Super Comp - Win Every Prisoner: Cell Block H Boxset Out Now! - 07/12/11 - FINISHED

[fozziecub]

While Sheperds Watched

While Lizzie Washed her Socks at Night
Doreen gave out a yell
Frankie had come back to life
and floated in her cell

Door, she said, Oh do not dread
It's me, Frankie, your love
You'll cry, you'll scream but carry on
Teddy's in the loony bin

Doyle, a voice called down the hall
You bloody lowsy git
Who's that, a screw, you bet it is
Vera Vinegar Tits

Well shocking things did happen then
Frankie floated off
A punch, a biff echoed down the hall
Twas Bea and Mutton Chops

O Misery, someones escaped
Old Barrys been knocked out
Fletch the Letch and Old Po Face
Have jsut been knocked about

It was Mon, all along she sang
Lizzie has drained the sink
The Sally Ann had helped her plan
How to tint her drink,

Bloody ripper!

[Jamgood]

To the tune of Slade's Merry Xmas Everyone

I would love to win these Prisoner DVDs
I am poor so give them to me please.
I could watch Bea pressing linen
Doreen and Frankie escape
And Lizzie make some grog in her old age

So here’s my competition entry
It should be the only one
To win a set of Prisoner DVDs
With a silly song…….on……..ong!

I’ll be waiting for my Prisoner to arrive
I’ll be going through the series day and night
Watch Myra kill her husband
And Judys half house wane
And Susie Driscoll go off on the game

So here’s my piece for revision
My entry to the comp
To win a set of Prisoner DVDs
With a silly song…….on……..ong!

What will Vera do when she catches Meg in with the Governor
Ah – ha!!!!!!!

If I don’t win this competition I will cry
I want to watch the girls locked up inside
Shower before muster
Work the laundry every day
These DVDs would keep my wife at bay

So here it is, Merry Christmas
Hope you liked my silly song
To win this set of Prisoner DVDs
With a Slade song can’t be wrong….on….ong!

[FrankenSuzy]

We wish you a Merry Christmas!
(Well, ok so that's maybe a lie! -
Animals like you don't deserve christmas
And so it's pointless to even try)

You can put up your decs in the rec room;
Take your silly requests right to the top!
But I'm going to tell Mrs Davidson what *I* think
And I'll see that she makes it all stop

Your families won't try and visit you
They have much better places to go
And I'll see that your Christmas is as rotten as you
I, Miss Bennett, tell you so.

[murat.k]

Its Christmas time
Vinegars on wine,
Joan is still scheming,
Meg is just fine.

Smiths on the steam press,
and Dors still a big mess,
Things are still bleak,
slow as a, wet week

Its christmas time
stand on the white line
you have been charged
soliciting, this time

Just like old Lizzie
you have been busy
6 months will fly
you dont have to cry

my take on Mistletoe and wine

Love thisssss show x

[x0xKittenx0x]

This is my take on "Fairy Tail of New York"
Sang by Smith and Ferguson

Smith:

It was Christmas Eve screw
Inside the slammer
And Lizzie said to me, she won't see another one
And then she sang a song
And this one’s just for you
I turned my face away
And schemed about you

Got on a lucky plan
Came in my head at ten
I've got a feeling
This year's for me not you
So Happy Christmas
I hate you Ferguson
I can see a better time
When all my dreams come true

Ferguson:

They've got cons by the tons
And they all start out bold
But the nights go right through you
And the foods always cold
When you first hit my head
On a cold Christmas Eve
You promised me
Death was soon waiting for me


You were way off

Smith:

You’re a freak
And a dyke every day of the week

Smith and Ferguson:

When the screws finished shouting
We were cat-calling for more
Screws they were swinging,
All the cons they were singing
We fought in a corner
Then argued all the night

The boys of the RIOT squad
Were singing "I predict a riot"
And they all came charging in
For Christmas day

Ferguson:

You’re a crim,
You're a con

Smith:

You're an old slut and a dyke
Lying there almost dead with a bump on your head

Ferguson:

You’re a denim clad nutter
You belong in the gutter
Happy Christmas like hell
I pray God it's not well

Smith and Ferguson:

The boys of the RIOT squad
Were singing "I predict a riot"
And they all came charging in
For Christmas day

Smith:

I could have been someone

Ferguson:

Well so could anyone
You took my keys from me

Smith:

I kept them with me babe
I put them with my own
Can't make it all alone
I've got my mates around me

Smith and Ferguson:

The boys of the RIOT squad
Were singing "I predict a riot"
And they all came charging in
For Christmas day

[iluvdvds@Cult Labs]

All these entries are so great! You guys and gals sure are going to make this one tough competition to judge!

