A celebrity that I think is a rat? I’m going to go with Roland Rat. I think he is a rat because, well, he’s a rat, isn’t he? And I’m sure he’s still a celebrity. I guarantee that you could get Roland Rat onto a Celebrity Big Brother style show. He’s a legend.
Why does he deserve a mention? Well, in recent years the guy has proved to be something of a menace. During the high times of the 80’s, his parties were legendary. Coke fuelled orgies where the champagne flowed freely and there were wheels of cheese to spare. But times haven’t been so kind to Roland and his gang. Reports of him being found passed out in pools of vomit in London streets had become a regular thing. Let’s also not forget his four month prison term for bottling one of the Tweenies.
Rat is currently being tried for the alleged murder of Big Bird, who Rat is reported to have felt had spoken disparagingly of him in a recent interview with Penthouse. Rat is said to have cornered Big Bird in an alley and taken a chainsaw to his face as he was held down by Rat’s accomplice Kevin the Gerbil, who is due to be tried separately. Also indicted is Errol the Hamster, who is said to have driven the getaway vehicle and to have threatened witnesses who have been cooperating with the police.
Rat also deserves to be slaughtered mercilessly for ‘Rat Rapping’.
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