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  #501  
Old 21st June 2015, 02:57 PM
Inspector Abberline's Avatar
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Default Tv Quotes

Getting On - Series 2 Ep02

Kim Wilde - She was going to do a shit In the bath.

Sister Den Flixter - Better a shit in the bath than a stitch in the chin.

Kim Wilde - Well thank you, Confucius.
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  #502  
Old 26th June 2015, 02:03 PM
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Default TV Quotes» Are You Being Served The Old Order Changes (18 Mar. 1977)

The Old Order Changes (18 Mar. 1977)

Mr Peacock goes all Polari.


Captain Stephen Peacock: Peace, man.

The Afro Pants: Love.

Captain Stephen Peacock: That as well.

The Afro Pants: Do you have trousers?

Captain Stephen Peacock: Far as the eye can see.

The Afro Pants: Then pant me, man.

Captain Stephen Peacock: Clayborne?

Mr. Wilberforce Clayborne Humphries: You called, Stevie baby?

Captain Stephen Peacock: Strides for the omi with the naff riah.
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  #503  
Old 26th June 2015, 02:15 PM
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Inspector Abberline View Post
The Old Order Changes (18 Mar. 1977)

Mr Peacock goes all Polari.


Captain Stephen Peacock: Peace, man.

The Afro Pants: Love.

Captain Stephen Peacock: That as well.

The Afro Pants: Do you have trousers?

Captain Stephen Peacock: Far as the eye can see.

The Afro Pants: Then pant me, man.

Captain Stephen Peacock: Clayborne?

Mr. Wilberforce Clayborne Humphries: You called, Stevie baby?

Captain Stephen Peacock: Strides for the omi with the naff riah.
That looks insane.
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  #504  
Old 26th June 2015, 02:21 PM
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Smoke (1995)

A terrific character piece starring William Hurt, Stockard Channing, Forrest Whitaker and Harvey Keitel as Augie Wren, the owner of a New York tobacconists.

Ruby McNutt: You didn't write to me for over a year. What was I supposed to think?

Auggie Wren: Yeah well, I lost my pen. By the time I got a new one, I was clean outa' paper.
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  #505  
Old 30th June 2015, 07:02 PM
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Default TV Quotes» Are You Being Served

The more I watch AYBS the more I like it,and my admiration for Frank Thornton and Mollie Sugden has definitely grown,how they delivered these lines with a straight face is beyond me.


Mrs. Slocombe: Sorry I'm late. The central heating broke down. I had to light the oven and hold my pussy in front of it. Poor little thing. Its tail had been hanging out of its basket all night long!



Captain Peacock: In this area we have the mechanical cuddlies

Mrs. Slocombe: But they're all dogs. Is there no demand for mechanical pussies?

Captain Peacock: I am told that people prefer the real thing.
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  #506  
Old 5th July 2015, 07:25 AM
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Default Withnail & I

The trouble with a film like this is you have to put up dicks like me constantly quoting it.

Withnail: Are you the farmer?

Marwood: Shut up, I'll deal with this.

Withnail: We've gone on holiday by mistake. We're in this cottage here. Are you the farmer?

Marwood: Stop saying that Withnail, of course he's the f***ing farmer!


Withnail11.jpg


[after coming out of a field, Withnail hasn't closed the gate properly, and a bull walks through it. Withnail hands Marwood the bag of shopping and jumps over the wall to safety. Marwood stands there, petrified]

Withnail: [calmly] Grab its ring. Keep your bag up. Outvie him.

Isaac Parkin: Hey, show no fear! Just run at it!

Marwood: Well, that can't be sensible, can it, the bastard's about to run at me!

Isaac Parkin: Well, it's randy!

Marwood: Yes, yeah, I know he is!

Withnail: [casually lighting a cigarette] He wants to get down there and have sex with those cows.

Marwood: Shut up, Withnail!

[the bull is scraping the ground with its front hoof, snorting]

Isaac Parkin: Run at it, shouting!

Withnail: Do as he says. Start shouting. He won't gore you.

Marwood: A coward you are, Withnail, an expert on bulls you are not! AAAAARGGGHHHH!

[he throws the shopping the air and it scatters in the mud. Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. He slams it shut and slumps against it, shaken]

Isaac Parkin: Shut that gate and keep it shut!

Withnail: [cheerfully hopping back over the wall] I think an evening at The Crow.

Withnail23.jpg

Marwood: Withnail, you bastard, wake up. Wake up you bastard, or I burn this bastard bed down!

Withnail: I deny all accusations.

[opens his eyes]

Withnail: What you do want?

Marwood: I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering, and have come in here with the express intention of wishing one upon you.
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  #507  
Old 5th July 2015, 11:04 AM
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Default The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! (1988)

Mayor: Drebin, I don't want anymore trouble like you had last year on the South Side. Understand? That's my policy.

Frank: Yes. Well, when I see 5 weirdos dressed in togas stabbing a guy in the middle of the park in full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards. That's *my* policy.

Mayor: That was a Shakespeare-In-The-Park production of "Julius Caesar", you moron! You killed 5 actors! Good ones.
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  #508  
Old 11th July 2015, 12:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by green-crusader View Post
Mayor: Drebin, I don't want anymore trouble like you had last year on the South Side. Understand? That's my policy.

Frank: Yes. Well, when I see 5 weirdos dressed in togas stabbing a guy in the middle of the park in full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards. That's *my* policy.

Mayor: That was a Shakespeare-In-The-Park production of "Julius Caesar", you moron! You killed 5 actors! Good ones.
This is actually a parody of one of the famous scenes in 'Dirty Harry':

The Mayor: Callahan... I don't want any more trouble like you had last year in the Fillmore district. You understand? That's my policy.

Harry Callahan: Yeah, well, when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard that's my policy.

The Mayor: Intent? How'd you establish that?

Harry Callahan: When a naked man is chasing a woman through a dark alley with a butcher knife and a hard on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross.

[Callahan leaves]

The Mayor: I think he's got a point.
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  #509  
Old 23rd July 2015, 07:54 PM
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Default holy batshit

Well i thought it was funny.

Robin: Holey rusted metal, Batman!

Batman: Huh?


Robin: The ground, it's all metal. It's full of holes. You know, holey.

Batman: Oh.
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  #510  
Old 24th July 2015, 01:27 AM
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"Let off some steam Bennett" Lol
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