SQUARE ROOT OF 964 PINOCCHIO- Much as I'm in favour of films based around the idea of a failed sex robot screaming whilst running down a street backwards, I have to say that watching this just put me to sleep. Well, I thought you were only ever allowed to watch harsh Japanese underground cyberpunk at 04.00 in the morning - evidently this notion is total bollocks. When I did emerge from my slumber at one point, the wonders of hypnagogia made me believe for a split second that I was watching a really bad eighties action flick featuring Jigsaw's Mr Noseybonk. I really wish that that had been the case, and now feel incredibly frustrated and angry that no such film actually exists. If it did exist, it would probably make explicit all Mssr Noseybonk's latent perviness and be hugely questionable or something, but it would be better than having a dream about a massive dog eating a very neat cucumber sandwich, which is what happened to me after I turned my DVD player off. Anyway, I'm just letting you know all this to make it clear that trying to watch this movie did not in any way make me a better or more worthwhile person, OK?
ZOMBIE FLESHEATERS 2 - A sensible film, at last. Although not a very good one, unless you're into the setting sun of late 80s Italian horror. I am, so I take it all back, it's great on a fun level and contains at least two jaw droppingly over the top moments involving flying zombie heads and a really vicious undead womb dweller. It's not Fulci at his finest, but it rattles and spurts along well enough for me.
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