Doctor Who over the years: Episode quotes
The Day Of The Doctor
The Doctor: Unified Intelligence Task Force.
Clara: Sorry?
The Doctor: This lot. UNIT. They investigate alien stuff. Anything alien.
Clara: What, like you?
The Doctor: I work for them.
Clara: You have a job?
The Doctor: Why shouldn't I have a job? I'd be brilliant at having a job.
Clara: You don't have a job.
The Doctor: I do. This is my job. I'm doing it now.
Clara You never have a job.
The Doctor: I do. I do.
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Elizabeth: Who is this man?
Doctor 10: That's just what I was wondering.
The Doctor: Oh, that is skinny. That is proper skinny. I've never seen it from the outside. It's like a special effect. Oi!
(He knocks the fez to the ground.) Ha! Matchstick man.
Doctor 10: You're not.
(They both get out their sonic screwdrivers. 11's is bigger and better.) Compensating.
The Doctor: For what?
Doctor 10 : Regeneration. It's a lottery.
The Doctor: Oh, he's cool. Isn't he cool? I'm the Doctor and I'm all cool. Oops, I'm wearing sandshoes.
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Kate: Malcolm? Malcolm, I need you to send me one of my father's incident files. Codenamed Cromer. 70s or 80s depending on the dating protocol.
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Doctor 10: Okay, you used to be me, you've done all this before. What happens next?
The Doctor: I don't remember.
Doctor 10: How can you forget this?
The Doctor: Hey, hang on. It's not my fault. You're obviously not paying enough attention. Reverse the polarity!
(They both aim their sonic screwdrivers at the fissure.) It's not working.
Doctor 10: We're both reversing the polarity.
The Doctor: Yes, I know that.
Doctor 10: There's two of us. I'm reversing it, you're reversing it back again. We're confusing the polarity.
(The Warrior drops through the time fissure.) The War Doctor: Anyone lose a fez?
Doctor 10: You. How can you be here? More to the point, why are you here?
The War Doctor: Good afternoon. I'm looking for the Doctor.
Doctor 10: Well, you've certainly come to the right place.
The War Doctor: Good. Right. Well, who are you boys? Oh, of course. Are you his companions?
The Doctor: His companions?
The War Doctor: They get younger all the time. Well, if you could point me in the general direction of the Doctor?
(They both demonstrate their sonic screwdrivers.) Really?
The Doctor: Yeah.
Doctor 10: Really.
The War Doctor: You're me? Both of you?
Doctor 10: Yep.
The War Doctor: Even that one?
The Doctor: Yes!
The War Doctor: You're my future selves?
Both: Yes!
The War Doctor: Am I having a midlife crisis? Why are you pointing your screwdrivers like that? They're scientific instruments, not water pistols
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The Doctor: It's a timey-wimey thing.
The War Doctor: Timey what? Timey-wimey?
Doctor 10: I've no idea where he picks that stuff up.
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The War Doctor: Did you ever count?
The Doctor: Count what?
The War Doctor: How many children there were on Gallifrey that day.
(The Doctor stops his scratching.) The Doctor: I have absolutely no idea.
The War Doctor: How old are you now?
The Doctor: Ah, I don't know. I lose track. Twelve hundred and something, I think, unless I'm lying. I can't remember if I'm lying about my age, that's how old I am.
The War Doctor: Four hundred years older than me, and in all that time you've never even wondered how many there were? You never once counted?
The Doctor: Tell me, what would be the point?
Doctor 10: Two point four seven billion.
The War Doctor: You did count!
Doctor 10: You forgot? Four hundred years, is that all it takes?
The Doctor: I moved on.
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(Clara opens the door and nearly falls in.) The Doctor: How did you do that?
Clara: It wasn't locked.
The Doctor: Right.
Clara: So they're both you, then, yeah?
The Doctor: Yes. You've met them before. Don't you remember?
Clara: A bit. Nice suit.
Doctor 10 10: Thanks.
Clara: Hang on. Three of you in one cell, and none of you thought to try the door?
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(Inside the Tardis) The War Doctor: You've let this place go a bit.
The Doctor: Ah, it's his grunge phase. He grows out of it.
Doctor 10: Don't you listen to them.
(An alarm sounds. The tenth Doctor gets an electric shock.) Ow! The desktop is glitching.
The War Doctor: Three of us from different time zones. It's trying to compensate.
The Doctor: Hey, look. The round things.
Doctor 10: I love the round things.
The Doctor: What are the round things?
The Doctor 10: No idea.
The Doctor: Oh dear, the friction contrafibulator. Ha! There, stabilised.
(The desktop changes again.) Doctor 10:
(channelling Doctor 2) Oh, you've redecorated. I don't like it.
The Doctor: Oh. Oh yeah? Oh, you never do.
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General: It's delusional. The calculations alone would take hundreds of years.
The Doctor: Oh, hundreds and hundreds.
Doctor 10: But don't worry, I started a very long time ago.
Doctor 1: Calling the War Council of Gallifrey. This is the Doctor.
The Doctor: You might say I've been doing this all my lives.
Doctor 2: Good luck.
Doctor 3: Standing by.
Doctor 4: Ready.
Doctor 8: Commencing calculations.
Doctor 5: Soon be there.
Doctor 7: Across the boundaries that divide one universe from another.
Doctor 6: Just got to lock on to his coordinates.
Doctor 9: And for my next trick.
General: I didn't know when I was well off. All twelve of them!
Androgar: No, sir. All thirteen!
(A new pair of grey eyebrows is seen.)
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The Doctor [OC]: Clara sometimes asks me if I dream. Of course I dream, I tell her. Everybody dreams. But what do you dream about, she'll ask. The same thing everybody dreams about, I tell her. I dream about where I'm going. She always laughs at that. But you're not going anywhere, you're just wandering about.
(He walks out to join his past selves, backs to us, gazing out at the stars.) That's not true. Not any more. I have a new destination. My journey is the same as yours, the same as anyones. It's taken me so many years, so many lifetimes, but at last I know where I'm going.
(A big golden planet hangs in the sky. He stands between the 10th and 8.5 Doctors.) Where I've always been going. Home, the long way round.
(Final shot, a front view of the known Doctors. Left to right - 2, 4, 6, 8, 8.5, 11, 10, 9, 7, 5, 3 and behind them, number one.)