Giallostones
Symptoms include a knife-like pain in the lower gut caused by watching too many Italian thrillers. Often results in excessive screaming, psychedelic hallucinations and paranoia that someone is out to kill you. Some sufferers experience symptoms of altered speech, where their accent radically changes and the words coming out don't match their lips - but that could be a red-herring.
Treatment: Exotic locations and sex with glamorous men or women. You're probably doomed anyway, so may as well have fun in the meantime.
|