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#1
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Super Comp - Win Every Prisoner: Cell Block H Boxset Out Now! - 07/12/11 - FINISHED
Hello Cell Block H fans! Since it's Christmas time, Cult Labs are in the giving mood (check out the Daily Comps and the epic Twilight Zone comps for prove!) so here's a competition to spoil all you Prisoner fans, soon-to-be Prisoner fans or those who knows a Prisoner fan and would like to give them a truly awesome prize. One lucky person will win all 10 Prisoner volumes that have already been released so far! Three runner ups will get to pick a volume of their choice (between volumes 1-10). I'll be going into London before Christmas to send these out so, depending on the post, the winners should have theirs in time for the big day. All of these could be YOURS! AND But how do you win such an incredible prize? Well, to get us in the Christmas spirit all you have to do is come up with a Prisoner themed Christmas rhyme. Perhaps a Cell Block H version of Jingle Bells, or maybe The Freak Is Coming To Town? What about an Xmas carol for Vinegar Tits? Simply, post yours up below - it's just a bit of fun. Then, the funniest enty will be selected when the competition closes (on Monday the 19th) and they'll win themseleves ALL 10 boxsets to do with them what they like. Three runners up will also get a volume of their choice too. You can enter as many times as you like - the more you enter, the more chance you have of winning. Only restriction is that this competition is open only to UK residents. So, what are you waiting for?! GOOD LUCK! Kyle
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#2
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Jingle Cells, Jingle Cells Jingle all the way With Bea, the Freak and Lizzie's prune face We hope you enjoy your stay! (ok, I'll do better later, I'm sure...) |
#3
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A great start to the comp, Paul! Catchy too! I was expecting it to be 'Jingle Cells, Lizzy Smells'
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#4
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O little prison called Wentworth How still we see thee lie As prisoners we all Hate this place And watch our lives pass by Yet locked inside our dark cells As another night begins We lay back And ponder The reasons for our sins All of us are different But here we're all the same Prisoners in Cell Block H Playing a waiting game Some will die and some are freed And some will never leave But all of us Are on DVD So you don't have to grieve |
#5
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I like that bigandya, but the rules state it has to be "funny". Can I ask the mods to clarify on the rules given the last Prisoner comp fiasco - what do you mean by "funny" and does the "rhyme" have to be based on a known Christmas jingle/rhyme/song or does it just need to rhyme or be poetic? |
#6
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You'd better watch out, you'd better not cry You'd better be good, I'm telling you why Cos the Freak is coming to town Cos the Freak is coming to town Cos the Freak is coming to town! She knows if you've been dealing She knows if you've been stealing She knows if you're a bad woman So be good for goodness sake. (My take on Santa Claus is Coming to Town) |
#7
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Good questions, Prisoner. 'Funny' is a...funny thing. The winner will be the one that is both entertaining, fun, etc - effort shines through a lot which is always going to give you brownie points! The entries so far are just what I'm looking for - brilliant stuff! Can you top it? :P As for being based on Christmas songs, well it'll be nice if the entries were based on a Christmas rhyme/song/carol, but it's not the end of the world if not. Of course, since it is nearly Christmas, I'm in the Christmassy mood, so entries that are a take on a well known festive tune will also be looked upon more favourably than one without! Oh, and just to clarify (even more! ), all the stock is in the office waiting to be sent out. I am planning on going to London just before Christmas - a good few days - so the winner and runner ups WILL recieve the DVDs not long after the competition has ended. Any more questions, feel free to ask. Basically just have some fun and be creative!
