Win The Frightened Woman!
 

Time for another comp - this time to win our really rather fabulous The Frightened Woman which stars the utterly gorgeous Dagmar Lassander.

As always the more inventive an entry the more likely you are to win. Now I've often described the Frightened Woman to the uninitiated as "imagine Barbarella but with the addition of the much needed S&M we would have liked to have seen." This ploy works very well btw for getting people to watch the movie!

Which film do you think would have benefitted from a much needed dose of S&M? Name it and your reasons why. If you wish to delve into how this might work well let's hear but let's keep the language inventive and suggestive rather than out and out adult mag readers letters eh? :blush:

Usual rules: Three copies are up for grabs, multiple entries are welcome and this competition closes Sunday midnight BST 11th May 2008.

9 1/2 WEEKS could have used some actual S&M. Instead, like a lot of "erotica" it just dallies with the accouterments of like riding crops and blindfolds in a sappy (though nicely shot and edited) "love story" that is never as intense as it want to pretend it is.

More successful are THE IMAGE in terms of actual S&M acts or Polanski's BITTER MOON in depicting a sadomasochistic relationship with little onscreen kink.

"Pretty Woman" could have used a lot of S&M, because that would have allowed for a more "believable" bond(age) between Julia Roberts' "cinderella hooker" and Richard Gere's bored-with-his-daily-big-business-routine millionaire.:o

forest gump? or maybe retitled forest gimp. Do I win?

look guys, we all know I ve already won this one so don't bother trying, oh and it was my birthday last week and I so want to see this one etc and lets face it forest gimp is quite funny :D

"Batman Returns" has Michael Keaton and Michelle Pfeiffer rolling around/hitting (or was it 'whipping'?) it off in tight leathergear.:o It's no wonder concerned viewers rose to the barricades on the film's initial theatrical run because of the barely hidden "sexual undertones" in this "family friendly" blockbuster fare, prompting Warner to hand duties to the ever studio friendly Joel Schumacher for the next two installments of the "Batman" franchise.
I'd rather preferred it if they had gone all the way with the chemistry between "Batman" and "Catwoman", letting nature take its course...:p

And while we are at it: I have always been wondering if "Matrix: Reloaded" would have been easier to bear if they'd thrown in some kinky S&M orgy in those lengthy, boring bits in "Zion" instead of that silly, embarrassing dancing marathon.... Just a thought....:jest:

Andy Milligan's The Man With Two Heads features an S&M orgy, though here it seems to stand for sex and mutilation! As this was a GP/PG film in the States (hard to believe but there you go) this sequence (and others) were cut down to secure the rating. It goes without saying that the film would have been much better uncut.

Any film with Lynn Lowry would have benefitted from an S&M sequence. Lowry is one of my favourite cult performers and maybe a bit of S&M thrown into the mixture of Sugar Cookies would have helped it, especially as the film does combine sex and violence a little. Mary Woronov in leather, giving Lynn a good thrashing maybe, as an adjunct to her domineering lesbian character?

Amanda Plummer gives an intense perfromance in Butterfly Kiss as a bonkers chain-wrapped lesbian serial killer. The film does deal with S&M imagery but with such an apparently fearless performer as Plummer and Michael Winterbottom as director, this element could perhaps have been taken a good deal further.

I'm going to go with Star Wars. As much as most of us do love Star Wars (I'll call it 'A New Hope' when George Lucas publicly felates Howard the Duck and not a moment before), few could argue that the film wouldn't benefit from an additional scene at the start of the second act involving Darth Vader being dominated by two if his favourite storm troopers.

"Ooooh. Use the force...on my balls" says Darth breathing heavily (although when is he not?).
"Yes sir, you dirty robot-boy, sir" responds a frightened troop, all too aware of Darth's ability to choke him to death even when hog-tied.
"I may be Luke's father" says Darth "but in this situation, you are my Daddy. That's it. Be the Emperor, take me to the dark side"
"I am fighting a rebellion against your nipples, sir" says one of the troopers.
"That's it, destroy my Death Star. Make me your Ewok" screams Darth "Aaarrghh! Wookie! Wookie"
'Wookie' being the safety word, the storm troopers stop.They all tidy themselves up and go back about their day.

Back on the Millenium Falcon, Obi Won senses a dusturbing disturbance in the force...

I think this was actually scripted and was even considered for a part in the infamous Christmas special, but alas, it was never to be.

That might be the funniest thing I've read in months, Matt! :rofl:

I have to agree, that was excellent, Matt. Gave me a laugh, which isn't easy to do, trust me.

Talking of Star Wars, perhaps if we combine the earlier 'gimp' idea and incorporate it here, we could end up with Gimp Wars, where each side unleashes their gimps against each other.

Actually, that's a crap idea. I lose. :rofl: