Weekly Comp - I Spit On Your Grave Double Feature - 06/02/2011 - FINISHED

[mbv]

Jaws
Ashton Kutcher as Brody
Katherine Heigel as Hooper(Brody's ex wife he still loves but everytime they get together it ends in hijinks and general disaster)
Adam Sandler as Quint(Was also married to Hooper but his love for drink and fish drove a wedge between them)
Hugh Grant as the Mayor
Danny 'Fackin' Dyer as Mike Brody(he's a cheeky chappy never far away from trouble, is also 'throwing a facking length' into Hooper who thankfully is not his mum)
Demi Moore as Hooper's wife(She's having an affair with the Mayor and Quint)

This time Brody, Hooper and Quint are joined by the Mayor(I want to be jolly well damn sure that fishy thing is caught) Mike(Am gonna fackin nut that cant outta the fackin Billy ocean) Hoopers wife( I love rowing the boat and hot dogs so I'll go and get some rays in my very revealing two piece)

[Roughale]

How about this one:

The Game

Director: Uwe Boll

Starring: Charlie Sheen, Dennis Quaid, Winona Ryder.

For the obvious reasons - a joke does not get better from explaining, so play along and either get it or not

[pedromonkey]

THE ELEPHANT MAN
Directed by: Paul W.S Anderson
Starring:
Jason Statham as Fredrick Treaves
Danny Trejo as John Merrick
Lance Henriksen as Carr Gomm
Joan Allen as Mrs Kendle

David Lynch's powerful and Emotional original is updated for the 21st century and transported from victorian England to upstate New York where Side show freak John Merrick (Danny Trejo) is spotted by surgeon Jason Statham who decides that he can 'rebuild him' and is turned into the ultimate killing machine with the strength of 10 elephants, what ensues is 110 minutes of Car chases and shoot outs through the bustling streets of New York and an emotional 20 minute monologue by Trejo about the perils of being **** ugly.

[trouserpress]

I'm going to take it easy this week, but I couldn't resist just doing this one:

[bruty]

Star Wars

Directed by Michael Bay

Still not sure if this would be a good or bad remake - would imagine very very bad!

Will come up with the stars later, but would imagine Shia LeBouef as Luke Skywalker is a fair start!

[Colonel Cabbage]

'REAR WINDOW' in retro-fitted 3D.

Directed by Uwe Boll, produced by Michael Bay.

Starring: Justin Beiber (doing a Jimmy Stuart impression), Miley Cyrus, and Michael Jackson (put together using footage from his music videos, a la Oliver Reed in Gladiator).

Changes include: afterburners on Jimmy Stuart's wheelchair (needed for the car chase), a rocket launcher in the leg cast, and the dead dog is now a Great Dane (which predicts the impending meteor strike).

Originally intended to be one film, it will be decided that with all the extra time need for the special effects and explosions that it will be split into three, and named the 'Windows of Fire' trilogy.

For merchandise you can buy the wheelchair, the rocket-launcher leg cast, binoculars, a dead dog, or the camera with a spare pack of flash bulbs.

[pedromonkey]

The Simpsons Movie
Directed by: Trey Parker
Written By: Trey Parker & Matt Stone
Starring: Trey Parker, Matt Stone

The Simpsons Movie remake is brought to us by the makers of South Park, Who take the same plot of The Simpsons Movie but the action is transplanted to south Park with the Marsh's, Stan, Sharon, Shelly and Randy. It follows the turbulent breakup and the father and son relationship. This being South Park none of the film is for younger viewers, with course language and random pop culture references. The Simpsons Movie remake is consistently engaging, thought provoking and constantly hilarious...which the original was not..

[JoeTerror]

Get the latest Flash Player to see this player.

Directed by Christopher Nolan and music by Moby

Brainstorm 3D

A team of scientists invents "The Hat", a helmet that allows sensations to be read from a person's brain and written to tape so that others can experience them. The team includes estranged husband-and-wife, Michael and Karen Brace (Christian Bale and Ellen Page), and Michael's colleague Lillian Reynolds (Melissa Leo).

Tensions increase as the possibilities for abuse become clear. Lillian is pressured by backers to admit a former colleague, Gordon Forbes (Jeff Bridges), to the team whom she sees as a hack and part of the military industrial complex. She refuses to have the invention taken over for military use and an argument ensues. This stress, coupled with the cumulative effects of her lifestyle, causes Lillian to suffer a heart attack while working alone. As she dies she records her experience. This leads to the technology's inventor (Christian Bale) who must unlock the mysteries of his colleague's suspicious demise and to find out what really happens when we die and the afterlife.

[Drugula]

BAD TASTE
Directed by Sam Raimi

and

EVIL DEAD
Directed by 90's Peter Jackson

NOW THAT WOULD BE AN INTERESTING DOUBLE PROGRAM

[darthelvis]

Just recorded the below advert for Star Wars The Musical but sadly it's mp4 format and I can't attach. Here is the text anyway for my musical mentioned earlier....



From the hit movie STAR WARS THE MUSICAL comes the soundtrack album the Galaxy has been waiting for!

Featuring all the hit songs from the remake sensation that caused such a storm even the Outer Rim felt the impact, including the beautiful Old Ben


Old Ben
The Two of us need hurt no more
These are not the droids you’re looking for


The heart lifting Who Will Buy


Who will buy my second hand speeder
I need to go
learn the ways of the force .
Me, oh my!
I don't want to lose it
So what am I to do
To sell this heap to you
There must be someone who will buy


and the stirring Don’t Cry for me Alderan


Don’t Cry for me Alderan
The truth is I’m not your Princess
I am the daughter of Darth Vader
He’ll choke your lights out
If you try and **** us!


Available now from all good record stores in a galaxy far far away!