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#8
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The twelve days at wentworth on the first day at wentworth bea smith gave to me a trip to the rec room for tea on the second day at wentworth lizzie gave to me two bottles of grog and a trip to the rec room for tea on the third day at wentworth judy gave to me three wise words two bottles of grog and a trip to the rec room for tea on the fourth day at wentworth doreen gave to me four forged cheques three wise words two bottles of grog and a trip to the rec room for tea on the fifth day at wentworth ferguson gave to me five hard bashings four forged cheques three wise words two bottles of grog and a trip to the rec room for tea on the sixth day at wentworth dave' o gave to me six days added sentence five hard bashings four forged cheques three wise words two bottles of grog and a trip to the rec room for tea on the seventh day at wentworth mrs morris gave to me seven chores of cleaning six days added sentence five hard bashings four forged cheques three wise words two bottles of grog and a trip to the rec room for tea on the eighth day at wentworth pixie gave to me eight marrige proposals seven chores of cleaning six days added sentence five hard bashings four forged cheques three wise words two bottles of grog and a trip to the rec room for tea on the ninth day at wentworth mckenzie gave to me nine fat funny fags eight marrige proposals seven chores of cleaning six days added sentence five hard bashings four forged cheques three wise words two bottles of grog and a trip to the rec room for tea on the tenth day at wentworth vera gave to me ten trips to the dunny nine fat funny fags eight marrige proposals seven chores of cleaning six days added sentence five hard bashings four forged cheques three wise words two bottles of grog and a trip to the rec room for tea on the eleventh day at wentworth mr douglas gave to me eleven vj hearings ten trips to the dunny nine fat funny fags eight marrige proposals seven chores of cleaning six days added sentence five hard bashings four forged cheques three wise words two bottles of grog and a trip to the rec room for tea on the twelfth day at wentworth sonia gave to me twelve icy glares eleven vj hearings ten trips to the dunny nine fat funny fags eight marrige proposals seven chores of cleaning six days added sentence five hard bashings four forged cheques three wise words two bottles of grog and a trip to the rec room for tea |
#9
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Locked Away with a Stranger (to the tune of Away in a Manger)
Locked away in old Wentworth, On a lumpy old bed, Young wonky Warner, In the morning she'll be dead, For psychopathic Frankie, Looks down where she lay, and she is obsessive, and creepy and gay. The cell lights are lowing, But then Bea Smith awakes, And punches dear Frankie, And her nose does break, I love thee dear Bea Smith, You're the top dog that's why, And you'll cover my back, until morning is night. Be near me dear Lizzie, For you've always got fags, And you sometimes get grog, and you would never lag. Bless all the dear inmates, In Erica's tender care, And keep me in Cell Block H, So I can die there. |
#10
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my only entry I havent seen cell block for 20 years so hope I remembered the names
On the first day of Christmas my cellmates gave to me, a nail file in a fruit cake on the second day of Christmas my cellmates stole for me 2 bottles of Grog, and a nail file in a fruit cake. On the 3rd day of Christmas my cellmates found for me, 3 packs of contraband, 2 bottles of grog and a nail file in a fruit cake On the 4th day of Christmas my cellmates gave to me 4 laggers lagging, 3 packs of contraband, 2 bottles of grog and a nail file in a fruit cake. On the 5th day of Christmas my cellmates gave to me, 5 steam presses, 4 laggers lagging ,3 packs of contraband, 2 bottles of grog and a nail file in a fruit cake. On the 6th day of Christmas my cellmates stole from me 6 Aussie Dollars, 5 Steam presses, 4 laggers lagging, 3 packs of contraband 2 bottles of Grog and a nail file in a fruit cake On the 7th day of Christmas my cellmates threatened me(with) 7 nights with Stewart, 6 Aussie Dollars,5 Steam Presses,4 laggers lagging 3 packs of contraband, 2 bottles of grog and nail file in a fruit cake. On the 8th day of Christmas my cellmates blackmailed me,(with) 8 days in the pound, 7 nights with Stewart, 6 Aussie Dollars, 5 steam presses, 4 laggers lagging, 3 packs of contraband ,2 bottles of grog and a nail file in a fruit cake. On the 9th day of Christmas Joan ferguson gave to me, 9 charges of insubordination,8 days in the pound, 7 nights with Stewart,6 Aussie Dollars, 5 steam presses, 4 laggers lagging,3 packs of contraband 2, bottles of grog and a nail file in a fruit cake. On the 10th day of Christmas Erica gave to me, 10 free passes for 9 charges of insubordination, 8 days in the pound , 7 nights with Stewart, 6 Aussie dollars.5 Steam presses..4 laggers lagging 3 packs of contraband, 2 botttles of Grog and a nail file in a fruit cake. On the 11th day of Christmas Vera Bennett gave to me, 11 trumped up charges, 10 Free passes for 9 charges of insubordination,8 days in the pound, 7 nights with Stewart, 6 Aussie dollars, 5 Steam presses.4 laggers lagging, 3 packs of contraband , 2 bottles of grog and a nail file in a fruit cake. On the 12th day of Christmas, Cell block H gave to me, 12 various DVD's I'd won, 11 trumped up charges, 10 Free passes for 9 charges of insubordination,8 days in the pound, 7 nights with Stewart, 6 Aussie dollars, 5 Steam presses. 4 laggers lagging, 3 packs of contraband , 2 bottles of grog and a nail file in a fruit cake. |
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