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Stardust (2020, Gabriel Range) The Bowie "biopic". Fair play to Johnny Flynn, who has a swipe of the Dame imho. How I wish the film had anything to back him up. If you've ever read the hilarious hack job Alias David Bowie, then hooray, they've made a film of it Offensive and rather meagre (not being allowed to use the songs ahem), this was far more of a phantasmagoria than the Queen flick (and that's saying something), without the humour that engendered. AVOID LF. 0/10.
__________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] [B] "... the days ahead will be filled with struggle ... and coated in marzipan ... "[/B] |
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AUTOPSY – A few points lift this giallo above the usual procedural-mode dullness. Its strangely grim atmosphere, aided by a lot of cadaver imagery that seems to pop up at the slightest opportunity, is warped even further by semi-psychedelic references to solar flares and their role in a wave of apparent suicides. I wanted all that stuff to be taken further, but it wasn’t long before ‘Autopsy’ showed its hand as a staunch murder mystery (albeit one in which errant priests turn out to be burned-out formula one drivers and don’t have any scruples about slapping people around). Another plus is that it’s relatively fast-paced considering its run-time, and throws in quite a bit of sleaze. SCREAM – Sometimes a bad dream will wake me, and I’ll lie staring at my ceiling into the early hours, the relentless boredom eventually becoming oddly trance-like… sentient beings watching ‘Scream’ will probably end up feeling something similar. It’s about a bunch of hikers who end up stranded in a deserted town, only to be bloodlessly hacked by a slasher / supernatural entity (it’s never quite clear which). Despite the fact that nothing much happens in it, I found it weirdly engrossing. The eerie long takes of objects and wallpaper, the constant misty atmosphere (the makers had obviously seen ‘The Fog’), the random incidents involving guys on bikes, the wonky score, all of these add edge to the aimlessness and make downtime hypnotic. It’s not as over-the-top as something like ‘Hellgate’, but it’s about as senseless. I have a feeling that most will think it’s quite rubbish, but ‘Scream’ pushes my buttons… I don’t know about yours. If you like ‘huh?’-inducing, slightly lame horror movies from the late seventies / early eighties such as, I dunno, ‘The Forest’ or similar, you might give it a chance. CHAMPAGNE AND BULLETS – Definitely belongs somewhere on a special list, one that incorporates the likes of ‘Samurai Cop’, ‘White Fire’, ‘The Miami Connection’ etc etc – in other words, it’s an attempt at an action flick that has gone wrong in the most sublime way possible. That ‘Champagne and Bullets’ is a vanity movie conceived by the gargantuan ego of one ‘John De Hart’ – he writes, he directs, he stars – almost demands it a list unto itself. The potency of its badness is patent in the screwy tonal shifts (we go from amiable buddy hijinks to scenes of occult child sacrifice in the blink of a befuddled eye, dismal sex scenes drown in atonal acoustic jangling, hilarious karaoke gives way to awful rape etc etc) and the absurdity of its plot is amply encapsulated by the identity of its villain, who manages to be a disliked cop colleague, a corrupt judge, a crazed cult leader and a cartel drug lord whenever the occasion demands… yeah, it’s wacky. Well, when Wings Hauser is your movie’s most sensible proposition, you’re f?cked. Musical numbers predominate. In a bar scene, John De Hart sings his theme tune, backed by ‘local talent’. Watch the band behind him on stage. They’re p*ssing themselves. Heart-breaking, but so will you. |
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Glad you dug Geteven FT!!!
__________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] [B] "... the days ahead will be filled with struggle ... and coated in marzipan ... "[/B] |
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River's Edge (1986) Dazed and Confused - the murder years. Bleak, uncompromising and unglamorous this is as far away from typical teen movies as you can get. It's monsters are all too real giving the film a stench of decay so strong it practically ranks as a horror film. Great performances* from Crispin Glover (Although maybe i shouldn't have watched this so soon after Back to the Future), Ione Skye and Daniel Roebuck give this a grimy sense of brooding believability and the washed out colours add to the all round air of gloom. *Keanu Reeves produces an early performance playing Keanu Reeves. |
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Watch Me When I Kill (1977, Antonio Bido) When a woman accidentally disturbs a maniac, she seems to become his next target. Her partner determines to track down the culprit!! Less gaudy and somewhat more procedural in tone, this still held my attention (mainly due to the dialogue ahem). A minor effort for all that imho.
