Doctor Who over the years: Episode quotes
The Greatest Show In The Galaxy – Part 1
(A curious six legged gizmo with two small solar panels and an antenna on its head appears. The Doctor is on a step ladder hunting for his ball in the console room ceiling.) The Doctor: What's that peculiar noise?
Ace: What peculiar noise? I don't hear any peculiar.
(They notice the gizmo.) The Doctor: How extraordinary.
(He comes down the ladder.) It materialised inside the Tardis. Just the kind of thing you'd expect to see in this part of the galaxy.
(The gizmo trundles across the floor to the console.) Ace: Is that just what you'd expect too, Professor?
The Doctor: Not entirely, no.
(The gizmo then slaps a lead onto the console and the scanner starts up with an advertisement.) Advert: Yes, it's festival time at the Psychic Circus, the Greatest Show in the Galaxy! So why not come along and have the time of your life with the nonstop action of its glittering circus ring. There's big prizes
Ace: No, I don't believe it. Junk mail. Used to get loads of this stuff through the letterbox and now we're being bombarded with it inside the Tardis.
The Doctor: Yes, junk mail gets everywhere.
Advert: If you want to watch or you want to compete, there's a great time for you on the planet Segonax. The planet has easy access via our special polyportable landing bays.
(Ace disconnects the gizmo.) The Doctor: Oh, Ace, I thought you'd have been interested in the circus.
Ace: No, kid's stuff. I went once. Didn't even have any tigers. It was naff and it was boring. Apart from the clowns, of course.
The Doctor: What, you found them funny?
Ace: No, creepy.
The Doctor: I think you're being very unfair. A lot of the acts in the circus require a great deal of skill and courage. That's something you should appreciate. Anyway, I rather fancy entering the Festival talent contest myself.
(And starts to play a pair of salad spoons on his leg.) Ace: Oh no, not the spoons again.
(The gizmo reattaches itself.) Advert: Scared?
Ace: What?
Advert: Scared to come to the Psychic Circus?
Ace: No.
Advert: Scared to take part?
Ace: No, course not.
Advert: Well, if you are, then go ahead, ignore me. I quite understand.
Ace: I don't believe it. Junk mail that talks back.
The Doctor: Shall we just fling it away and forget about it? I mean, I'm sure the Psychic Circus isn't scary at all. It's just a device to get us to go.
Ace: Okay, you win, junk box. I'm not scared of anything.
The Greatest Show In The Galaxy – Part 2
Morgana: Welcome one and all to the Psychic Circus.
(Ace turns to leave but the Doctor pulls her back.) The Doctor: Ace, you promised.
(to Morgana) I'm the Doctor and this is Ace. I must apologise for my young friend.
Morgana: Oh, it is no problem. All of us around here believe in letting our feelings hang out. I mean, there is no point in getting uptight, now is there?
(Ace sees the clown watching and becomes tense.) Ace: I don't believe this.
Morgana: That is why we got into circuses in the first place.
The Doctor: We?
Morgana: The founder members of the Psychic Circus.
The Doctor: Ah, I see.
Morgana: We were really into personal expression and the Circus gave us a chance to develop ourselves by expressing our individual skills.
(The Doctor sees three kites with eyes painted on them.) The Doctor: I wonder if you've a special skill, if I might enquire.
Morgana: Fortune telling. Would you like to see the future?
(Morgana turns over the top card on her Tarot pack. It is the Hanged Man, symbol of major change. The Doctor does not turn round to look at it.) The Doctor: Not just yet.
(The funeral clowns carry the robot bus conductor backstage on a stretcher.) The Psychic Circus has grown into quite a sizeable operation, by the looks of it.
Morgana: The greatest show in the galaxy.
(The Doctor looks around their collection of advertising posters.) The Doctor: Quite so, yes. My, you have travelled, haven't you? The planet Othris, the Boriatic Wastes, Marpesia and the Grand Pagoda of Cinethon.
Morgana: Yes, we used to have a great time in the old days, going from planet to planet. But we've really got settled in here since
The Doctor: Since?
Morgana: Well, you have to hang up your travelling shoes and stop wandering sooner or later, don't you?
The Doctor: So I've been told. Personally, I just keep on wandering.
The Greatest Show In The Galaxy – Part 3
Captain: So you've always been interested in the Psychic Circus, have you? Sit down.
Whizzkid: Oh yes, of course.
Captain: Ah.
(The Captain pours the tea.) Whizzkid: I've never been able to visit it before now, but I've got all sorts of souvenirs. Copies of all the advertising satellites that have ever been sent out. All the posters. I had a long correspondence with one of the founder members too, soon after it started. Although I never got to see the early days, I know it's not as good as it used to be but I'm still terribly interested.
Ringmaster: Two minutes, Captain.
Captain: Thank you, Ringmaster. No doubt you dream of having the ultimate Psychic Circus experience as soon as possible.
Whizzkid: Sorry?
Captain: You ache for the moment when you can do your own act within that sawdust covered magic circle.
Whizzkid: Oh, yes, of course. I mean, there's no real danger, is there, really.
Captain: Only for those without resource or imagination or panache. I'm sure you have all those qualities.
Whizzkid: Well, I really don't know.
Captain: Come, come, dear boy, don't be so absurdly modest.
Mags: Don't listen to him.
Whizzkid: But this is one of my heroes, Captain Cook, the intergalactic space explorer.
Captain: Exactly. And shall I tell you what I'm prepared to do for you as a special favour?
Whizzkid: What?
Captain: Postpone my brief moment of glory in the ring so that you may enjoy the unforgettable experience before me, far beyond the bouncing Upas trees of Boromeo or the singing squids of Anagonia.
Whizzkid: Are you sure you can bear to let me go in first?
Captain: It is a sacrifice I am prepared to make
The Greatest Show In The Galaxy – Part 4
The Doctor: Enjoying the show, Ace?
Ace: Yeah. It was your show all along, wasn't it?
Mags: The Captain really is finished now, isn't he?
The Doctor: Yes. But you're just about to start.
Deadbeat: Doctor, I've been thinking.
The Doctor: What better way for a circus to begin than with a wonderful new act.
Ace: Yeah, weird and wonderful. Nice one, Professor. You'll knock them dead.
Mags: That's just what I'm afraid of. What if I can't control it?
The Doctor: Oh, you can, Mags. You already have.
Deadbeat: What about it, Doctor? You and Ace. Join Kingpin's new circus and travel the galaxy with us.
The Doctor: Thank you, Kingpin, but I'm afraid we've got other galaxies to travel. And besides, I find circuses a little sinister.