[Inspector Abberline]

Silent Venom (2009 )

Sam Jackson had it easy with his Snakes on a Plane shenanigans,I would much rather be on a plane with a bunch of snakes than hundreds of feet under water in submarine,like poor old Luke Perry as Lt. Commander James O'Neill. As usual the doctors and scientists have been fannying about with mother nature,Dr. Andrea Swanson ( Krista Allen) and her dodgy assistant Jake,have been doing something with test tubes and snakes venom and hey presto they have managed to engineer a rather angry and fast growing snakes,just what the world needed a deadly venomous snake,and all because the military need new ways to kill people.What do you know the island that there tormenting snakes on,is about to be over run by the Chinese navy doing there military manoeuvres.Oh and before I forget there is a bloody great big mummy snake the size of a house running around the island gobbling up assistants to the doctor.Still help is on the way via Luke Perry and his very old submarine which is on its way to being sold off,a very chubby looking Tom Berenger gives the orders for the rescue of the scientists from the island plus there deadly experiment,which must be kept a military secret from the crew. So guess what happens,as soon as the cargo is loaded,some nosey bugger decides to open one of the specially designed crates and hey presto,before any one can say snakes on a Submarine,there is a boat full of snakes on a submarine,actually 20,but who's counting,apart from the crew. Not forgetting the two genetically engineered snakes who are growing bigger and nastier by the minute. Directed by the thinking man's Al Adamson,Fred Olen Ray yes he of Scalps and Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers fame,makes a competent effort,and even the budget seems quite reasonable considering everything involved here.And while its quite a fun watch there does seem to be a certain lack of tension or terror,even though crew are stuck aboard a submarine with a bunch of snakes and have the whole Chinese navy above them,Im not getting that vibe of pure panic you would get from having Sam Jackson screaming at the top of his lungs.But it was a fun watch and certainly a lot more entertaing than some of Mr Ray's other directorial features,it was just a shame the cast did not put a bit more effort into there performances,perhaps they should of stuck some real snake in there then we would see a bit of that thespian talent from MR Perry.