Doctor Who over the years: Episode quotes
INTERMISSION
The 'other' anniversary specials
The Five(ish) Doctors Reboot
(CHRISTMAS DAY 2012) (Peter Davison's house. He and his sons Joel and Louis - one of whom is behind the sofa - are watching The Snowmen. Peter switches the TV off as the end credits roll.) Child 1: So, Doctor Who's been going on for fifty years now?
Peter: That's right.
Child 2: Is there going to be an anniversary special next year, Dad?
Peter: Oh, I'm sure there will be.
Child 1: Yeah, but will you be in it?
Peter: I dunno. I'm sure they'll have more than one Doctor.
Child 2: So - it could just be like, Matt Smith and David Tennant?
Peter: Well... I suppose it could be....
Both Boys: Great! Yeah!
(Jump up and run out. Peter looks nonplussed.)
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Radio: That was John Barrowman there with I Am What I Am, lovely stuff. Now talking of John Barrowman, it's the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who. And it's been announced today that there'll be a special on television for the 50th anniversary. Do you think they'll bring back all the old Doctors, like they used to do ? I hope they will. Er, who was your favourite Doctor. Mine was.... probably Peter Cushing. Controversial decision but -
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(Peter is picketing, on his own, wearing a Fifth Doctor t-shirt, outside Television Centre. He has a placard reading "NO 'CLASSICS'? NO 50TH!!". Colin and Sylvester are sitting on a bench with cups of tea, watching him) Colin: Sugar?
Sylvester: Ah! Decisions. Will it make a difference?
Colin: What?
Sylvester: Every great decision creates ripples.
Colin: In your tea?
Sylvester: Like a big boulder dropping into a lake.
Colin: Oh Sylvester, if you don't stop quoting yourself I'll put you back on the plane myself.
Sylvester: I got it a bit wrong, actually.
Colin: Oh, what's the use of a good quote if you can't change it. You all right?
Sylvester: Oh, I dunno. I have this sinking feeling.
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Peter: Right. Let's go.
(He has a black bag of clothes.) Sylvester: Hang on. One thing. Why are we doing this?
Colin: Why?
Sylvester: Well, I've travelled twelve thousand miles to get here, I'm in breach of contract, my film career's in tatters, and for what?
Colin: He's right. What is the point? Why are we doing all this?
(Peter sighs. Stares round.) Peter: For the fans.
Colin: Of course! For the fans!
Sylvester: Right! For the fans. Let's go.
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Security: Three of them. Dressed in stupid clothes. Illegal aliens, I shouldn't wonder.
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Peter's Voice On Phone: .... I'm not here right now, please leave a message.
Russell: Hi, Peter? hello. It's Russell T here. Russell The Davies! ha, funny! Erm, I just thought I'd phone you because I heard you were doing this video? for the fiftieth anniversary? and I thought - well, I thought I could be in it!
(Doctors happily getting on coach) ... because let's face it, there wouldn't actually be a fiftieth anniversary without me, without Russell T.
(Doctors heading down coach) I had these ideas, I thought I could appear at the end? I could like, sort of, I could save you all. You could all be trapped and I could save you, or, you could all die, and I could just be left there....
(Coach departing) I become the Doctor, a Time Lord, and - I could have a catchphrase? I could have a great catchphrase, like, my catchphrase could be "Quel dommage!". Like, "Quel dommage, Davros!". Like, and I could, like, and instead of like having a sonic screwdriver I could have and...
(fades) Space
Space An Adventure In Space And Time
Announcer: This is the BBC. The following programme is based on actual events. It is important to remember, however, that you can’t rewrite History. Not one line. Except, perhaps, when you embark on an Adventure in Space and Time...
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Sydney: We wanna do a science-fiction serial. Legitimate stuff, though. No tin robots or B.E.M.s
Verity: B.E.M.s?
Sydney: Bug-Eyed Monsters! You know... Death rays and mutations. Brains in glass jars! All that kind of crap.
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Sydney: A good-looking guy, a good-looking girl and a kid who gets into trouble. Plus an older man. Quirky. I’ll come back to him. They travel about in space and time getting into scrapes!
Verity: Ooh! Lovely idea!
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Sydney: There’s never been a female producer here You’re just what this place needs. Someone with piss and vinegar in their veins!
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Bill: And what about the Doctor himself?
Verity: Your character?
Bill:
(warming)We’ll see.
Verity: He whisks the school teachers off from their own time. But he can’t remember how to fly his ship. So they’re always landing in unexpected places. He’s something like six hundred years old. Looks like a senile old man but he’s tough.
Waris: Tough and wiry like an old turkey. It’s what you do so well, Mr Hartnell. Stern and scary but with a twinkle.
Verity: Trust me, Bill. You’re perfect for it. No-one will be able to resist you.
Bill: You really think so?
Verity: C.S.Lewis meets H.G. Wells meets Father Christmas! That’s the Doctor.
Bill: Hmmph.
(He puts his hands to his lapels)Doctor who?
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[a cameraman catches his first sight of a Dalek]
Cameraman: What the hell's that? A sink plunger and an egg-whisk? Oh well, if they can't take over the universe they might at least be able to whip up a decent omelette.
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Mervyn: It can’t go on. He’s become so difficult to work with. And his lines...
Sydney: I hear you!
Mervyn: Poor chap’s worn out.
Sydney: Shame. Goddam shame.
Mervyn: So, that’s that, I suppose.
Sydney: What do you mean?
Mervyn: Well, we can’t have ‘Doctor Who’ without Doctor Who, can
we?
Sydney(sotto, to himself) Pop. Pop. Pop...
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Sydney: We’ve got great plans for ‘Doctor Who’, Bill, believe you me. Great plans. We’re hundred percent committed too.
Bill: I’m very glad to hear it!
Sydney: But we’re looking at ways of... refreshing it. Um... Regenerating it.
Bill: Hm. Yes. Quite right. Spice things up a bit.
Sydney Bill-
Bill: I’m glad we’re on the same wavelength anyway!
Sydney: Bill...hell, there’s no easy way of saying this... We want‘ Doctor Who’ to go on.
Bill: Yes.
Sydney: But not with you. Like you said. Things have got to change.
Bill: I see.
(He nods. He knew this was coming. He looks almost relieved.) A new face?
Sydney: Yes.
Bill: Who...who have you got in mind?
Sydney: You’re a hard act to follow, Bill-
Bill: No need for the soft-soap, Sydney. You know me better. Who?
(Slowly, Sydney takes out a photo from a thick file and slides it a cross the desk. It’s of a saturnine, much younger man with dark hair.
Sydney: You approve?
Bill: Quite. Patrick Troughton! Excellent choice.
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(September1966 – Bill is still looking up, eyes closed. He’s standing as he first was, by the console. He lowers his head and opens his eyes to find the studio is now full of crew. And three people stand facing him. Mike and Anneke , the new companions and the dark, beguiling Pat, the new Doctor Who. He has a mop of black hair and is dressed in baggy check trousers and a beaten up frock-coat. Silence. Tense silence. The old Doctor and the new Doctor face each other. Then)—
Pat: Well, then. Who’s who?
(Bill smiles. The mood is broken. Pat comes over and shakes him warmly by the hand.) I won’t lie to you. I’m scared stiff!
Bill: Oh, you’ll be fine. In fact, you’ll be wonderful. I told them, you know, there’s only one man in England who could take over.
Pat: Oh. Couldn’t they find him?
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[Red lights on, cameras are grouped around the three cast. Bil gazes down at the dials, gauges and winking instruments for the last time. This is it. His eyes fill with tears as he contemplates the end. The roar of the TARDIS engines... Then Bill notices something else. On the opposite side of the hexagonal console. Another pair of hands, imitating his own gesture. Bill looks up. Facing him is – The Doctor. The Eleventh in that illustrious line. Matt Smith. Bill stares at the stranger. Matt adjusts his bowtie and just- winks. Bill smiles]