Cult Labs - The Doctor Who Thread

Doctor Who over the years: Episode quotes

Extremis

Rafando: Death is an increasing problem. With over a billion intelligent species active in this galaxy alone, it is an ever-greater challenge to know how to kill all of them. On this planet, we are proud to serve as executioners to every living thing. The destruction of a Time Lord, however, is a particular honour. (The Doctor is escorted to a dais by a lakeside, outside a castle. It has a copper ball topped column at each corner.) This technology is precisely calibrated. As you can see, it will stop both hearts, all three brain stems, and deliver a cellular shock wave that will permanently disable regenerative ability.
The Doctor: I know how it works.
Rafando: You certainly will in a moment. Following termination, the body will be placed in a Quantum Fold chamber, under constant guard for no less than a thousand years. In case of, shall we say, relapses. Life can be a cunning enemy. An additional stipulation of the Fatality Index is that the sentence must be carried out by another Time Lord. Apologies for our choice, but your people are not easy to come by.
(A door behind the Doctor opens, and a certain someone steps through.)
Missy: Oh! Doctor! I didn't expect you. Thought you'd retired. Domestic bliss on Darillium, that's the word among the Daleks. What happened? Oh, I see. My condolences.
(She gestures towards the dais. The Doctor walks to the side by the lake.)
Rafando: The prisoner will kneel.
(No one moves. Rafando nods, and two guards move to take Missy's arms.)
Missy: Right. (She steps up onto the dais.) Thank you. (Missy kneels.)

*************************************************

Angelo: The Veritas is a short document. A few pages only. And yet, it contains a secret that drives all who know it to destroy themselves.
The Doctor: Confirmed suicides? All of them?
Angelo: In every case. Beyond doubt.
The Doctor: All bodies recovered?
Angelo: Except one, but we naturally assumed that he had
The Doctor: Assume nothing. Assumption makes an ass out of you, and umption. Cardinal, one of your translators is missing.
Angelo: Doctor, those translators were devout. Believers. They took their own lives in the knowledge that suicide is a mortal sin. They read the Veritas and chose Hell.

*************************************************

Rafando: Have you requested a priest?
(A cowled figure is approaching.)
Missy: Well, I haven't.
(The figure gestures to the Doctor to approach.)
The Doctor: Apparently, I have.
Rafando: I shall seek consultation. (He uses his wrist computer.) (Missy sighs and sits back on her heels.) There are four hundred and twelve precedents in the Fatality Index. Divine intervention, therefore, is permitted for a maximum of five minutes.
Missy: Five minutes.
Rafando: The executioner may now discuss his immortal soul and any peril thereunto.
(The Doctor walks over to the cowled figure.)
Figure: Greetings, sinner. Only in darkness are we revealed.
The Doctor: I never sent for you.
Figure: Goodness is not goodness that seeks advantage. Good is good in the final hour, in the deepest pit without hope, without witness, without reward. Virtue is only virtue in extremis. This is what he believes, and this is the reason above all, I love him. My husband. My madman in a box. My Doctor. (The figure is reading from a diary with a Tardis-style cover. Then he pulls back the cowl to reveal himself. It is Nardole) Your missus wouldn't approve.
The Doctor: How the hell did you get here?
Nardole: Followed you from Darillium, on the explicit orders of your late wife, River Song. Warning, I have full permission to kick your arse.

************************************************** *

Angelo: The very centre of the Haereticum. Home of the Veritas for over a thousand years.
The Doctor: Truth in the heart of heresy.
Angelo: And death in the heart of truth.
Nardole: You'd be wizard at writing Christmas crackers, you two.

**************************************************

Nardole: Bill, stay close by me, there's a man with a gun. Uh-uh-uh.
(Bill stops and Nardole walks ahead of her.)
Bill: Yeah, you don't actually have to do that. In fact, don't you dare do that.
(She walks ahead of him, and he touches her arm to stop her.)
Nardole: Uh-uh-uh, Bill. You're to walk behind me now, like the Doctor said.
Bill: Yeah, totally not happening.
(Nardole faces Bill.)
Nardole: Okay, Bill. Miss Potts. (He removes his spectacles and gets very serious.) I am the only person you have ever met, or ever will meet, who is officially licensed to kick the Doctor's arse. I will happily do the same to you, in the event that you do not align yourself with any instructions I have issued which I personally judge to be in the best interests of your safety and survival. (Spectacles back on, and his voice goes back up a few tones.) Okay, Bill?
Bill: Okay.
Nardole: Good-o!
(They walk on, Bill behind Nardole.)
Bill: Nardole, are you secretly a badass?
Nardole: Nothing secret about it, baby doll

************************************************

(The two guards step forward to remove Missy's body.)
Missy: Oi! Get off. Get off! I've just been executed. Show a little respect.
Rafando: She's, she's alive.
Missy: I was just a bit sleepy, all right? Let's not split hairs. Shut up. Night-night.
(Missy closes her eyes again.)
The Doctor: Of course she's not dead. She's a friend of mine. I may have fiddled with your wiring a little bit.
Rafando: You swore an oath.
The Doctor: I swore an oath I'd look after her body for a thousand years. Nobody mentioned dead.
Rafando: You cannot do this. You will not leave this planet alive.
The Doctor: Do me a favour. The Fatality Index. Look up The Doctor.
Rafando: You have an entry, just like any other sentient being.
The Doctor: Under Cause Of Death.
(Rafando works his wrist computer. It ticks rapidly as it runs through all matching entries.)
Rafando: You do seem to have an impressive record of fatalities credited to you. (The ticking keeps going, and speeds up.) A truly remarkable record. (The guards retreat.) Where are you going? He's unarmed! You *are* unarmed?
The Doctor: Always.
(The wrist computer still hasn't stopped scrolling through.)
Rafando: You stand alone?
The Doctor: Often.
Rafando: You're the one who should be afraid.
The Doctor: Never.
Rafando: Have a nice day, then.