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  #741  
Old 26th August 2021, 09:35 PM
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Veep... Series 3
S03E07 - Special Relationship.
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Jonah to Dan, visiting him in the hospital after a nervous breakdown.....

"OK, let's check out your chart. Let's see how you're doin' here. Dan Egan, 67, female: unemployed campaign manager, 30 different types of semen pumped from stomach, inverted nipples, abnormally high douche readings (that makes sense), cancer of the soul, traces of dog excrement found around the corners of the mouth, chronic cretinism, anal bleeding, uh... tiny child balls?" .
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  #742  
Old 28th August 2021, 03:39 PM
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Veep - Tehran [S04E04]

Quote:
Wonderful. It's Black Hawk Down with Laurel and Hardy.


Veep-Episode 6 Storms and Pancakes.

Quote:
A bunch of tall women were molested, and Mr. Ryan was one of them.
– Richard


Quote:
“You know what you do with lame animals?” – Jonah

“Care for them.”- Richard

“You shoot them dead.” – Jonah
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  #743  
Old 5th September 2021, 06:04 PM
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Arrested Development.s02e10
Ready, Aim, Marry Me

Lindsay: Boy, that Dragon’s cute, huh?

Michael: What, the deaf giant who’s holding our fake uncle?

Lindsay: He’s been flirting with me all night. I was thinking maybe it would be best for the family if I went on that romance thing with Drag, instead of Tobias... which would be a drag.

Michael: Yeah, that’s just the kind of joke Drag can’t hear.
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  #744  
Old 7th September 2021, 08:09 PM
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High Spirits.

(Peter putting a noose round his head)
Mrs. Plunkett: There you are, taking the easy way out you naughty boy.
Peter Plunkett: Mother this is not easy, it's very very difficult.
Mrs Plunkett: Just because you haven't got a ghost in this place, you are in a hot clamp place with that fella Brogen.
Mrs. Plunkett: Your father's so worried, he's tearing his hair out!
Peter Plunkett: Mother, father has been dead for a decade
Mrs. Plunkett: And what about your grandmother? How do you think she feels?
Peter Plunkett: Mother, grandmother is dead too!
Mrs. Plunkett: She's still upset.
Peter Plunkett: Oh very well I apologise to the fumbling ghosts of my ancestors for making a mess of their ancestral home.
(Throws the other end of the noose to his mother)
Peter Plunkett: Hold That!
Mrs. Plunkett: I'm not gonna help you!

Martin Brogan: That was a dirty trick wasn't it, eh? Eh? Kicking me right in the bahoogies.
Sharon: You were going to stab your wife with a sword, you pig.
Martin Brogan: Ah, sure, that's no big thing. I do it every night.
Sharon: Oh, and I suppose watching other men's wives in the bathtub is no big deal either.
Martin Brogan: [backs Sharon against a wall] Sure, it's a grand thing if the wife happens to be you.
[leans in for a kiss]
Sharon: [moves away] You dirty peeping Tom.
Martin Brogan: My name's not Thomas. It's Martin.
Martin Brogan: [getting turned on by Sharon] Oh, God. Here, give us a wee skelp before...
Martin Brogan: [Sharon is about to kick him in the nuts again] No, not again! You're a wily vixen, aren't ya?
Martin Brogan: [getting turned on by Sharon] Oh, God, what a woman.
Sharon: [getting horny] You're not so bad yourself.


Jack: [reading from a book] "A ghost may not tup with a human." So this means a ghost cannot make love with a human being. Oh, my God!

Eamon: Listein to the paracyclist.

(Jack and Mary in bed)
Jack: I'm not tupping right, this is more of a scelp than a tup right?
Mary: We can't, it's not right.
Jack: I know, I know.
Mary: Last Night...I mean no...stop...stop...oh don't listein to me Jack.
Oh Jack remember our promise...we can't...a little bit to the right.


