Super Comp - Win Every Prisoner: Cell Block H Boxset Out Now! - 07/12/11 - FINISHED
 

Hello Cell Block H fans! Since it's Christmas time, Cult Labs are in the giving mood (check out the Daily Comps and the epic Twilight Zone comps for prove!) so here's a competition to spoil all you Prisoner fans, soon-to-be Prisoner fans or those who knows a Prisoner fan and would like to give them a truly awesome prize.

One lucky person will win all 10 Prisoner volumes that have already been released so far! Three runner ups will get to pick a volume of their choice (between volumes 1-10). I'll be going into London before Christmas to send these out so, depending on the post, the winners should have theirs in time for the big day.

All of these could be YOURS!


But how do you win such an incredible prize?

Well, to get us in the Christmas spirit all you have to do is come up with a Prisoner themed Christmas rhyme. Perhaps a Cell Block H version of Jingle Bells, or maybe The Freak Is Coming To Town? What about an Xmas carol for Vinegar Tits?

Simply, post yours up below - it's just a bit of fun. Then, the funniest enty will be selected when the competition closes (on Monday the 19th) and they'll win themseleves ALL 10 boxsets to do with them what they like. Three runners up will also get a volume of their choice too.

You can enter as many times as you like - the more you enter, the more chance you have of winning. Only restriction is that this competition is open only to UK residents.

So, what are you waiting for?!

GOOD LUCK!

Kyle :)

Jingle Cells, Jingle Cells
Jingle all the way
With Bea, the Freak and Lizzie's prune face
We hope you enjoy your stay!


(ok, I'll do better later, I'm sure...)

:pound: A great start to the comp, Paul! Catchy too! I was expecting it to be 'Jingle Cells, Lizzy Smells' :laugh:

O little prison called Wentworth
How still we see thee lie
As prisoners we all
Hate this place
And watch our lives pass by

Yet locked inside our dark cells
As another night begins
We lay back
And ponder
The reasons for our sins

All of us are different
But here we're all the same
Prisoners in
Cell Block H
Playing a waiting game

Some will die and some are freed
And some will never leave
But all of us
Are on DVD
So you don't have to grieve

I like that bigandya, but the rules state it has to be "funny".

Can I ask the mods to clarify on the rules given the last Prisoner comp fiasco - what do you mean by "funny" and does the "rhyme" have to be based on a known Christmas jingle/rhyme/song or does it just need to rhyme or be poetic?

:)

You'd better watch out, you'd better not cry
You'd better be good, I'm telling you why
Cos the Freak is coming to town
Cos the Freak is coming to town
Cos the Freak is coming to town!

She knows if you've been dealing
She knows if you've been stealing
She knows if you're a bad woman
So be good for goodness sake.

(My take on Santa Claus is Coming to Town)

Good questions, Prisoner.

'Funny' is a...funny thing. The winner will be the one that is both entertaining, fun, etc - effort shines through a lot which is always going to give you brownie points! The entries so far are just what I'm looking for - brilliant stuff! Can you top it? :P

As for being based on Christmas songs, well it'll be nice if the entries were based on a Christmas rhyme/song/carol, but it's not the end of the world if not. Of course, since it is nearly Christmas, I'm in the Christmassy mood, so entries that are a take on a well known festive tune will also be looked upon more favourably than one without! :)

Oh, and just to clarify (even more! :laugh:), all the stock is in the office waiting to be sent out. I am planning on going to London just before Christmas - a good few days - so the winner and runner ups WILL recieve the DVDs not long after the competition has ended.

Any more questions, feel free to ask.

Basically just have some fun and be creative! :)

The twelve days at wentworth

on the first day at wentworth
bea smith gave to me
a trip to the rec room for tea

on the second day at wentworth
lizzie gave to me
two bottles of grog
and a trip to the rec room for tea

on the third day at wentworth
judy gave to me
three wise words
two bottles of grog
and a trip to the rec room for tea

on the fourth day at wentworth
doreen gave to me
four forged cheques
three wise words
two bottles of grog
and a trip to the rec room for tea

on the fifth day at wentworth
ferguson gave to me
five hard bashings
four forged cheques
three wise words
two bottles of grog
and a trip to the rec room for tea

on the sixth day at wentworth
dave' o gave to me
six days added sentence
five hard bashings
four forged cheques
three wise words
two bottles of grog
and a trip to the rec room for tea

on the seventh day at wentworth
mrs morris gave to me
seven chores of cleaning
six days added sentence
five hard bashings
four forged cheques
three wise words
two bottles of grog
and a trip to the rec room for tea

