[Inspector Abberline]

Empire of the Ants (1977)

Mysterious men in red boiler suits are shooting barrels of radioactive drums into the sea,I know this because all the drums have radioactive written all over them.But don't worry because they have "don't open" written on them,just in case somebody thought it was a barrel of ice cream or something innocuous like depleted plutonium. But do not worry because Dreamland Shores are selling property right on the coast,so no need to worry about pollution or anything sort of nonsense. Hey wait a minute what are those pesky ants doing,and whats that leaking into the eco system.And why are there a group of television actors and has been's, all dressed in polyester and all acting like it was there first pay check in along time. Thankfully we know when the ants are lurking because they seem to make a shrill noise and the POV goes all multiple vision. I have to say if I was a giant ant and I come across these bunch of cretins swanning around a rather naff looking beach then I would chomp on these idiots as well.Marilyn Fryser (Joan Collins) although attractive,she is not my favorite actress,in fact I find her plain annoying. I have to say im definitely on the side of the giant ants here ,let them eat cake I say,or in this case ~B movie cake. Which incidentally that sugar refinery may come in handy ,oh wait............
Directed by Bert I. Gordon, the big head,decides to re write HG Wells,now I have never read Wells story,but im guessing there wasn't much in the way of Joan Collins and this band of losers .I do enjoy these before CGI creature features,its only when the characters start bickering among themselves,which normally happens in these situations ,that your wishing the giant sized ant/spider/rabbit delete the applicable would hurry up and chow and gnaw the rest of the cast sooner more than later. Fun.