The Meaning of Life (1983)
 

The Meaning of Life (1983)
Maitre d': Good evening sir and how are we today?
Mr. Creosote: Better.
Maitre d': Better?
Mr. Creosote: Better get a bucket. I'm gonna throw up.

..................What the hell just happened?
Must add that movie to my Lovefilm list, holy grud!

The Meaning of Life (1983)
 

The Meaning of Life (1983)
Lady Presenter: Well, that's the end of the film. Now, here's the meaning of life.
[Receives an envelope]
Lady Presenter: Thank you, Brigitte.
[Opens envelope, reads what's inside]
Lady Presenter: M-hmm. Well, it's nothing very special. Uh, try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations. And, finally, here are some completely gratuitous pictures of penises to annoy the censors and to hopefully spark some sort of controversy, which, it seems, is the only way, these days, to get the jaded, video-sated public off their ****ing arses and back in the sodding cinema. Family entertainment? Bollocks. What they want is filth: people doing things to each other with chainsaws during tupperware parties, babysitters being stabbed with knitting needles by gay presidential candidates, vigilante groups strangling chickens, armed bands of theatre critics exterminating mutant goats. Where's the fun in pictures? Oh, well, there we are. Here's the theme music. Goodnight.

Basket Case (1982)
 

Basket Case (1982)
She actually ordered chicken in a basket,but got Belial instead

Long Weekend (2008)
 

Long Weekend (2008)
That'll teach him to do a re-make

The Blob (1988)
 

The Blob (1988)
Noel Edmunds has lost control of Mr Blobby

My Bloody Valentine (1981)
 

My Bloody Valentine (1981)
I bet he never saw that coming

If you axe me, that looks painful! :D

bloody
 

I might be being Picky but is'nt it a pick axe :pound:

blimey i never knew thinking of puns could be so hard work

These jokes are terrorble!