__________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] [B] "... the days ahead will be filled with struggle ... and coated in marzipan ... "[/B] |
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Halloween2007.jpg Everyone knows the story the only difference is a little more of Michael as a kid and the whole sister thing. Coming from someone who thinks Halloween is one of the best films of all time not just horror i really dont see why there is so much hate for this film. Granted i love everything Rob Zombie does but my view of this is not some sort of fanboy bias its a genuinely brilliant film in my view. I love the nasty gritty childhood of Michael and the most satisfying part of that was the revenge on the bully in the woods i always love when a bully gets his. When it comes to the adult Michael sweet jesus is Tyler Mane is one scary son a bitch. The film is full of the usual suspects we are accustomed to in Rob Zombies films but none of them really get too much screen time and there is a surprise appearance from Mickey Dolenz from The Monkees. This is a relentless brutal nasty gritty film and its alot of fun if that's your idea of fun . 8/10
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One_Armed_Boxer-676335865-large.jpg One Armed Boxer After a fight breaks out between two rival martial arts schools the defeated school cannot accept defeat so they lie to their master to make him make a challenge for a fight to settle the insult but there is a similar result and they once again return home with their tails between their legs but as before they will not accept that that they have been bested and the master hires a number of mercenaries from all over each from different martial arts styles to get their revenge. In the battle the school is wiped out and the best fighter has his arm ripped off and left for dead but lucky for him he is found and nursed back to health and thought how to strike a killer blow and become even more dangerous than when he had both arms. Right from the first minute this is non stop action there are two mass brawls in the first 5 minutes and it never stops right up until the final credits. Sometimes it can get a bit tedious if it's just constant fighting but there are so many different fighting styles here that it's an absolute pleasure to watch with every fight feeling fresh and new. The story is a basic one the student must avenge his master's death while overcoming his own trials and tribulations but its still an entertaining one with how fast paced everything is and the 90 minutes just flies by. Recommended 100% 8/10
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Short Sharp Shocks (2020) A series of short films that would have been programmers alongside a main feature in British cinemas from the 1940's-1980's. Lock Your Door (1949) The Reformation of St Jules (1949) I had high hopes for these two short films. Part of a series in which the renowned author Algernon Blackwood tells his own stories whilst sat at a fireplace. I'd hoped these would be a precursor for the classic MR James television adaptations as told by Christopher Lee and Robert Powell which i absolutely adore and in a way they are. Except Blackwood, despite being a prolific writer of ghost and horror stories which i have a lovely compendium of, is a really boring storyteller. He never looks into the camera, never engages the viewer and is sadly not at all interesting. So, so disappointing. Portrait of a Matador (1958) Duller than dull tale of a matador and an artist. This was poorly acted and my mind was wandering from the off. Notable only for an appearance from Yvonne Romain. Death Was a Passenger (1958) I wasn't looking forward to this second Theodore Zichy effort after struggling to stay awake through Portrait of a Matador, but thankfully this tale of Terrence Alexander recounting to his fellow passengers a lucky escape he had while trying to escape the Nazis on a train at the start of WWII has a bit more about it and takes it's hat off to classic train set films like Berlin Express (1948). At least this throws a bit of mystery and the odd thrill our way if not exactly a short sharp shock. I still have The Tell Tale Heart (1953) to watch but as it's another camp fire / fireside tale type thing, this time read by the great Stanley Baker i thought i'd leave it for another day. Hopefully this and what is to come on disc two will make this set a little more memorable because following 4/9 tales it's a collection fast heading to CEX. |
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