Alrighty, i'm gonna have a go - because I really want Ratman! ; )
First off though - I like rats. What I don't like however, is z-list celebrities. My god they make me homicidal, and one in particular is Russell Brand - that smug, slimy, wet-wipe makes my flesh crawl. "Get it off my telly" I yell in hysteria, whenever than goofy mug of his slides its way onto my tv screen.
So, welcome to my Giallo - in which scumbag celebrity #7643 Mr Russell Brand, meets his demise at the hands of the mystery "bathroom killer"...
Title:
The forbidden murder of a lizard in a z-list celebrity's skin.
Aka,
Your toilet has a locked door, and only I have the paper..
Aka,
The killer didn't wipe the seat..
It's another day, and something is crawling out of the depths of the sewer. A rat I hear you ask? Nooo.. Rats are cool. This is something much, much worse.. and it's on it's way to work:
Argh! yes it's the cretin from the deep - Russell Brand. Fortunately unbeknownst to him, the black gloved, bathroom killer is already waiting. Waiting to slaughter z-list celebs as they do their business..
The door flies open...
And there the killer is - armed with their trademark black gloves & plunger! (their weapon of choice). They start to plunge Brand to death, but its not working. As a creature from the sewer, Brand can withstand the plunger. Fortunately, the killer comes armed with ACID...
Yay! that did the trick.. bye bye Brand. All thats left is some technicolour goo, and a mop of hair.
But who is the secret killer? What is the dramatic final twist to this tale?
Yes, it's Jade Goody! Killing off her own (as in "obnoxious TV personalities") - her motive? Put out by Brands relative success and breakout into movie "stardom" Goody sees red - and thus decides to off anyone who dares become more popular than she.
Soundtrack by Morricone.
P.s, I hope I didn't show off my brilliant* photoshop skills too much..
*utterly shite..