on the eighth day at wentworth
pixie gave to me
eight marrige proposals
seven chores of cleaning
six days added sentence
five hard bashings
four forged cheques
three wise words
two bottles of grog
and a trip to the rec room for tea

on the ninth day at wentworth
mckenzie gave to me
nine fat funny fags
eight marrige proposals
seven chores of cleaning
six days added sentence
five hard bashings
four forged cheques
three wise words
two bottles of grog
and a trip to the rec room for tea

on the tenth day at wentworth
vera gave to me
ten trips to the dunny
nine fat funny fags
eight marrige proposals
seven chores of cleaning
six days added sentence
five hard bashings
four forged cheques
three wise words
two bottles of grog
and a trip to the rec room for tea

on the eleventh day at wentworth
mr douglas gave to me
eleven vj hearings
ten trips to the dunny
nine fat funny fags
eight marrige proposals
seven chores of cleaning
six days added sentence
five hard bashings
four forged cheques
three wise words
two bottles of grog
and a trip to the rec room for tea

on the twelfth day at wentworth
sonia gave to me
twelve icy glares
eleven vj hearings
ten trips to the dunny
nine fat funny fags
eight marrige proposals
seven chores of cleaning
six days added sentence
five hard bashings
four forged cheques
three wise words
two bottles of grog
and a trip to the rec room for tea

Locked Away with a Stranger (to the tune of Away in a Manger)
 

Locked away in old Wentworth,
On a lumpy old bed,
Young wonky Warner,
In the morning she'll be dead,
For psychopathic Frankie,

Looks down where she lay,
and she is obsessive,
and creepy and gay.

The cell lights are lowing,
But then Bea Smith awakes,
And punches dear Frankie,
And her nose does break,

I love thee dear Bea Smith,
You're the top dog that's why,
And you'll cover my back,
until morning is night.

Be near me dear Lizzie,
For you've always got fags,
And you sometimes get grog,
and you would never lag.

Bless all the dear inmates,
In Erica's tender care,
And keep me in Cell Block H,
So I can die there.

my only entry I havent seen cell block for 20 years so hope I remembered the names
 

On the first day of Christmas my cellmates gave to me, a nail file in a fruit cake
on the second day of Christmas my cellmates stole for me 2 bottles of Grog, and a nail file in a fruit cake.
On the 3rd day of Christmas my cellmates found for me, 3 packs of contraband, 2 bottles of grog and a nail file in a fruit cake
On the 4th day of Christmas my cellmates gave to me 4 laggers lagging, 3 packs of contraband, 2 bottles of grog and a nail file in a fruit cake.
On the 5th day of Christmas my cellmates gave to me, 5 steam presses, 4 laggers lagging ,3 packs of contraband, 2 bottles of grog and a nail file in a fruit cake.

On the 6th day of Christmas my cellmates stole from me 6 Aussie Dollars, 5 Steam presses, 4 laggers lagging, 3 packs of contraband 2 bottles of Grog and a nail file in a fruit cake
On the 7th day of Christmas my cellmates threatened me(with) 7 nights with Stewart, 6 Aussie Dollars,5 Steam Presses,4 laggers lagging 3 packs of contraband, 2 bottles of grog and nail file in a fruit cake.
On the 8th day of Christmas my cellmates blackmailed me,(with) 8 days in the pound, 7 nights with Stewart, 6 Aussie Dollars, 5 steam presses, 4 laggers lagging, 3 packs of contraband ,2 bottles of grog and a nail file in a fruit cake.
On the 9th day of Christmas Joan ferguson gave to me, 9 charges of insubordination,8 days in the pound, 7 nights with Stewart,6 Aussie Dollars, 5 steam presses, 4 laggers lagging,3 packs of contraband 2, bottles of grog and a nail file in a fruit cake.
On the 10th day of Christmas Erica gave to me, 10 free passes for 9 charges of insubordination, 8 days in the pound , 7 nights with Stewart, 6 Aussie dollars.5 Steam presses..4 laggers lagging 3 packs of contraband, 2 botttles of Grog and a nail file in a fruit cake.
On the 11th day of Christmas Vera Bennett gave to me, 11 trumped up charges, 10 Free passes for 9 charges of insubordination,8 days in the pound, 7 nights with Stewart, 6 Aussie dollars, 5 Steam presses.4 laggers lagging, 3 packs of contraband , 2 bottles of grog and a nail file in a fruit cake.

On the 12th day of Christmas, Cell block H gave to me, 12 various DVD's I'd won, 11 trumped up charges, 10 Free passes for 9 charges of insubordination,8 days in the pound, 7 nights with Stewart, 6 Aussie dollars, 5 Steam presses. 4 laggers lagging, 3 packs of contraband , 2 bottles of grog and a nail file in a fruit cake.:rockon: