[troggi]

Originally Posted by Frankie Teardrop

THE GOAT MAN MURDERS - Yes, I jumped on the bandwagon and quite liked what I found. I mean, this is a total dog but, after wading through at least thirty mins of collegiate sex-drugs whinge we're rewarded with some surprisingly mean spirited gore, including the soon to be infamous climactic assault on the blind. Along the way are non-sequitors such as a mentally challenged man eating some human shit and close ups of a plastic cock surrounded by wild ginger pubes. "Seriously, we'll get this into Asda and everything will be fine", said the man when he made this.

I'm quite glad that everyone's enjoying this pile of shite. I still believe that given a budget and some actors this could have been a great gross out flick.

Unfortunately the whole budget was spent on fake entrails, porridge, cigarette papers and ginger fun-fur, there wasn't enough left to pay a full cast and crew so friends and relatives had to help out. The "Goatman" was kitted out at the "Doncaster Ferret Rescue" charity shop and his make-up effects were achieved by taking a "Captain Kirk" mask, turning it inside out and leaving it on top of the toaster whilst making "Pop-Tarts". The, now infamous, ginger circumcised penis was actually knitted by the directors Aunt Grace, who also played the part of the visually challenged expectant mother, and finished off by painting an acorn pink and attached with Pritt Stick!

While buying clothes for the "Goatman" the director got the inspiration for his next film "The Ferretman Rampage" about an abandoned child brought up by wild polecats in the basement of Connisborough Castle who goes feral at a meeting at Doncaster Racecourse!