Cult Labs

Go Back   Cult Labs > Film Discussions > General Film Discussions

Like Tree179038Likes

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #37591  
Old 19th July 2016, 10:08 AM
Frankie Teardrop's Avatar
Cultist on the Rampage
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Leeds, UK
Default

SATAN'S BLADE – Slasher films might be the most formulaic of genre product, but quite a few of them, mostly the ones made by regional independent filmmakers, are downright weird. In the last couple of years, Arrow and 88 have revamped many of these eccentrics, films which might be seen by many as being down at the bottom of the slasher barrel – the likes of 'X Ray', 'Blood Rage' etc etc. 'Satan's Blade' looks set to join this illustrious list, for at least a few minutes of its run time anyway. It opens with a bank robbery which segues into a double murder in an isolated cabin. At this point, 'Satan's Blade' is hitting all the right buttons, being creakily made, casually sordid and laughably violent. It looks and feels like a dirty exploitation film with goods to deliver. After the focus shifts onto the escapades of two groups of holiday makers who rent said isolated cabin, things take a bit of a dive. 'Satan's Blade's main problem is that it's really boring. That's a shame, because it's bookended by some good stuff – the opening with the robbers, and the end, which at least delivers some solid slashing, an atmosphere of doom and an absolutely crazy rationale for the killings which almost blasts the film into orbit. But the filling of this sandwich is not good. Some will find sustenance in the bad acting – seriously, there's some really bad acting here, of the kind that seems nearly parodic. It's as if the ensemble have some kind of social co-ordination deficit. This is charming (or, if you're not a fan, distracting and ruinous) for a while, but there's just too much wandering about and irrelevance. People go fishing, get drunk, go on soul searching walks in the snowy woods. You can try to enliven it by concentrating on the bad aesthetics, and there are a couple of effective horror sequences here and there, but it's dull. However, despite being the jaded hack that I am, I've sat through so much shit over the years that sometimes even a glimmer of originality, or a certain image in the right place at the right time, can save a film for me. And so it is with 'Satan's Blade', which certainly wins a few crowns for its bonkers concept – a weapon inhabited by the spirit of a 'giant man' from the mountains that possesses its 'victim', turns them into a slasher, then hops from host to host via a plot device that seems to be based on Arthurian legend. Quite dizzying, and I wish the whole enterprise had lived up to this level of mentalness. As it stands, 'Satan's Blade' will certainly appeal to fans of knackered eighties freakishness, but be prepared for a lengthy trudge midstream.
Reply With Quote
  #37592  
Old 19th July 2016, 07:10 PM
Cinematic Shocks's Avatar
Seasoned Cultist
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Pattaya, Thailand
Default

Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks (1976)

***1/2 out of *****

__________________
My articles @ Dread Central and Diabolique Magazine

In-depth analysis on horror, exploitation, and other shocking cinema @ Cinematic Shocks
Reply With Quote
  #37593  
Old 20th July 2016, 01:59 PM
Cult Veteran
Good Trader
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: summerisle
Blog Entries: 21
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Frankie Teardrop View Post
SATAN'S BLADE – Slasher films might be the most formulaic of genre product, but quite a few of them, mostly the ones made by regional independent filmmakers, are downright weird. In the last couple of years, Arrow and 88 have revamped many of these eccentrics, films which might be seen by many as being down at the bottom of the slasher barrel – the likes of 'X Ray', 'Blood Rage' etc etc. 'Satan's Blade' looks set to join this illustrious list, for at least a few minutes of its run time anyway. It opens with a bank robbery which segues into a double murder in an isolated cabin. At this point, 'Satan's Blade' is hitting all the right buttons, being creakily made, casually sordid and laughably violent. It looks and feels like a dirty exploitation film with goods to deliver. After the focus shifts onto the escapades of two groups of holiday makers who rent said isolated cabin, things take a bit of a dive. 'Satan's Blade's main problem is that it's really boring. That's a shame, because it's bookended by some good stuff – the opening with the robbers, and the end, which at least delivers some solid slashing, an atmosphere of doom and an absolutely crazy rationale for the killings which almost blasts the film into orbit. But the filling of this sandwich is not good. Some will find sustenance in the bad acting – seriously, there's some really bad acting here, of the kind that seems nearly parodic. It's as if the ensemble have some kind of social co-ordination deficit. This is charming (or, if you're not a fan, distracting and ruinous) for a while, but there's just too much wandering about and irrelevance. People go fishing, get drunk, go on soul searching walks in the snowy woods. You can try to enliven it by concentrating on the bad aesthetics, and there are a couple of effective horror sequences here and there, but it's dull. However, despite being the jaded hack that I am, I've sat through so much shit over the years that sometimes even a glimmer of originality, or a certain image in the right place at the right time, can save a film for me. And so it is with 'Satan's Blade', which certainly wins a few crowns for its bonkers concept – a weapon inhabited by the spirit of a 'giant man' from the mountains that possesses its 'victim', turns them into a slasher, then hops from host to host via a plot device that seems to be based on Arthurian legend. Quite dizzying, and I wish the whole enterprise had lived up to this level of mentalness. As it stands, 'Satan's Blade' will certainly appeal to fans of knackered eighties freakishness, but be prepared for a lengthy trudge midstream.
Any fan of Absurd will be at home then, surely?
keirarts and Frankie Teardrop like this.
__________________
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

