Doctor Who over the years: Episode quotes
Tooth And Claw
Rose: What do you think of this? Will it do?
The Doctor: In the late 1970s? You'd be better off in a bin bag. Hold on, listen to this.
(The Doctor puts a CD into the Tardis player.) Ian Dury and the Blockheads. Number One in 1979.
Rose: You're a punk.
The Doctor: It's good to be a lunatic.
Rose: That's what you are. A big old punk with a bit of rockabillly thrown in.
The Doctor: Would you like to see him?
Rose: How'd you mean? In concert?
The Doctor: What else is a Tardis for? I can take you to the Battle of Trafalgar, the first anti-gravity Olympics, Caesar crossing the Rubicon or Ian Dury at the Top Rank, Sheffield, England, Earth, 21st November, 1979. What do you think?
Rose: Sheffield it is.
The Doctor: Hold on tight.
(The Doctor beats the rhythm of the song on the console as they travel.) Rose: Stop!
(They stop suddenly, and get thrown to the floor.) The Doctor: 1979. Hell of a year. China invades Vietnam. The Muppet Movie. Love that film. Margaret Thatcher. Urgh. Skylab falls to Earth, with a little help from me. Nearly took off my thumb.
[Highlands] And I like my thumb. I need my thumb. I'm very attached to
(Rifles are cocked.) My thumb.
(They are surrounded by Redcoats. The officer in charge is on a black horse.) 1879. Same difference.
Reynolds: You will explain your presence. And the nakedness of this girl.
(David reverts to his natural accent.) The Doctor: Are we in Scotland?
Reynolds: How can you be ignorant of that?
The Doctor: Oh, I'm, I'm dazed and confused. I've been chasing this, this wee naked child over hill and over dale. Isn't that right, ya timorous beastie?
Rose: Och, aye! I've been oot and aboot.
The Doctor: No, don't do that.
Rose: Hoots mon.
The Doctor: No, really don't. Really.
Reynolds: Will you identify yourself, sir?
The Doctor: I'm Doctor James McCrimmon, from the township of Balamory. I have my credentials, if I may.
(He gets out his psychic paper.) As you can see, a Doctorate from the University of Edinburgh. I trained under Doctor Bell himself.
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(Reynolds empties his revolver at the werewolf before it pounces and rips him apart.) The Doctor: Rose!
(The Doctor drags her inside the room.) Robert: Barricade the door.
(They do.) The Doctor: Wait a minute. Shush, shush, wait a minute.
(There is one lonely howl.) It's stopped.
(The werewolf sniffs at the door, then leaves.) It's gone.
Rose: Listen.
(There are footsteps and growls from outside the walls as it walks around the room.) The Doctor: Is this the only door?
Robert: Yes. No!
(They quickly barricade the other door.) Rose: Shush.
(The noises continue outside the walls.) I don't understand. What's stopping it?
The Doctor: Something inside this room. What is it? Why can't it get in?
Rose: I'll tell you what, though.
The Doctor: What?
Rose: Werewolf.
The Doctor: I know. You all right?
Rose: I'm okay, yeah.
Robert: I'm sorry, Ma'am. It's all my fault. I should have sent you away. I tried to suggest something was wrong. I thought you might notice. Did you think there was nothing strange about my household staff?
The Doctor: Well, they were bald, athletic. Your wife's away, I just thought you were happy.
Rose: I'll tell you what though, Ma'am, I bet you're not amused now.
Victoria: Do you think this is funny?
Rose: No, Ma'am. I'm sorry.
Victoria: What, exactly, I pray tell me, someone, please. What exactly is that creature?
The Doctor: You'd call it a werewolf, but technically it's a more of a lupine wavelength haemovariform.
Victoria: And should I trust you, sir? You who change your voice so easily? What happened to your accent?
The Doctor: Oh right, sorry, that's
Victoria: I'll not have it. No, sir. Not you, not that thing, none of it. This is not my world.
The Doctor: Mistletoe. Sir Robert, did you father put that there?
Robert: I don't know. I suppose.
The Doctor: On the other door, too. No, a carving wouldn't be enough. I wonder.
(He licks the woodwork.) Viscum album, the oil of the mistletoe. It's been worked into the wood like a varnish. How clever was your dad? I love him. Powerful stuff, mistletoe. Bursting with lectins and viscotoxins.
Rose: And the wolf's allergic to it?
The Doctor: Well, it thinks it is. The monkey monk monks need a way of controlling the wolf, maybe they trained it to react against certain things.
Robert: Nevertheless, that creature won't give up, Doctor, and we still don't possess an actual weapon.
The Doctor: Oh, your father got all the brains, didn't he?
Rose: Being rude again.
The Doctor: Good. I meant that one. You want weapons? We're in a library. Books! Best weapons in the world. This room's the greatest arsenal we could have.
(He throws some books to Rose.) Arm yourself.
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Victoria: By the power invested in me by the Church and the State, I dub thee Sir Doctor of Tardis. By the power invested in me by the Church and the State, I dub thee Dame Rose of the Powell Estate. You may stand.
The Doctor: Many thanks, Ma'am.
Rose: Thanks. They're never going to believe this back home.
The Doctor: Your Majesty, you said last night about receiving no message from the great beyond. I think your husband cut that diamond to save your life. He's protecting you even now, Ma'am, from beyond the grave.
Victoria: Indeed. Then you may think on this also. That I am not amused.
Rose: Yes!
Victoria: Not remotely amused. And henceforth I banish you.
The Doctor: I'm sorry?
Victoria: I have rewarded you, Sir Doctor, and now you are exiled from this empire, never to return. I don't know what you are, the two of you, or where you're from, but I know that you consort with stars and magic and think it fun. But your world is steeped in terror and blasphemy and death, and I will not allow it. You will leave these shores and you will reflect, I hope, on how you came to stray so far from all that is good, and how much longer you may survive this terrible life. Now leave my world, and never return.