Remember, this ends on Monday, so if you want to stick another one up this weekend - go for it! It may be the winning entry!

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!

[Gold6082]

song 1 Fairytale of New York

It was christmas eve Bitch,
In The Pound
Mr Bridges Said to me,
you won't live to see another one,
Lizzie sang a song,
Nola sold some bong
I turned my arse away
and dreamed about screws

Kay whites addiction
came in at 10 to one,
I got a feeling this year will be crap,
so Happy shitmas
I hate you Vera,
I see a better time,
when someone runs over you.


They got Tits big as Melons,
The freak sucks Lemons,
When Mr Murphy was framed,
we yelled out for more,
Lizzie was singing,
the Numbers game was winning,
Doreen stood on the corner,
The freak called her a whore.


you're a dyke, on a trike
a lagger with swagger,
laying there on your back,
is more than I can hack,
you liar you liar,
I'll put you in the dryer
Happy christmas The **ck
I wish you good luck


The Boys of Woodridge seedy Choir,
were singing sod you all,
and the bells were ringing out for muster on christmas day.


I could of been on drugs,
I could of made some mugs,
you took my dreams from me
When I first blackmailed you.
I cut the Freaks throat,
I cut Meg's uniform,
can't get no parole,
until I build lego around you


The Boys of Woodridge seedy Choir,
were singing sod you all,
and the bells were ringing out for muster on christmas day.



song 2

A winters tale

The night is cold and dark,
maybe the freak locked the door,
anyway the snow has covered up vera's Face
and we can stop being sick anymore,
Good luck I wish you well,
With every hooker you sell,
but everybody knows
it's hard to get paroled at this time of year.

It was only a screws tale,
only a screws tale,
and why should Po Face take notice
of Reb's whinging,
it was a hate word beginning with C
the insult meant alot to me,
on a worldwide scale,
I am sure The Freak breeds snails

[Vinegarfreak]

DECK THE HALLS WITH GROG BY LIZZIE
FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
TIS THE SEASON TO IMPRISON
FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

DON WE NOW OUR DENIM DRESSES
FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
TROLL THE ANCIENT LAUNDRY STEAM PRESS
FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

SEE THE BLAZING FIRE AT WENTWORTH
FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
STRIKE THE BITCH AND HANG THE LAGGER
FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

FOLLOW ME INTO THE REC ROOM
FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
WHILE I TELL THEE OF ESCAPE PLANS
FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

FAST AWAY THE TIME IN SOLITARY
FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
HAIL THE NEW SCREWS, GUVS AND INMATES
FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

SING WE JOYOUS ON THE INSIDE
FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
HEEDLESS OF THE FREAKS BLACK GLOVES
FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

[iluvdvds@Cult Labs]

I knew I'd get some brilliant entries for this competition but I had NOO idea how hard it would be to judge it!

Seriously, for the past half hour or more I have been flipping back and forth through this thread to figure out the winners and runner-ups. I finally managed to work it out.

And here it is...

The ultimate winner who has just won themsleves all 10 volumes is...

Prisonerlou's Twas A Night In H - great fun spoof of the Classic Xmas rhyme - the final verse had me howling!

And the three runners up are (in no particular order)..


Remember the runner ups get to pick any one volume box set they like -


Gold6082's Fairytale in Cell Block H / Winter's Tale

Jamgood's Merry Xmas Everybody

Bigandya's Silent Nifght, Wentworth At Night!

Well done to everyone who entered - this was quite possibly the hardest comp I've ever had to judge! So well done to everyone!

Could the winner/runner-ups please PM (Private Message) me their address pleease?

Runner-Ups - don't forget to pick the volume you'd like! Send me 3 sets you'd like and I'll send you one of those (just in case something's not in stock).

I'm going into the office tomorrow morning so please message me before then! If not, don't worry, I'm heading into the office again late January so it may be a couple of weeks until they are sent out (if I dont receieve your address by tomorrow), but what with Xmas and the hecticness of January it shouldnt make toooo much difference - hopefully.

Well done!

Kyle

[Jamgood]

Awesome. Congratulations to the winner.