Doctor Who over the years: Episode quotes
The Christmas Invasion
(Dressing gown on, the Doctor leads the trio out. Down on the ground, three Santa's gaze up, one holding a radio controller.) Mickey: That's them. What are they?
Rose: Shush!
(The Doctor aims the screwdriver at them and the Santa's back away. Then they are beamed away.) Mickey: They've just gone. What kind of rubbish were they? I mean, no offence, but they're not much cop if a sonic screwdriver's going to scare them off.
The Doctor: Pilot fish.
Rose: What?
The Doctor: They were just pilot fish.
(The Doctor is in pain.) Rose: What's wrong?
The Doctor: You woke me up too soon. I'm still regenerating. I'm bursting with energy.
(He exhales the golden energy.) You see? The pilot fish could smell it a million miles away. So they eliminate the defence, that's you lot, and they carry me off. They could run their batteries on me for a couple of ow!
Jackie: Oh! Oh! Oh!
The Doctor: My head! I'm having a neuron implosion. I need
Jackie: What do you need?
The Doctor: I need
Jackie: Say it. Tell me, tell me, tell me.
The Doctor: I need
Jackie: Painkillers?
The Doctor: I need
Jackie: Do you need aspirin?
The Doctor: I need
Jackie: Codeine? Paracetamol? Oh, I don't know, Pepto-Bismol?
The Doctor: I need
Jackie: Liquid paraffin. Vitamin C? Vitamin D? Vitamin E?
The Doctor: I need
Jackie: Is it food? Something simple. Bowl of soup. A nice bowl of soup? Soup and a sandwich? Soup and a little ham sandwich?
The Doctor: I need you to shut up.
Jackie: Oh, he hasn't changed that much, has he?
The Doctor: We haven't got much time. If there's pilot fish, then. Why's there an apple in my dressing gown?
Jackie: Oh, that's Howard. Sorry.
The Doctor: He keeps apples in his dressing gown?
Jackie: He gets hungry.
The Doctor: What, he gets hungry in his sleep?
Jackie: Sometimes.
The Doctor: Argh! Brain collapsing. The pilot fish. The pilot fish mean that something, something, something is coming.
(The Doctor passes out.)
****************************
Alex: Did you think you were clever with your stolen words? We are the Sycorax, we stride the darkness. Next to us you are but a wailing child. If you are the best your planet can offer as a champion
Sycorax: Then your world will be gutted
Alex: Then your world will be gutted
Sycorax: And your people enslaved.
Alex: Hold on, that's English.
Harriet: He's talking English.
Rose: You're talking English.
Sycorax: I would never dirty my tongue with your primitive bile.
Rose: That's English. Can you hear English?
Mickey: Yeah, that's English.
Alex: Definitely English.
Sycorax: I speak only Sycoraxic!
Rose: If I can hear English, then it's being translated. Which means it's working. Which means
(Everyone turns to look at the Tardis. The Doctor opens the doors.) The Doctor: Did you miss me?
(The Sycorax cracks his whip. The Doctor catches the end and pulls it out of his hand.) You could have someone's eye out with that.
Sycorax: How dare!
(The Doctor takes a thick club off another Sycorax and breaks it across his knee.) The Doctor: You just can't get the staff. Now, you, just wait. I'm busy. Mickey, hello! And Harriet Jones MP for Flydale North. Blimey, it's like This Is Your Life. Tea! That's all I needed, a good cup of tea! Superheated infusion of free radicals and tannin. Just the thing for healing the synapses. Now, first thing's first. Be honest, how do I look?
Rose: Er, different.
The Doctor: Good different or bad different?
Rose: Just different.
The Doctor: Am I ginger?
Rose: No, you're just sort of brown.
The Doctor: I wanted to be ginger. I've never been ginger. And you, Rose Tyler, fat lot of good you were. You gave up on me. Oh, that's rude. That's the sort of man I am now, am I? Rude. Rude and not ginger.
Harriet: I'm sorry. Who is this?
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor.
Rose: He's the Doctor.
Harriet: But what happened to my Doctor? Or is it a title that's just passed on?
The Doctor: I'm him. I'm literally him. Same man, new face. Well, new everything.
Harriet: But you can't be.
The Doctor: Harriet Jones, we were trapped in Downing Street and the one thing that scared you wasn't the aliens, it wasn't the war, it was the thought of your mother being on her own.
Harriet: Oh, my God.
The Doctor: Did you win the election?
Harriet: Landslide majority.
Sycorax: If I might interrupt.
The Doctor: Yes, sorry. Hello, big fellow.
Sycorax: Who exactly are you?
The Doctor: Well, that's the question.
Sycorax: I demand to know who you are!
The Doctor: I don't know! See, there's the thing. I'm the Doctor, but beyond that, I just don't know. I literally do not know who I am. It's all untested. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy? Right old misery? Life and soul? Right handed? Left handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor? A liar? A nervous wreck? I mean, judging by the evidence, I've certainly got a gob. And how am I going to react when I see this, a great big threatening button. A great big threatening button which must not be pressed under any circumstances, am I right? Let me guess. It's some sort of control matrix, hmm? Hold on, what's feeding it?
(The Doctor opens the base of the pillar under the button.) And what've we got here? Blood? Yeah, definitely blood. Human blood. A Positive, with just a dash of iron. Ah, but that means blood control. Blood control! Oh, I haven't seen blood control for years. You're controlling all the A Positives. Which leaves us with a great big stinking problem. Because I really don't know who I am. I don't know when to stop. So if I see a great big threatening button which should never, ever, ever be pressed, then I just want to do this.
(He hits the button.)
*********************
The Doctor: Don't challenge me, Harriet Jones, because I'm a completely new man. I could bring down your Government with a single word.
Harriet: You're the most remarkable man I've ever met, but I don't think you're quite capable of that.
The Doctor: No, you're right. Not a single word, just six.
Harriet: I don't think so.
The Doctor: Six words.
Harriet: Stop it!
The Doctor: Six.
(The Doctor goes over to Alex and whispers in his ear.) Don't you think she looks tired?