Jack: Hi, Marty!
[surprised after Martin has come flying through the window to pin Jack to the wall]
Martin Brogan: Where's the wife?
[Jack points towards the stairs; Martin looks at Mary and turns back]
Martin Brogan: Not mine, you dolt. Yours!
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  #745  
Old 7th September 2021, 08:23 PM
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Ghostbusters

Ray Stantz: "Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here."

Walter Peck: "They caused the explosion!"

The Mayor: "Is this true?"

Peter Venkman: "Yes, it's true."

Peter Venkman: "This man has no dick."
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  #746  
Old 7th September 2021, 08:48 PM
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Spies Like Us.

[Milbarge and Fitz-Hume hear a sound]

Emmett Fitz-Hume: Did you hear that?

Austin Millbarge: Yeah. It's a dickfer.

Emmett Fitz-Hume: What's a dickfer?

Austin Millbarge: To pee with.
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  #747  
Old 7th September 2021, 08:56 PM
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Uncle Buck.

[Buck's beat up old car pulls up]
Bug : [sarcastic] Ever hear of a tune up? Hee hee hee hee hee.
Buck : [also sarcastic] Ah, heh heh heh. Ever hear of a ritual killing? Ah, heh heh heh heh heh!
Bug : I don't get it.
Buck : [serious tone] You gnaw on her face in public like that again and you'll be one. Ah, heh heh heh heh!

Tia : I recommend you stay out of my personal life!
Buck : Do your parents stay out of your personal life?
Tia : They don't know my personal life.
Buck : Have they met twiddle-dink?
Tia : His name is Bug.
Buck : [chuckles] First or last?
Tia : First!
Buck : What's his last name, Spray?
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  #748  
Old 7th September 2021, 09:20 PM
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Stripes.

John Winger : C'mon, it's Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out again. We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia. It's like going into Wisconsin.
Russell Ziskey : Well I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it!



John Winger : Cut it out! Cut it out! Cut it out! The hell's the matter with you? Stupid! We're all very different people. We're not Watusi. We're not Spartans. We're Americans, with a capital 'A', huh? You know what that means? Do ya? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We're the underdog. We're mutts! Here's proof: his nose is cold! But there's no animal that's more faithful, that's more loyal, more loveable than the mutt. Who saw "Old Yeller?" Who cried when Old Yeller got shot at the end?
[raises his hand]
John Winger : [Sarcastically] Nobody cried when Old Yeller got shot? I'm sure.
[hands are reluctantly raised]
John Winger : I cried my eyes out. So we're all dogfaces, we're all very, very different, but there is one thing that we all have in common: we were all stupid enough to enlist in the Army. We're mutants. There's something wrong with us, something very, very wrong with us. Something seriously wrong with us - we're soldiers. But we're American soldiers! We've been kicking ass for 200 years! We're ten and one! Now we don't have to worry about whether or not we practiced. We don't have to worry about whether Captain Stillman wants to have us hung. All we have to do is to be the great American fighting soldier that is inside each one of us. Now do what I do, and say what I say. And make me proud.
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  #749  
Old 7th September 2021, 09:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrBarlow View Post
Uncle Buck.

[Buck's beat up old car pulls up]
Bug : [sarcastic] Ever hear of a tune up? Hee hee hee hee hee.
Buck : [also sarcastic] Ah, heh heh heh. Ever hear of a ritual killing? Ah, heh heh heh heh heh!
Bug : I don't get it.
Buck : [serious tone] You gnaw on her face in public like that again and you'll be one. Ah, heh heh heh heh!

Tia : I recommend you stay out of my personal life!
Buck : Do your parents stay out of your personal life?
Tia : They don't know my personal life.
Buck : Have they met twiddle-dink?
Tia : His name is Bug.
Buck : [chuckles] First or last?
Tia : First!
Buck : What's his last name, Spray?
John Candy's passing was a true loss for comedy movies in my opinion. He made so many great ones and so many i love.
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  #750  
Old 7th September 2021, 09:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Demdike@Cult Labs View Post
John Candy's passing was a true loss for comedy movies in my opinion. He made so many great ones and so many i love.
When people say John Candy, Uncle Buck is one film that comes immediately to my thoughts, real comedy genius.
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