Things.
Shot on 8mm at the tail end of the 80's by two stoned as hell Canadians, Things is a film that I'm still trying to wrap my head around. After a frankly weird as f*** opening dream scene with a naked woman in a Satan mask being propositioned by a sweaty bloke asking if she will have his baby, the film switches back to "reality"
Two drunks turn up at sweaty blokes house looking to get their drink on. They find a tape recorder and some sort of satanic book in the freezer. After listening to it a bit they continue to get pissed. Sweaty bloke tricks his mate with the mullet into eating a spider. Then sweaty blokes wife gives birth alien style to a spider thing so the drunks decide to hit the whiskey. Eventually they decide to do stuff and things happen. All the action is broken up with occasional newsflashes with porn star amber lynne.
Things is a complete mess. The sound mix is sloppy, the editing crude and the script is... well the script is complete garbage. YET, I somehow managed to stick it to the end. You could almost say its hypnotically bad in a way films like Birdemic and The room wish they where.
This film is wrecked.
Dial help.
Charlotte lewis is stalked by phones. There I said it. And after Things this wasn't the most wrecked thing I watched this evening. In fairness, when put next to a train wreck of a film like things, a film like dial help shines in comparison. It's an odd bird of a film, can't say i've ever seen another film where a phone makes a guys pacemaker explode. Still, director Deodato makes the film stylish and Lewis is grade A eye candy and I like the more mental end of italian schlock cinema so this was enjoyable enough.
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