[B]
"... the days ahead will be filled with struggle ... and coated in marzipan ... "[/B]
Reply With Quote
  #37594  
Old 20th July 2016, 03:09 PM
JamesN's Avatar
Cultist
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: NC
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deadite View Post
Tanya Roberts gets her norks out.
I'm assuming that's a British thing (forgive my stupid American assumption if it's totally off-base), but I just had to mention that this is the funniest thing I've read on the Internet all month: "norks"

Cheers.
Reply With Quote
  #37595  
Old 20th July 2016, 03:21 PM
Nosferatu@Cult Labs's Avatar
Cult Don
Cult Labs Radio Contributor
Good Trader
Senior Moderator
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The Land of the Prince Bishops
Blog Entries: 4
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by JamesN View Post
I'm assuming that's a British thing (forgive my stupid American assumption if it's totally off-base), but I just had to mention that this is the funniest thing I've read on the Internet all month: "norks"

Cheers.
I also thought it's a British term but, according to the Urban Dictionary, it is Australian in origin:

Derived from the prominent udders on the cow used to advertise Norco, New South Wales' North Coast Dairy Co-Operative.

Amongst other terms on the website are breasticles, breasts, tits, puppies, gazongas, babylons, and knockers.

It should not be confused with nork, which is apparently a furious session of unlubricated anal sex!

Urban Dictionary: nork
__________________

Last edited by Nosferatu@Cult Labs; 21st July 2016 at 08:22 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #37596  
Old 20th July 2016, 03:22 PM
J Harker's Avatar
Cult Addict
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Deepest Darkest South Wales
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nosferatu@Cult Labs View Post
I also thought it's a British term but, according to the Urban Dictionary, it is Australian in origin:

Derived from the prominent udders on the cow used to advertise Norco, New South Wales' North Coast Dairy Co-Operative.

Amongst other terms on the website are breasticles, breasts, tits, puppies, gazongas, babylons, and knockers.

It should not be confused with nork, which is apparently a furious session of lubricated anal sex!

Urban Dictionary: nork
Lets not go forgetting tattybojangles!
Reply With Quote
  #37597  
Old 20th July 2016, 03:26 PM
JamesN's Avatar
Cultist
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: NC
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nosferatu@Cult Labs View Post
breasticles, breasts, tits, puppies, gazongas, babylons, and knockers.
Good stuff. I have been known to use "chesticles" myself. "Babylons" is a new one. I've never used it before.

But I will be.
Reply With Quote
  #37598  
Old 20th July 2016, 03:28 PM
Nosferatu@Cult Labs's Avatar
Cult Don
Cult Labs Radio Contributor
Good Trader
Senior Moderator
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The Land of the Prince Bishops
Blog Entries: 4
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by J Harker View Post
Lets not go forgetting tattybojangles!
Some of the funniest terms I've seen were in the Chuck Palahniuk novel Pygmy. I can't remember them at the moment, but I'm pretty sure 'milk maidens' was one of them. It's a brilliant book and I'm sure I read it contains over 1000 slang terms for breasts.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #37599  
Old 20th July 2016, 03:30 PM
Nosferatu@Cult Labs's Avatar
Cult Don
Cult Labs Radio Contributor
Good Trader
Senior Moderator
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The Land of the Prince Bishops
Blog Entries: 4
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by JamesN View Post
Good stuff. I have been known to use "chesticles" myself. "Babylons" is a new one. I've never used it before.

But I will be.
I thought that was a pejorative term to infer they are slightly small and shrivelled, slightly resembling the scrotum! That's different to 'spaniel's ears', which are flat ones which slightly hang down.
keirarts likes this.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #37600  
Old 20th July 2016, 03:35 PM
JamesN's Avatar
Cultist
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: NC
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nosferatu@Cult Labs View Post
It's a brilliant book and I'm sure I read it contains over 1000 slang terms for breasts.
Sold.
Demoncrat and nosferatu42 like this.
Reply With Quote
Reply  

Like this? Share it using the links below!

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



Our goal is to keep Cult Labs friendly. If you feel discouraged from posting by certain members' behaviour then you can e-mail us in complete confidence.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
All forum posts are contributed by members of the site; Cult Labs cannot take responsibility for all content posted on the site. If you have an issue with content posted on the site please click the 'report post' button.
Copyright © 2014 Cult Laboratories Ltd. All rights reserved.