Prometheus: Oh er.
:Spoiler warning:
Yes, this was my most anticipated movie of the year.
Yes, In some respect's it did live up to the hype.
Yes, the first 2 Hours are sheer bliss for me, peacing together the nick-nack's and going "Oh my bloody god is that ....." every few moments when I see something I recognised.
But i'm going to talk about the last 10 or so minuet's because, by god did they piss me off something terrible.
First, the 'Wagon Wheel'. This is gonna become the new Nuking the Fridge for me, the new Frying the Coke, the new Jumping the Shark.
Here the 'Space Jokey' Ship from Aliens has just been ramed by the SS Prometheus and is sent hurtling back to solid ground and it's side, causing it to role.
Now if Ridley Scott want's to have his Loony Tunes moment set in HIS universe, then that's fine by me......But when you have two charatcters RUNNING THE **** AWAY from it in a perfect straight line, not even twigging that they could move a couple of dozen feet to the left and avoid being crushed by the drokking thing, then I start to get a little peeved.
Is it over, hell no! When the ship crushes one of the lead females (Guess, it's the bitchy, sour faced one. Jog on Mr Scott) what does the other one do?
Cour infront of a rock formation and wait for it to crush her. Now I though "No. No he isn't. He can't possibly be so cliche" and yep, it happens.
The rock formation stop's the MILLION TONE SHIP from crushing her without even a shard of metal splintering in her direction. WRONG!
Suspension of disbelief? Even Ed Wood gave his characters more realistic luck!
More? Oh for the love of god. But this is where it get's really nasty for me.
A few muinets earlier we saw the last Space Jokey board the control deck of the ship JUST LIKE IN ALIEN (This scene is prolonged for optimum fangasm sake. It works) but we then cut to the collision.
So, then I presumed "right any moment where gonna cut back to his still breathing body and the chest buster is gonna pop out and, Hey presto, Alien set up' but NO! He get's the **** out of the ship ALIVE AND KICKING and chases our heroin into an escape modual (a part of the Prometheus that was ejected before collision, incase of any survivers) and goes all Michael Myers on her. OK, so Scott wanted him alive so he could make us shit ourself's, fine, he's gonna snap her neck and wander back into the ship and BAM! Chest Buster time. NO!
Instead a great big freacking Octopus chest buster extracted from the same female lead earlier in the film, attack's the grey bastard and mouth rapes him.
IN THE CAPSUAL. Not in the DECK OF THE ALIEN SHIP. But in the CAPSUAL.......Continuity just cried.
Then, Ridley Scott has the cheek to explain that there was reveal there was more than one ship and the Heroin and the decapitated android travel off into the sunset to have Halo Jones style adventures yaddayaddayadda.
.................................................. ...............
Then we get the chest buster scene. IN THE CAPSUAL. **** me Riddly Scott.
And, then, the Alien is about 5ft tall and look's more like the monstrosity from Aliens vs. Ninja.
Over all, the first two hours present a sci-fi movie to rival 2001 or Dune, but the ending hurt me physicaly and stanck of George Lucas.
So i'm making two rating's, one for the first 2 Hours and a possible directors cut that should improve the ending, with any Luck.
A Freakin' awsome
Now for the last 10 minuets as they currently stand.
D Stinking