great performances including John Goodman as the head of monogram pictures.

9. Every time i've seen this (this is my third viewing i think) i end up wondering how an animated film about sentient rag dolls in a post apocalyptic future affects me so, but it always does. It's unsettling, disturbing, visually stunning, and surprisingly deep. Oh, and it's a 12 certificate. Watch it.

I fell asleep when i attempted to watch it a few years back. Never bothered with it since. :lol:

That's because you're shallow mate. ;)

Or an adult who doesn't watch films about rag dolls. :lol:

Seriously though, i just forgot about it. I might dig it out and give it another go this week.

Hornet's Nest (1970)

Italian boys and a German doctor (Sylva Koscina) help a U.S. captain (Rock Hudson) blow up a dam held by the Nazis.

Hornet's Nest is a mid scale war film made by MGM as an Italian production. For half it's 100 minute run time the film sinks too near to coma inducing, with only the annoying bickering of the boys (Think the street gang from Angels with Dirty Faces living rough in the Italian countryside) and counting how many times Hudson refers to Koscina's Bianca character as Sylva, all that's keeps you awake.

However the second half bucks up dramatically and we have a mixture of classic war time adventure - Force 10 From Navarone on a smaller budget, and a disturbing psychological study on the effects of warfare on a young mind.

Morricone fans will enjoy the soundtrack.

Worth watching.

Ghost Punting

Sammo Hung comedy about ghosts that due to terrible subtitles was a lot funnier than it should have been.

Rise of the Footsoldier

Blimey, the first two thirds of this are fantastic...a barrage of football related violence that is something to behold as blood sprays all over the place in what feels like one endless hour long scene then the plot kicks in and slows things down somewhat... except for the odd moment of Craig Fairbrass going bonkers and stabbing, battering and stomping on people for the slightest thing. Geezer porn at its best.

Tale of tales.

A dark fantasy film of 3 different adult stories.
A kind of monty python(esque) feel to it but without the humour.
The acting and scenery perfomances where top notch.
Story of a Queen who was desperate to have a child so must eat the heart of a Dragon cooked by a virgin. The virgin also gets pregnant.
Then tells the story of the 2boys. When they are 18 from the different mothers, both who are albino twin
Story of a king who in reality is a pervert that will shag any decent women going and falls in love one of 2 ugly sisters, not realising there ugly or there 2 of them.
When he final makes love to her and see how ugly she is he then has her thrown out the window. She survives and rescued by a women who breastfeeds her and turns her into a princess, who the king falls in love with again not realising it the same women.
And tale of a king who more fascinated with a flea as a pet and growing to a huge size than his own daughter. When the flea dies he tries to find his daughter a husband, by doing so he shows the skin and they have to guess what it is.
The guy wins looks like a extra from the hills have eyes
A tale of randomness sureal, and not sure where the story going or taking us.
A film where youre not exactly sure whats going on but enjoying what youre watching at the same time.
A recomended watch once if you want something different and change from the norm.
Biggest let down for me was when you tend to watch a film with several stories, somewhere along the lines there a connection, and in reality apart from all being kings and queens there was no real connection between the characters.

That honour belongs to Apocalypto, a savage and otherworldly masterpiece.

Apocalypto was good as well. My only downer with that was the spanish arriving at the end. At the point its supposed to be set Spain was an islamic caliphate.

Split. Three teenage girls are abducted by a man who appears to have a couple of dozen split personalities, who promises them that a new personality he calls "the Beast" is about to be born... Disappointing thriller/chiller from M Night Shyamalan that started off okay but never developed into anything particularly interesting. Not bad as such, but very ordinary. For a split personality psycho thriller, forget this and go watch John Lithgow chewing the scenery in the far more entertaining early 90s Brian De Palma flick Raising Cain instead. :behindsofa:

Not what I've seen, but what I want to see. :nod:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ldiAFR7HGI

I'll be getting that then. ;):nod::pop2::thankingyou:

The Rejuvenator

Gory 80s reworking of The Wasp Woman, featuring a similar story about an ageing actress who restores her youth thanks to an experimental serum, only here the side effects periodically transform her into a slimy brain monster with a craving for medulla oblongata fluids.

It's top quality schlock, with some truly priceless dialogue complimenting the effects work, but I wouldn't say no to a slightly bigger budgeted remake that could hopefully go even further in plumbing the icky depths this tale demands.

I used to have that on VHS!

The only thing I remember about it is that it has a cameo appearance by the all-girl glam metal band 'The Poison Dollys'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3a2Ycr_3rtE

I can forgive that historical inaccuracy because the the film is utterly compelling, extraordinarily ambitious, and brilliantly executed.

Shame the Devil (2013)

A London detective tracking a serial killer finds the killers "truth or die" methods take him to New York to solve the case.

From director Paul Tanter, a name usually associated with dross like The Fall of the Essex Boys, Shame the Devil isn't too bad actually. Coming across like a poverty row British version of Saw meets Se7en, except there's clearly a bit of cash behind the whole thing. It's uneven but offers several scenes of well produced suspense and decent cinematography which is ever so slightly let down by the whole shot digitally look and occasionally wonky acting and dialogue, but on the whole this was a decent watch.

THE KILLING OF AMERICA is now on Amazon Prime! Watching it now, not a lot has changed sadly.

Second attempt at Soavis The Church and second time I've fallen asleep. Thought this was supposed to be a classic of Italian Cinema??

It's bollocks mate, pretty looking but still bollocks.

At last,ive been saying this for ages.... The Church..........its bollocks.....fall alseep at dvd player near you soon.

Just finished this....not sure what to make of it, there are some shocking images but it has nothing to say...it offers no reasons for why America is so violent other than serial killers have high IQs! It is pure exploitation dressed up as a respectable documentary but missed a trick by not having an "expert" sat behind a desk narrating the film like an old drug or sexual health exploitation film. Recommended.

Couple of films ive watched recently

Started watching phantasm films again havent seen new one yet, classic films

Autopsy of jane doe. Fine eg of how horror not dead and not rellying on tired format, sequels, reboots cash in etc.
Enjoyed it, if not seen a recommended watch, a slowish burner that relies on good old fashioned atmophere like a j horror, no jump tactics, or heavy on violence or gore.
About a son and father who run a mortuary and do the autopsy as well, and are baffled at the dead body of a women who the police bring.
At times there was parts that reminded me of playing first few games of silent hill, because it was one those you hear lots of noises and strange going on but dont see anything at times and when you do you're not actual sure what you seen. A very good atmospheric film.

Tale of tales

Train to busan, enjoyed this fast paced zombie film where the outcome wasnt the usual predicament of who going to live and die. And ending was pretty sad

Beware the slenderman netflix original the true story of the two 12/13 yr old who tried killing one of their best friends.
I told a friend about this and he just wouldnt believe me the story was genuine, so i told him to google it.

And not a film but the classic kids sci fi chocky, and to be honest i wasnt aware it had sequels, so i be watching them this week.

Pretty looking bollocks eh. That's got to be a niche market.

Believe me J, nurse MTDS knows a pretty looking bollocks when he sees them. :nod: :lol:

I used to love Chocky's Children as a kid. Fantastically spooky fun.