Win Venus but at what cost?

[Almar@Cult Labs]

Time for another comp and for another three of you not to pay for Venus in Furs but get it for nowt!

All you have to do is come up with a title and plot for your own S&M flick! Now you could do it straight and have us (secretly) drooling to see it get made or take the whole thing a bit more abstract and play it for laughs. We've not get any money to make movies so don't worry - we won't nick your idea and get rich off it! It's a bit of light-hearted fun so get those phoney S&M movies rolling in and the best three get a copy of Venus in Furs and a spank (you'll have to come to our office for that bit and no we're not paying transport and accommodation costs!)

This competition will close 12pm GMT Sunday 27th Jan 2008, three winners will be selected to win one copy of Venus in Furs each and my decision is final (see I'm getting into this S&M thing you miserable worms)

[vincenzo]

Who's administering the aforementioned spank and are handcuffs involved? Is it......
1. Shania Twain
2. Shirley Manson
3. Ann Widdecombe

If the answer is number 3 then I'm not playing.

[Almar@Cult Labs]

Well you know how Vera Duckworth is leaving Coronation Street...

[davejay]

Can't be arsed to write a plot, but how's about a futuristic, ILSA-type movie entitled SPACECAMP SADISTS?

(SPACE SLUTS IN THE SLAMMER would have been better, but think Dave DeCoteau copyrighted that a couple of decades ago!)

[Almar@Cult Labs]

Can't be arsed to write a plot? Well then you don't get to win! Come on it's the plot that going to be entertaining. You can enter as many times as you want so let's have some plots in the coming week or two or I'll pack up Shameless and then you'll be sorry (for about five minutes...) Come on people - S&M plots now! *cracks whip*

[The Reaper Man@Cult Labs]

OK as blair is being trussed and whipped by bush,there is a chap at the door,it's edwina currie and john major,bill clinton and monica lewinski and john presscot

INT:THE S&M room bill produces the havana ,monica fires it out of you now where,it hits edwina's arse who drops an egg from her holiest place,prescott panics and right hooks major who collapses on blair.
Bush produces a desert eagle .45 and blows every last mother ****er away....

CLOSE UP VIEW:BUSH pulls off his mask ala mission impossible to reveal..........MAGGIE THATCHER

'NO ONE ****S WITH THE IRON LADY,BUSH?Who the **** is bush?I'm the ****in daddy now!'

Crane shot pans away and up from maggie

FADE TO BLACK

[Almar@Cult Labs]

Ye gods the level of entries here is the lowest ever! Does nobody want easy free DVDs any more? It's not like we're giving away Daily Mail cover mounts here!

[The Reaper Man@Cult Labs]

If i'm the only reply do i win?

[Almar@Cult Labs]

Yes you can have all three copies! Come on people - this man must be stopped!

[vincenzo]

I've won 3 titles in the past - plus I bought Venus In Furs - so I think it's only fair that I sit this one out.

Come on everyone. Let's hear from you. You know you want to.