Doctor Who over the years: Episode quotes
The Deadly Assassin – Part 1
Engin: The Tribunal chose, in view of the extenuating circumstances, to impose a lenient sentence.
Spandrell: What?
Engin:
(louder) The Tribunal chose
Spandrell: What sentence?
Engin: Oh, I beg your pardon. Banishment to Earth.
Spandrell: Earth?
Engin: Sol Three, in Mutter's Spiral. Rather an interesting little planet, I understand. Several of our
Spandrell: Is there anything further of relevance I should know, Coordinator Engin?
Engin: I see there is an addendum. Ah, yes. The sentence was subsequently remitted at the intercession of the CIA.
Spandrell: Celestial Intervention Agency. They get their fingers into everything. Is he mixed up with them?
Engin: There's nothing further on the file.
Spandrell: Oh yes, they'd see to it that there wouldn't be. Can you get me his extract biog?
Engin: Yes, certainly. Won't take a moment.
The Deadly Assassin – Part 2
Hildred: You will confess, Doctor.
The Doctor: All right. All right, I'll confess.
Hildred: Very sensible.
The Doctor: I confess you're a bigger idiot than I thought you were. Argh.
Hildred: There are fifteen intensity levels in this device, Doctor. At the moment, you're only experiencing level nine. Much easier to talk.
The Doctor: I've got nothing to say.
Hildred: Oh, you'll think of something, soon.
(Hildred turns up the intensity.) The Doctor: Tweedledum.
Spandrell: Turn it off.
(Hildred obeys.) The Doctor: Tweedledee.
Spandrell: I must apologise for my subordinate. He lets his enthusiasm run away with him.
The Doctor: I see. The hot and cold technique.
Spandrell: We are simply seekers of the truth, and we haven't got much time. Chancellor Goth has ordered your immediate trial.
The Doctor: I'd like to help you. How about a signed confession?
Spandrell: That will help. I hate going to court without possessing the full facts. Motive, for instance.
The Doctor: Now that's a sensible question. Why should anyone want to assassinate a retiring President?
Spandrell: A personal grudge?
The Doctor: I never met him.
Spandrell: I know. I have seen your biog.
The Doctor: And you still think I did it?
Spandrell: I think you're going to be executed for it. They are preparing the vaporisation chamber now. You have about three hours to live, Doctor.
The Doctor: What? Well, that's monstrous. Vaporisation without representation is against the constitution.
Spandrell: You are an embarrassment.
The Doctor: You realise I've been framed, don't you.
Spandrell: Framed?
The Doctor: Yes, framed. It's an Earth expression. It means that someone's gone to a great deal of trouble to get me into this mess.
The Deadly Assassin – Part 3
The Doctor: I deny this reality. The reality is a computation matrix.
(The quarry walls flex then turn into circuit boards. A dizzying vortex fills the Doctor's mind and he collapses. Under the burning sun, vultures circle. When the Doctor wakes, two eyes appear in the quarry wall.) Figure [OC]: I am the creator here, Doctor. This is my world. There is no escape for you.
The Deadly Assassin – Part 4
Spandrell: It seems clear how it happened. The Master tried to trap the Doctor in the APC net by overloading the neuron fields. Then he collapsed and died, leaving Chancellor Goth still connected into the circuit.
Borusa: Natural causes?
Spandrell: Yes, sir. His body was extremely emaciated. He had come to the end of his regeneration cycle.
Borusa: No.
The Doctor: No what, Cardinal?
Borusa: The story is not acceptable. This is a very difficult, very delicate position. We must adjust the truth.
Engin: In what way, Cardinal?
Borusa: In a way that will maintain public confidence in the Time Lords and their leadership. How many people have seen this Master since his death?
Spandrell: Apart from ourselves, Hildred and the two guards who took the body to the Panopticon vault.
Borusa: Then we shall rely on their silence. We shall change the appearance of the corpse, Castellan. We all know the posthumous effect of a staser bolt. Within the hour, the body will be charred beyond recognition. Our story is going to be that the Master arrived in Gallifrey to assassinate the President, secretly. Before he could escape, Chancellor Goth tracked him down and killed him, unfortunately perishing himself in the exchange of fire. Now that's much better. I can believe that.
Engin: You're making Goth into a hero?
Borusa: If heroes don't exist, it is necessary to invent them. Good for public morale.
Engin: And the The Doctor's part in all this?
Borusa: Best forgotten. Of course, Doctor, the charge against you will be dropped.
The Doctor: How kind.
Borusa: Conditional on your leaving Gallifrey tonight.
The Doctor: Somehow, Cardinal, I don't want to stay.
Borusa: Good. I believe you know something of the Master's past.
The Doctor: We've bumped into each other from time to time.
Borusa: Then before you leave, you can assist Coordinator Engin to compile a new biog of him. It doesn't have to be entirely accurate.
The Doctor: Like Time Lord history.