Doctor Who over the years: Episode quotes
The Time Warrior – Episode 1
Rubeish: Rubeish.
The Doctor: I beg your pardon?
Rubeish: Joseph Rubeish.
The Doctor: Oh, I see. I'm so sorry. Hello. How do you do?
(The Doctor shakes the younger man's hand. He wears thick glasses, a bow tie and a white lab coat. The Tardis stands in the corner now.) Rubeish: It's disgraceful, of course. Utterly disgraceful.
The Doctor: Oh? What is?
Rubeish: Well, shutting us up. Like a lot of kids kept in after school. That Brigadier chap. Military idiot.
The Doctor: Yes, I know how you feel. Still, he means well, you know.
Rubeish: Haven't seen my wife and family for three days.
The Doctor: I'm sorry to hear that.
Rubeish: Ah well, just shows there's always a silver lining. And your name?
The Doctor: Er, Smith. Doctor John Smith.
Rubeish: Oh. Seems to be a lot of them about today.
The Doctor: I'm sorry?
Rubeish: Well, I was talking to a young woman just now, also Smith.
(The door closes.) Well, there she is. Miss Smith?
Sarah: Yes, Professor?
Rubeish: Come and meet your namesake. Miss Lavinia Smith, Doctor er
The Doctor: Doctor John Smith. How do you do, Miss Smith?
Sarah: Hello.
Rubeish: Doctor, I'm intrigued. What's that for?
(the Tardis) The Doctor: That? Oh, that, er, that contains my equipment, Professor.
Rubeish: That's original.
The Doctor: You're the virologist, Miss Smith?
Sarah: Yes. Who told you?
The Doctor: I read your paper on the teleological response of the virus. A most impressive piece of work.
Sarah: Thank you.
The Doctor: Particularly when I realise you must have written it when you were five years old.
Sarah: Ah. Er, yes, that is rather difficult to explain, isn't it.
The Doctor: But you're going to try, aren't you.
Sarah: Well, my Aunt Lavinia is in America on a lecture tour, you see.
The Doctor: Mmm hmm.
Sarah: She had an invitation to visit here. I took her place.
The Doctor: Why?
Sarah: Well, I thought all this might give me a good story. I'm a journalist. Sarah Jane Smith.
The Doctor: You realise this is a very dangerous place to be in?
Sarah: Well I can't help that. I'm stuck here now and anyway, we've got all these soldiers looking after us. Are you going to give me away, Doctor?
The Doctor: I don't think so.
Sarah: Why not?
The Doctor: Well, you can make yourself useful. We need somebody around here to make the coffee.
Sarah: If you think I'm going to spend my time making cups of coffee for you, you're very
The Doctor: Professor!
(Rubeish is writing equations on the Tardis.) Look, would you kindly desist? This is not a blackboard, you know?
Rubeish: Oh I do beg your pardon, Doctor. I was just trying to prove
Sarah: What do you plan to do in there?
The Doctor: Make myself a cup of coffee. Good day to you.
(The Doctor goes into the Tardis.) The Time Warrior – Episode 2
Linx: You resisted well, Doctor. I could have increased the power, but I might have killed you. I need you alive. A brain of your capacity can be of use to me.
The Doctor: Thank you.
Linx: You're not of this planet. How came you to be here?
The Doctor: Oh, I'm just a tourist. I like it here.
Linx: This hole in space.
The Doctor: You haven't seen it at its best.
Linx: It has no military value, no strategic significance.
The Doctor: Once again, a Sontaran philosophy.
Linx: I'm Commander Linx - Fifth Sontaran Army Space Fleet.
The Doctor: Ah, yes. Yes, as I thought. A Sontaran warrior. So, the perpetual war between the Sontarans and the Rutans has spread to this tiny planet, has it?
Linx: Emergency landing. I was on a reconnaissance mission when I was attacked by a squadron of Rutan fighters. You have encountered my race before, Doctor?
The Doctor: Unfortunately.
Linx: I'll overlook that insult for the moment. What is your native planet?
The Doctor: Gallifrey. I am a Time Lord.
Linx: Ah, yes. A race of great technical achievement, but lacking the morale to withstand a determined assault.
The Doctor: Oh, do you think so?
Linx: I'm only a lowly Commander, Doctor. I merely quote from the appreciation circulated by our military intelligence.
The Time Warrior – Episode 3
The Doctor: You know, I was never much of a hand with a paint brush myself.
Sarah: No?
The Doctor: No. Nor a palette knife for that matter. But I'd like to study under one of the masters one day. Rembrandt, preferably.
Sarah: Rembrandt?
The Doctor: Mmm hmm.
Sarah: Can you, can you just go anywhere you like in that Tardis?
The Doctor: Yes, within reason.
Sarah: Then why are you staying here? Why don't you go somewhere safer?
The Doctor: Because, my dear Sarah, I've got a job to do. One that involves the whole future of your species. Here, hold this will you?
(The Doctor hands Sarah a piece of rope, and he cuts it into shorter lengths.) Sarah: My species?
The Doctor: Mmm hmm.
Sarah: You're talking as if you weren't human.
The Doctor: Yes, well, the definition of the word humanity was always a rather a complex question, wasn't it?
Sarah: You know perfectly well what I mean. Are you or aren't you?
The Doctor: If you mean am I a native of the planet Terra, the answer is no, I'm not.
Sarah: Well, what are you then?
The Doctor: Me? I'm a Time Lord.
Sarah: A Time Lord?
The Doctor: Yes, that's right. And my people are very keen to stamp out unlicensed time travel. You can look upon them as galactic ticket inspectors, if you like.
Sarah: Galactic ticket inspectors? Oh, I could murder a cup of tea. You're serious, aren't you?
The Doctor: About what I do, yes. Not necessarily the way I do it
The Time Warrior – Episode 4
Sarah: I'm not afraid of men. They don't own the world. Why should women always have to cook and carry for them?
Meg: What else should we do?
Sarah: Stand up for ourselves. Tell the men you're tired of working for them like slaves.
Meg: We are slaves.
Sarah: Then you should set yourselves free.
Meg: Oh? And how should we do that?
Sarah: Don't you want to be free?
Meg: Women will never be free while there are men in the world, girl. We have our place.
Sarah: What subservient poppycock. You're still living in the Middle Ages.
Meg: Eh?
Sarah: Nothing.