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  #41311  
Old 4th May 2017, 12:05 PM
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Glad you enjoyed I Drink Your Blood, Rik.

It's been a fave of mine for a number of years now and one I like to keep on regular rotation.
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  #41312  
Old 4th May 2017, 12:19 PM
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Originally Posted by bizarre_eye@Cult Labs View Post
Glad you enjoyed I Drink Your Blood, Rik.



It's been a fave of mine for a number of years now and one I like to keep on regular rotation.


Definitely not the only time I'll watch it
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  #41313  
Old 4th May 2017, 12:22 PM
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Invasion USA
Cannon action flick about an army of terrorists invading good old 'Murica and only one man able to stop them - that man is Chuck Norris; a man who is poor at saying one liners. it takes a while to get into this film, the opening scenes are good, especially when our evil german villain kills a drug dealer and his sherbet snorting girlfriend; shot in the crotch and thrown out of a window respectively. once all the terrorists leave their boats and get on the trucks (amazing but laughable set piece). then it starts to pick up. the action is great and the final 15-20 minutes or so is fantastic.
7/10
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  #41314  
Old 4th May 2017, 12:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bleakshaun View Post
So is Aquanoids the flagship of crappy sea monster flicks now?
It's really poor. Anything that ends in 'oids' is.

Creepozoids - that's another crap one.
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  #41315  
Old 4th May 2017, 12:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Demdike@Cult Labs View Post
It's really poor. Anything that ends in 'oids' is.

Creepozoids - that's another crap one.
sadly i always get a few laughs out of aquanoids
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  #41316  
Old 4th May 2017, 02:33 PM
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Originally Posted by keirarts View Post
Shark Exorcist.

f****** hell.

When you see a shark film these days the basic assumption is the film is going to be a deliberately constructed 'bad film' that's designed to appeal to the 'so bad its good' crowd while showing at least a level of technical proficiency that means the film-makes stand half a chance of working again.
Sometimes you come across films like ghost shark where the money wasn't there and the film suffers more as a result. Very rarely however, does one come across a film so inept that you realise the basic fundamentals of film-making have not only escaped the makers, but were probably never there to begin with.
The plot, as best i can understand it, involves some kind of satanic nun who has summoned the devil in the form of a glowing eyed shark. Various hot women get bit and become sharks... at least I think that's what happens. Characters wander out of frame and disappear entirely from the scene only appearing later. It then occurs to me some point later in the evening that they may have transformed into a shark. Its just that the makers of this garbage fire could not afford or be bothered or have the talent to put this across to the audience. Characters move about in scenes as if they have developed the ability to teleport around the scene at will. Phantom cameramen film things then disappear and the same awful CG shark footage is recycled. One character that only appears in a dream sequence for most of the film reappears in an end credits sequence fondling toy sharks and leering at the camera. At one point I was convinced she was going to use a plastic shark as a dildo. Sadly it wasn't meant to be.
The whole affair has a car crash appeal to it. Its like someone gave Ed woods mentally handicapped cousin a camera and a bunch of models and said 'have at it.'
I did warn you...
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  #41317  
Old 4th May 2017, 02:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by keirarts View Post
Shark Exorcist.

f****** hell.

When you see a shark film these days the basic assumption is the film is going to be a deliberately constructed 'bad film' that's designed to appeal to the 'so bad its good' crowd while showing at least a level of technical proficiency that means the film-makes stand half a chance of working again.
Sometimes you come across films like ghost shark where the money wasn't there and the film suffers more as a result. Very rarely however, does one come across a film so inept that you realise the basic fundamentals of film-making have not only escaped the makers, but were probably never there to begin with.
The plot, as best i can understand it, involves some kind of satanic nun who has summoned the devil in the form of a glowing eyed shark. Various hot women get bit and become sharks... at least I think that's what happens. Characters wander out of frame and disappear entirely from the scene only appearing later. It then occurs to me some point later in the evening that they may have transformed into a shark. Its just that the makers of this garbage fire could not afford or be bothered or have the talent to put this across to the audience. Characters move about in scenes as if they have developed the ability to teleport around the scene at will. Phantom cameramen film things then disappear and the same awful CG shark footage is recycled. One character that only appears in a dream sequence for most of the film reappears in an end credits sequence fondling toy sharks and leering at the camera. At one point I was convinced she was going to use a plastic shark as a dildo. Sadly it wasn't meant to be.
The whole affair has a car crash appeal to it. Its like someone gave Ed woods mentally handicapped cousin a camera and a bunch of models and said 'have at it.'
Well not like you could expect it to be anything else with the title and cover, what you expect ?
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  #41318  
Old 4th May 2017, 02:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Make Them Die Slowly View Post
I did warn you...
when it comes to shark movies, warnings aren't enough
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  #41319  
Old 4th May 2017, 02:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Make Them Die Slowly View Post
I did warn you...
That was encouragement!
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  #41320  
Old 4th May 2017, 07:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Demdike@Cult Labs View Post
Someone with some sense of normality please tell me why i now want to see this film.
I wanted to see it after reading the title – the review was just icing on the cake!
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