Cult Labs

Go Back   Cult Labs > Members' Club > Competition Corner > Competition Archive > Past Competitions - 2008

Closed Thread
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Old 9th April 2008, 07:40 PM
The Reaper Man@Cult Labs's Avatar
Cult Don
Cult Labs Radio Contributor
Good Trader
Senior Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Glasgow
Default

Yeah her and her Ma were hired to 'decorate' that particular set
  #12  
Old 10th April 2008, 07:26 PM
Sarah@Cult Labs's Avatar
Newsletter Moderator
Forum Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Liverpool
Blog Entries: 2
Default

Alex Curran (or Mrs Stephen Gerrard for those who don't read OK!)

The woman makes my blood boil. No night out in Liverpool is safe for fear she will claw your eyes out with her designer talons. She beats up girls with bottles and then has the nerve to moan when her house gets robbed by armed thugs when she's just announced to the world that she's bought her husband a Cartier watch for Christmas - presumably with his own money.

"She's the bottle hitter from the shitter!"

I'd like to see her choked to death on her own pongy perfume. Or a nice Deep Red style demise involving a necklace and a lift.

PS. I already have Ratman - I'm only entering for the fun of it!
__________________
  #13  
Old 10th April 2008, 07:40 PM
The Reaper Man@Cult Labs's Avatar
Cult Don
Cult Labs Radio Contributor
Good Trader
Senior Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Glasgow
Default

Amy shithouse......the non quitter from the shitter
  #14  
Old 10th April 2008, 07:42 PM
Sarah@Cult Labs's Avatar
Newsletter Moderator
Forum Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Liverpool
Blog Entries: 2
Default

Shitney Spears, anybody?
__________________
  #15  
Old 10th April 2008, 07:57 PM
The Reaper Man@Cult Labs's Avatar
Cult Don
Cult Labs Radio Contributor
Good Trader
Senior Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Glasgow
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahw1984 View Post
Shitney Spears, anybody?
Yep,she's the hubby hitter,mother half witter from the shitter.....
  #16  
Old 11th April 2008, 12:12 PM
Cultist
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: London
Default

A celebrity that I think is a rat? I’m going to go with Roland Rat. I think he is a rat because, well, he’s a rat, isn’t he? And I’m sure he’s still a celebrity. I guarantee that you could get Roland Rat onto a Celebrity Big Brother style show. He’s a legend.

Why does he deserve a mention? Well, in recent years the guy has proved to be something of a menace. During the high times of the 80’s, his parties were legendary. Coke fuelled orgies where the champagne flowed freely and there were wheels of cheese to spare. But times haven’t been so kind to Roland and his gang. Reports of him being found passed out in pools of vomit in London streets had become a regular thing. Let’s also not forget his four month prison term for bottling one of the Tweenies.

Rat is currently being tried for the alleged murder of Big Bird, who Rat is reported to have felt had spoken disparagingly of him in a recent interview with Penthouse. Rat is said to have cornered Big Bird in an alley and taken a chainsaw to his face as he was held down by Rat’s accomplice Kevin the Gerbil, who is due to be tried separately. Also indicted is Errol the Hamster, who is said to have driven the getaway vehicle and to have threatened witnesses who have been cooperating with the police.

Rat also deserves to be slaughtered mercilessly for ‘Rat Rapping’.
__________________
www.twitter.com/MattEdwards83
  #17  
Old 11th April 2008, 04:11 PM
Philleh's Avatar
Cult Acolyte
Good Trader
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Cardiff
Blog Entries: 45
Default

I'm gonna be controversial:

EVERY football player along with their wives, girlfriends, boyfirends and donkeys! And instead of flushing them down the loo, I'd rather empty the contents of said loo on them.
__________________

Welcome to The Deuce
  #18  
Old 12th April 2008, 07:12 PM
The Reaper Man@Cult Labs's Avatar
Cult Don
Cult Labs Radio Contributor
Good Trader
Senior Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Glasgow
Default

Wouldn't be a bad thing mate.........
  #19  
Old 12th April 2008, 08:16 PM
Delirium's Avatar
Cultist on the Rampage
Good Trader
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Default

Alrighty, i'm gonna have a go - because I really want Ratman! ; )

First off though - I like rats. What I don't like however, is z-list celebrities. My god they make me homicidal, and one in particular is Russell Brand - that smug, slimy, wet-wipe makes my flesh crawl. "Get it off my telly" I yell in hysteria, whenever than goofy mug of his slides its way onto my tv screen.

So, welcome to my Giallo - in which scumbag celebrity #7643 Mr Russell Brand, meets his demise at the hands of the mystery "bathroom killer"...

Title: The forbidden murder of a lizard in a z-list celebrity's skin.
Aka, Your toilet has a locked door, and only I have the paper..
Aka, The killer didn't wipe the seat..

It's another day, and something is crawling out of the depths of the sewer. A rat I hear you ask? Nooo.. Rats are cool. This is something much, much worse.. and it's on it's way to work:


Argh! yes it's the cretin from the deep - Russell Brand. Fortunately unbeknownst to him, the black gloved, bathroom killer is already waiting. Waiting to slaughter z-list celebs as they do their business..

The door flies open...


And there the killer is - armed with their trademark black gloves & plunger! (their weapon of choice). They start to plunge Brand to death, but its not working. As a creature from the sewer, Brand can withstand the plunger. Fortunately, the killer comes armed with ACID...



Yay! that did the trick.. bye bye Brand. All thats left is some technicolour goo, and a mop of hair.

But who is the secret killer? What is the dramatic final twist to this tale?



Yes, it's Jade Goody! Killing off her own (as in "obnoxious TV personalities") - her motive? Put out by Brands relative success and breakout into movie "stardom" Goody sees red - and thus decides to off anyone who dares become more popular than she.

Soundtrack by Morricone.

P.s, I hope I didn't show off my brilliant* photoshop skills too much..

*utterly shite..
  #20  
Old 14th April 2008, 09:34 PM
The Reaper Man@Cult Labs's Avatar
Cult Don
Cult Labs Radio Contributor
Good Trader
Senior Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Glasgow
Default

And the winner for best giallo goes to..........
Closed Thread  

Like this? Share it using the links below!

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



Our goal is to keep Cult Labs friendly. If you feel discouraged from posting by certain members' behaviour then you can e-mail us in complete confidence.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
All forum posts are contributed by members of the site; Cult Labs cannot take responsibility for all content posted on the site. If you have an issue with content posted on the site please click the 'report post' button.
Copyright © 2014 Cult Laboratories Ltd. All rights reserved.