I would like to be a vampire because ~
....i could star in Jean Rollin films and be surrounded by sexy nude vampire women.
....i could use my powers of suggestion to get the women, and it wouldn’t just be me doing all the sucking.
....Blood must be good for dental hygiene,
You never see a vampire with a dodgy set of false teeth.
....They are shape shifters so you could make parts of you bigger at will, no wonder they get the girls.
....I wear a lot of black anyway and stay up late a lot, so at least i’d have an excuse.
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MIKE: I've got it! Peter Cushing! We've got to drive a stake through his heart!
VYVYAN: Great! I'll get the car!
NEIL: I'll get a cushion.